


Crashed In To You

by 0o_pervy_noona_o0



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, Sad Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Smut, jung hoseok - Freeform, kpop, namjin - Freeform, taekook, vkook, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:03:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 55,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13672914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0o_pervy_noona_o0/pseuds/0o_pervy_noona_o0
Summary: March 15th was the worst day of my life. My mother and twin brother were in a car accident where my twin brother lost his life. My mother was in the hospital, trying to recuperate from serious injuries while my father worked constantly to make sure she had the care she needed. Weeks later, when I still couldn't seem to face my brother's death, it was suggested I go to grief counseling...and that is where I met someone that would change my life forever.





	1. Chapter 1

"They were out of strawberry, so I got you lime." I said, walking into my mother's hospital room with a bowl full of jello.

"Thank you sweetie." she smiled.  Despite everything she had faced over the last three weeks, she was still able to smile.  I don't know how she was.  I was barely able to even force one.  When my twin brother died in the accident that landed her in here, it felt like a piece of me died with him.  The hosptial suggest group grief counceling with others who were going through something similar, that way we could help each other heal.  My mother delt with the loss like any normal person would, and started to heal little by little.  I couldn't move past it so, much to my reluctance, I was forced to attend and today was going to be the first session.

"Can I get you anything else?" I asked, as I stood in the doorway.

"No, I'm ok.  The nurses are here if I need anything." she said softly.  I sighed and looked out into the hallway.  There was the hustle and bustle of a busy hospital floor, nurses and doctors coming and going.  I couldn't help but notice one patient in his hospital clothes walking slowly down the hallway with his IV pole.  He was very handsome, but looked sad.  His face echoed how my heart felt, making me feel for him, though I knew absolutely nothing about him. 

"What time is your session?" my mom asked, breaking my train of thought.

"In about an hour." I said, looking at my watch.  By time I looked back out into the hallway, the patient had rounded the corner out of my sight. 

"Why don't you go get something to eat before?" she asked, trying to show her mothering concern like always.

"I'm not very hungry." I said, tapping the toe of my converse on the tile floor.

"I know sweetie, but you need to eat at least a little something.   You don't want to worry your father more than he already is." she reminded.  I sighed and nodded as I left her room and headed downstairs to the cafeteria.  I went to the coffee shop and ordered a smoothie.  It wasn't something to eat but it was close enough.  I sat at a table in the corner for a while, just sipping on it and watching people come and go through the cafeteria.  I looked at the clock and sighed, knowing I had to make my way to this group session.  I really didn't want to do this.  I wanted to deal with his death in my own way.  I stood up and begrudgingly made my way to the first floor conference room where it was being held.  I walked in to see 3 other people already seated in the chairs made into a small circle.  I took a seat and sat there with my hands folded in my lap.  There was an older man, a middle aged woman, and a teenage girl all looking like they dreaded this as much as I did.  We all were pretty silent, just waiting to get this over with.  The door opened and the young man that I saw walking in the hall came through the door, looking around at us.  He sat in the seat directly across from me, and let out a sigh.  I studied his face as he looked around at everyone, noticing how deep and expressive his eyes were. 

"I apologize for being late, I was dealing with a patient." a woman said, coming through the door with a clipboard.  Oh God, here we go.  She sat down in one of the empty chairs and crossed her legs, looking around at all of us.  She had us start by going around and introducing ourselves, and after, one by one, we started to tell the reasons why we were here.  When it came to me, I wanted to just get up and walk out, but I swallowed my desire and cleared my throat.

"Recently my mother and brother were in a car accident.  My mother is still here, healing...but my twin brother lost his life that night." I said barely loud enough for anyone to hear.   I couldn't look up from my lap as I let out a sigh.

"That has to be very difficult for you.  Were you and your brother close?" she asked.

"Very close.  I don't know if it was because he was my twin or what, but it's like he was part of me, so it feels like part of me died as well.  I can't come to terms with the fact that he is really gone.  It makes me feel like I can't breathe when I know I will never see him again..." I trailed off, wiping my eyes.  I looked up to see the guy, who introduced himself as Hoseok, looking at me softly.  I sniffled and bit my lip, unable to talk anymore.

"You did well being able to express that. Some can't even do that.  We have something we can focus on now." she replied.    As she came to Hoseok, I couldn't help but notice the tears in the corners of his eyes already.

"I was in a car accident with my mother and she uh...she didn't make it." he said, sniffing. 

"I'm sure that was devestating to you." she replied.

"Yeah. I wish every day it was me instead of her.  She was all I had." He said, putting his hand on his forehead, as tears fell down his face.  It was painful to see all these people in pain.  I don't know why they said it would help to see others going through the same thing.  I felt so bad for them.  The older man had lost his granddaughter to cancer, the middle aged woman lost her husband to a robbery, and the teenager had lost her first boyfriend to an accident as well.  I didn't know any of these people, but seeing them suffer like this made me feel so much worse.  As the session ended, everyone started leaving, looking as bad as I felt.  I held the door open for Hoseok so he could walk through with his IV pole.

"Thank you." he said softly.

"You're welcome." I replied.  We walked near each other and both stood waiting for the elevator.

"You are on the sixth floor, right?" I asked, looking over at him.  His face still looked so sad, as he barely looked up at me.

"Yes, how did you know?" he asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"My mother is on that floor." I replied, nodding. 

"Oh ok.  I thought you looked familiar." he said softly.  As the door opened, we both got on the elevator and stood there silently as we waited for it to open back up on our floor. When it did, I held the door open as he walked out.  He started down the hall, and turned back to look at me.

"Thank you.  I guess I will be seeing you around." he said, giving me a sad smile.

"I guess so.  Take care." I said softly.  He nodded and walked slowly down the hall.  I went into my mom's room and sat on the chair, letting out a deep sigh.

"How was it?" she asked, muting the t.v.

"Awful.  Why am I doing this?  These other people are suffering horrible things too, and it is not helping to see them in as much pain as I am in." I replied.

"I know honey, I'm sorry." she said softly.

"They all lost someone important to them too. One of the guys there lost his mom in a car accident, and he said she was all he had.  I can't imagine going through something like this alone." I said, folding my hands.

"Oh, that young man that is up here?  Yeah I heard the nurses talking about him.  Apparently he doesn't even have any visitors.  I'm sure he needs that counciling group a lot.  It is probably the only place he is getting support." she replied.  I felt sick, thinking about something like that.  I closed my eyes and tried to block it all out, but couldn't get his sad eyes out of my head.

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I hope you all will like this one! It may not be QUITE as long, but we shall see.  I haven't decided yet.

 


	2. T W O

A couple of days later, I stood there in my mom's doorway, waiting for them to bring her back from some tests. I was hoping she would be back in her room before I had to leave. I was dreading going to the session today. As if once a week wasn't bad enough, we had to go three times a week. I looked at my watch and sighed, knowing it was about time I make my way there. As I looked up into the hallway, I noticed Hoseok slowly walking toward the direction of the elevator. I decided I would walk down with him and help him with doors and stuff. Even if I was not in any shape to offer real help to anyone, which is what he really needed, I could do little things like this since he was all alone. I jogged for a second until I almost reached him. I walked up behind him until I matched his pace.

"Hi, Hoseok." I said softly. He jumped, obviously startled at my presence.

"O-Oh, hey." he replied, trying to offer a half hearted smile.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, I didn't mean to." I replied, pressing the down button as we both reached the elevator.

"It's ok. The nurses are constantly startling me when they come in too. I think it's cause it's always so quiet that when someone or something makes noise, it scares me." he shrugged. That thought made me sad too, realizing he really must be all alone.

"You headed to counciling, I'm guessing?" I asked, chewing on my lip. He nodded as the doors to the elevator opened. I held them open for him until he got in, and I followed quickly.

"Thank you." he said, giving me a tiny smile again. Even though I know it wasn't a big smile or even probably a genuine one, it was a change from the sad expression that seemed to be tattooed on his face.

"You know...if uh...look I'm not good at this right now but...if you want some company or something, I wouldn't mind visiting you. I'm here all the time now anyway, and I think my mom would actually be happy to get rid of me for a while." I offered a tiny smile back. He hesitated for a moment before looking over at me, his eyes almost looking glossy. Oh shit, did I say something wrong?

"Th-thats ok. You don't have to visit me out of pity." he replied, looking down to the ground.

"I'm not. It would be nice to talk to someone around my age." I responeded softly. I don't know why I was even offering to do this, in truth.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes lighting up slightly.

"Yeah. I love my mom, but she has been driving me kinda crazy lately. Since she is stuck in her hospital bed, she had nothing to do but hover and be smothering." I said, shaking my head.

"I know how that can be. My mom is-.....was like that too." he said, his voice breaking at the end. Shit, why did I open my big mouth?

"I'm sorry, Hosoek. I didn't think about what I said." I replied, putting my forehead in my hand. He shook his head as he wiped his eyes quickly, and sniffling.

"It's not your fault." he responded, letting out a soft sigh. The elevator doors opened like salvation, getting me out of this intensely awkward situation. I held them open for him and followed him until we reached the counciling room. The older man and middle aged woman were already there, as well as the group leader. As Hoseok and I sat across from each other, the group leader cleared her throat.

"I guess we can go ahead and start. Before we do, I thought I should mention that Kaitlyn won't be back to our sessions. She and her family thought a new start in a new area would be better for her, so she will continue her counciling elsewhere." she began. Lucky Kaitlyn. She then started having us one by one describe something horrible; where we were and how we reacted to the news. Fuck, I was not ready for this. When it came to my turn, I opened my mouth to speak, but only could shake my head.

"Please, it is important that you share this. If you can bring yourself to say even a little about it, it will be helpful. Please, try your best to tell us as much as you can." she said, putting her hand on my arm. I wanted to punch her and tell her she had no idea what we were really going through, but I closed my eyes and wiped away the tears that had already wet my cheeks.

"I remember it like it happened this morning. My mom had just gotten Jinyoung from his studio time. He loved to sing and produce music. He had high hopes of getting in the industry when he graduated college. I would usually go with him, cause I loved to hear him sing, and I would sometimes play piano for him while he sang. This time I happened to be getting over the tail end of the flu, so I was told I couldn't go and I had to stay home. I woke up to hearing the doorbell ringing repeatedly, and then knocking on the door right after. I didn't realize how late it was at that point, since I had fallen asleep. When I opened the door, I saw two policemen standing there. When they told me my mother and brother had been in a fatal accident, I felt all the air go out of my lungs. They told me they were getting my father from work but that I needed to come to the hospital with them. I started to follow them out of the house without question, but stopped for a moment once things started to register. I told them that they said fatal accident, meaning someone died. They didn't want to tell me at first but when I demanded to know or I wasn't going anywhere...they told me Jinyoung died on the scene, and that my mom was touch and go. I blacked out and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital." I said, stopping every few scentences to wipe fresh tears off of my face.

"I am very proud of you for telling us all that. You did very well, and I am so sorry that you lost him." she encouraged. I nodded and made the mistake of looking over at Hoseok who wiped tears away and was biting his lip. I felt my lip tremble and looked down at my hands, trying not to cry anymore. But that all changed as soon as he started telling his story.

"My mom and I were both really sick with the flu. She hadn't been keeping anything down for days, and her fever got really high. I kept trying to get her to let me take her to the hospital, but she refused. She was stubborn...so damn stubborn. I started getting worse as well, my fever quite high as well. When she knew my fever got high, she finally agreed to go to the hospital if I went with her. She was so weak I had to help her to the car. Once I finally got her settled in, I started to drive us there. I felt horrible but not as bad as I was in reality. When we were about halfway to the hospital, I....I passed out at the wheel. When I came to, the car was on it's side and I was in the car alone. I had blood on me but I couldn't tell from where. I was hurting everywhere, but I was panicking because I couldn't find her. I busted my door open and climbed out to see her on the pavement, covered in blood herself. I got to her as quickly as I could, and she was....she was taking very weak breaths. I held her hand and she looked at me for only a fleeting moment before she went limp. I started to panic and couldn't find a pulse so I started to do CPR. It took the paramedics forever to arrive. By time they did, my mom was gone. I refused to stop doing CPR until the paramedics had to p-pry m-me off h-her." he stopped, burying his face in his hands. I stifled a little sob of my own, hurting for him. He looked up at me, his face looking so heartbroken.

"Hoseok, I think I can speak for everyone here when I say, I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that was, and I am sorry that you had to face that." she said, wiping a tear from her eye as well. He nodded, looking back down and wiping the tears off of his face.

"Look, we won't go any further today. The only thing other thing that needed to be addressed is this; you need to lean on each other. You will be each other's greatest allies in fighting the grief. That being said, you will be assigned a grief support partner. It is kind of like when you have a sponsor in AA. When you are going through a hard time, need to talk, have a weak moment, or just need a shoulder to cry on, your partner will be that for you." she said, looking around at us. Luck having it, she assigned me and Hoseok to each other, giving us each other's numbers and his and my mother's hospital room numbers. I know I was going through a difficult time, but what I was going through was almost nothing in comparison to what he had gone through. I just hoped that would be able to give him a little bit of support.

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It won't be this dark the entire time, I swear!

 


	3. T H R E E

I couldn't help but let my mind wander while my mom took a nap.  I stood in the doorway and stared down the hallway in the direction of Hoseok's room.  I wondered if what the nurses said was true, did he really get no visitors?  I looked over at my sleeping mother and then up at the clock.  It was only a few minutes before two, leaving way too much of the day left for my liking.  I hadn't noticed Hoseok make his rounds yet, and a little piece of me worried slightly. I don't know why, I barely knew the guy.  I struggled with myself for a few minutes before I decided to take a leap.  I walked out of the room and slowly down the hallway.  As I reached the end of the hallway, I took a right and his room was the first one on the right.  I swallowed and knocked on the door gently, to be answered by a soft 'come in'.  I opened the door slowly to see him laying on the bed, the tv on but barely audible.  His eyes went wide as he cleared his throat and sat up a little, covering his legs more with the blanket.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you." I said, biting my lip.

"N-no, not all.  Please, have a seat." He replied, motioning to the chair right beside the bed.  I gave him a small smile and sat down next to him, crossing my legs. He played with the edge of his blanket as he cleared his throat, looking nervous.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I asked, worrying about doing more harm than good.

"No! No, it's just that besides the doctors and nurses, no one has come to talk to me.  I guess I just feel a little out of practice." He shrugged.

"I'm sorry.  That must feel very lonely." I replied softly.  He shrugged again, still picking at the edge of the blanket.

"It's quiet.   And yeah, I guess it does get pretty lonely." He responded.  He sighed and looked almost as if he could cry, making me feel horrible for him.  I put my hand on his arm, making him flinch from my touch.  I went to remove my hand, but before I could, he put his hand on mine, quickly.  

"I...no one has touched me besides for medical reasons since..." He trailed off.  He removed his hand, but after hearing that, I didn't plan on removing mine.

"Hoseok..." I started, looking to get his attention.

"You can call me Hobi if you want.  It's a nickname I usually go by." He stated, giving me the first little smile that didn't seem forced.

"Hobi, what would you say if I ordered us some food? Like real food, not this crappy hospital food." I offered.  His smile at that point only widened, his eyes almost glowing.

"Seriously?" He asked, his voice sounding hopeful.

"Sure! We can get whatever you want, my treat." I replied, getting out my phone.

"Wow, thank you." he responded, almost bouncing a little.  He bounced around between a few things before decided on black bean noodles.  I called the local restaurant my family ordered from all the time and placed an order, Hoseok smiling the whole time.  As I hung up, I stood up, putting my phone in my pocket.

"Hey, let me go just tell my family I won't be back for a while, so they don't worry." I said, motioning to the doorway behind me.  He nodded and I quickly jogged out of the room and down the hall where my mother still was sleeping, but a nurse was checking her IV's. 

"Hey, um can you please tell my mom when she wakes up that I will be having dinner with a friend, but that I am close by, so if she needs me..." I trailed off.  The nurse nodded with a smile and I quickly jogged back to Hoseok's room.  He was still sitting up in his bed, still nervously playing with his blanket.  His face broke out into a smile again as soon as he saw me. 

"That was fast!" he grinned.

"Yeah, she wasn't awake yet.  I just asked the nurse to tell her." I replied, walking closer.  I made my way to the chair, only to have him put out his arm.

"You can come sit up here if you want." he repled, moving his legs slightly to one side.  Normally I would have thought he was being a little over friendly for not knowing me much.  Given his state of constant lonliness, I felt moved to do something about it.  I nodded and lowered the railing on the bed, climbing up on it and sitting cross-legged facing him.

"So, tell me something about yourself, Hobi." I started, folding my hands and placing them in my lap.  He rubbed the back of his neck and looked up, like he really had to think of something.

"I really like to dance." he smiled, shrugging.

"Oh, that's nice!  How long have you been dancing?" I asked.  His eyes lit up as he started to gush about his dancing history.  He really must have loved it, given his enthusiasm about the subject. 

"I hope to one day to professionally dance, or at least teach dance, or maybe even be a choreographer.  But now, I'm not so sure." he said, biting his lip.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, wondering why the sudden change in his demeanor.

"I may have long term issues because of the accident." he sighed, looking down. 

"Don't get too discouraged yet.  I know it's hard not to, but since you don't know yet, don't assume the worst.  From the way you talk about it, you have a very strong passion for it.  I think you can do whatever you set your mind to." I replied, offering him a smile, and placing my hand on his.  He looked back up at me, eyes glistening with unshed tears as a small smile came back onto his face. 

"Thank you for saying that.  Ugh, I don't know why I am crying so much lately.  I hate it." he laughed, wiping his eyes before the tears could fall.

"It's ok, I'm the same way.  Everything seems to be making me cry lately." I chuckled, feeling my own eyes get damp at seeing him try not to cry.   We talked for a little while longer, and I have to say, whenever he would actually genuinely laugh, it sounded like pure magic.  It warmed my heart and made me smile the first heartfelt smile I had given in a while.  Eventually our food was delivered, and we both ate together, making a mess of our faces with the black bean sauce.  We laughed and I handed him a napkin.  As I reached for my own, I froze, feeling his hand come up to my face. I stared at him, my eyes wide as he took his thumb and gently wiped it across my cheek.

"You had a little sauce." He giggled, sticking the pad of his thumb in his mouth.  I felt my heart thumping in my chest and my face get hot, as I smiled back at him.  What the hell was this feeling? 

"Th-thanks." I replied, looking down and wiping the napkin across the rest of my face.  We talked for a while longer until we were interrupted by a nurse coming in with a large smile on her face.

"It's good to see you so happy, Mr. Jung." she said, pushing in her cart.

"It is." I responded, making him flush slightly. 

"It's time for your medication and dressing changes." she said, getting a roll of gauze. 

"Ok, I'll get out of the way.  Hoseok, I actually better go back and check to see if my mom needs anything.  But text me?" I asked, nodding.  He smiled and nodded back, waving at me.  I waved back as I turned around and headed to my mom's room, my face still feeling a little pink.  As I walked into her room, my mom had a big smile on her face.

"Good news?" I asked, plopping on the chair beside her.

"No, we won't have the results for a few days.  No, I'm smiling because I am glad to hear you laugh again." She smiled, unclasping one of her hands from each other and holding it out to me.

"How do you know I was laughing?" I asked, raising my eyebrow, and taking her hand with a smile.

"Honey, I could hear you two clear over here.  I'm glad you are able to make that young man laugh and smile too.  You are doing a good thing." she said, squeezing my hand.  I hoped that was true.  But in truth, I think Hoseok was doing a good thing for me too.

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Idk why but to me, Hoseok's hotness here is ridiculous lol

 


	4. F O U R

Hoseok and I texted throughout the evening, getting to know more about each other.  Like, I learned that he was an only child.  His mother apparently had a miscarriage when he was only 3, so after that, they decided that he would be an only child.  Then when he was 14, his father died from a freak accident at work.  Thankfully, the insurance his employer had paid out a good bit to them, making it possible for them to survive without his mother having to work more than the part time job she already had.  Hoseok graduated high school and just recently college, making his mother very proud.  He was just starting to get into looking for a career with his dance when this accident happened.  His mother and father were both only children that lost their parents early in life, so he had no family left.  He had a few friends in high school but sadly in college, he became too busy and they drifted away and no longer had contact.  He didn't care though, he had his mom.  He did his best to be a man and take care of her and the household as much as he could.  Every little bit I learned about him made me like and respect him more and more.  Today, as much as I was dreading this grief counciling session again, I dreaded it a lot less now that I had a new friend there.  As we agreed on, I was going to meet him at his room so we could walk down together.  I kept looking at my watch until I finally decided I just wanted to go get him early.   I walked down to his room and knocked on the door, to hear a soft 'come in'.  As I opened the door, my eyes widened and my face immediatley flushed.  There he was, standing in only his pants as he reached for a clean hospital shirt.  Despite the bits of damage from the accident, his body definitely showed that he was a dancer.

"Oh, I uh, sorry!"I said, looking down really quickly, putting my hand on my cheek.  I heard him giggle as I continued to stare at the floor.

"You're fine.  It's not like I'm naked." he continued to giggle.  I nodded but still looked down, biting my lip.

"I know I'm early." I mumbled.  I heard him chuckle more as I heard his footsteps get closer to me.

"Are you blushing?" he asked, standing right in front of me.  I looked up as he started to button up his shirt, making sure to try to train my eyes on his face.  That was no better.  He was smirking slightly, a different look in his eye than I had seen before.  It made me feel fluttering in my stomach, my face still burning hot.

"I will text before I come next time." I said, trying to calm myself down. 

"I promise, it's fine.  I wouldn't have said come in if I was worried." he replied.  I nodded and gave him a nervous smile.  We sat on the edge of the bed together and talked a little bit more before starting to head down to counciling.  When we arrived, the rest of the group, including the group leader was there already.  We both muttered an apology, not even realizing we were late, as we sat down.

"I'm glad you both were able to make it today.  It's a very light day today, nothing too intense.  Basically, we are going to be talking about utilizing your grief partner, and what we can do to support one another." she started.  Hoseok and I looked at each other with a soft smile before turning our attention back to the group leader.  We learned several things that she wanted us to do for each other, some of which, Hosoek and I were already doing together.  The session thankfully went by much quicker than usual, all without the harshness it had been this past week.  The mood seemed ok until she gave us out our assignments for the weekend.  She brought out that sometimes the hardest part about the grieving process is learning to say goodbye.  Many of us didn't get a chance to say goodbye to those who died, so we had to write goodbye letters to our loved ones that passed away.  I swallowed the feelings that wanted to bubble up and folded the letter template, putting it in my pocket.  I saw Hoseok do the same as he sighed loudly.   As we all left and he and I made it back to his room, I tried to lighten the mood again. 

"Hobi, I wanted to say, I am thankful that you are my partner.  I know I have known you less than a week, but you have already made me smile again, when most days I didn't think it was possible.  Thank you.  I just hope I can do the same for you.  So if you ever need me, night or day, don't hesitate to call or text me." I said, trying to get him to look at me.  I saw him start breathing heavily as he stared straight ahead at the bed. Fuck, why did I have to open my big mouth?  I started to open my mouth again to apologize when Hoseok rushed me, wrapping his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.  I was afraid to move for a moment until I wrapped my arms around his back and squeezed gently. My heart started to hammer hard, and I was afraid he was going to feel it. 

"Thank you.  Thank you so much." I heard him sniffle. 

"You don't have to thank me." I replied softly.  He rested his face in the crook of my neck, making me swallow.  I could feel his warm breath against my skin, sending chills down my back.  I almost started to relax my arms out of the hug but I felt him hold me tighter.  I could feel a tear hit my skin on my neck, making me realize something that made me start blinking back tears of my own.  This was probably the first time that someone held him since it all happened, the first time someone offered real comfort.  I squeezed him as tight as I could without feeling like I was going to hurt him.

"You have been so nice to me.  I don't deserve it." he said quietly.

"How can you say that? I know I don't know everything there is to know about you, but you are a very nice person.  Why would you say that?" I asked, snaking one arm toward his upper back and and starting to rub and pat it softly.

"I'm a murderer." he sobbed, as I felt his body tremble.

"No, ok? No!  Don't you dare say that!" I said, pulling back a little and making him lift his head to look at me.  His eyes were so red and puffy, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"B-but I k-k-kill..."he started, but before I let him finish I put my hand over his mouth. 

"Hobi, I need you to listen to me.  It was not your fault.  You can't help it.  It was an accident.  Just an accident.  You didn't do anything wrong, alright?  Now I need you to say that for me.  It was an accident, you did nothing wrong." I said, staring into his eyes.  He nodded slowly as I took my hand down.

"I-It w-was an a-accident.  I did n-nothing wrong." he said through the tears.  I nodded and held him back close to me again.  I bit my lip, trying to hold back my tears.  Seeing him like this hurt so much.  Why did it hurt so much?  Why did I feel like this?  I know I hadn't known him long, but they say grief can bring people together quicker than most things.  Is that what was happening here? Was this just feeling pity for a fellow human being, or was there more to this?

"Can you p-please stay for a little bit?" he asked, putting his head back into the crook of my neck. 

"Sure, I will stay as long as you need me to."

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Double update cause I love you all 


	5. F I V E

I wound up leaving shortly after, only long enough to tell my mom that I was going to stay with Hoseok for a while, until he felt better.  She thought it was a good idea, and smiled at the idea of me out with someone else.  She said it was a good thing, that it would help me heal too.  I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but maybe she was right.  I had noticed that since I met Hoseok and started to get to know him, and get closer to him, that the utter emptiness and pain I felt had dulled a little.  I went back into his room and sat next to him in the chair, making him give me a small smile.

"Thank you for staying with me." he said, seeming a little more in control of himself.

"Hey, it's no problem. I like spending time with you." I smiled back.  He turned a little pink before looking down at his blanket.

"I really like spending time with you too.  I'm sorry if I was a little too...close...earlier.  I don't know what came over me." He said, looking embarrassed.

"Don't apologize.  I...I liked it." I said, now feeling embarrassed myself.  I saw him crack a big smile, still looking down at his blanket, the flush on his cheeks darkening, now reaching the tip of his ears. 

"I did too." he replied, biting his lip.  We eventually relaxed again and started watching T.V. together.  We put on shows that were meant to be serious, but he and I picked apart the plot lines, the acting, and the irrationality of them, making us crack up laughing.  He had lowered the railing on the side of the bed where I was sitting, and I curled my legs up into the chair beside me, leaning my top half onto his bed.  He had scooted a little closer, sometimes our hands brushing one another, sending elecricity coursing through my body.  At one point, our hands were touching and he didn't move it away, eventually resting his pinky over mine.  I swallowed hard and felt my heart pounding again.  Why did I feel like this over a simple touch of our skin?  I tried to ignore the feeling as we continued to enjoy each other's company throughout the rest of the evening and into the night.  Before I knew it, I heard I groan, waking me up in the middle of the night.  I had fallen asleep like that, with Hobi sleeping next to me.  The dim light of the monitors shone down on us, letting me see his gorgeous features.  His face wasn't completely relaxed, however.  His forehead was scrunched up slightly and I heard a slight groan again.  His breathing got a little heavier, he started moving his head back and forth slowly.  He started panting slightly until he let out a sound that was very close to a moan. I felt my face get hot, as he moved a little in his sleep, rolling onto his back a little more, making me notice something I really wish I wouldn't have.  He was pitching a serious tent, making me want to gasp.  I tried to slowly lean back off the bed, but he moved a tiny bit more, letting out a little bit louder of a moan.  Oh God, was he having a wet dream?  I bit my lip and tried to keep very still.  I didn't want to risk waking him up and him knowing I saw him aroused like this.  I laid my head back down in the position I was when I woke up, hoping he wouldn't dream anymore.  I wasn't so lucky though.  He let out another close lipped moan, making my heart race, and my palms sweat.  He sounded insanely hot, making me realize he probably only sounded hotter when he was awake.   I heard him suddenly gasp and shift. I could feel him sit up as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to pretend to sleep.

"Fuck." he whispered as I felt him get up from the bed.  He shuffled his way to the bathroom and shut the door, making me let out a breath of relief. That was so awkward but I wasn't going to lie; it made me very warm and excited. I was still a virgin, and this was the closest I had ever been to a guy that was excited before.  I mean, I wasn't naive, I knew plenty about sex, I just hadn't had it yet. I laid still for a few minutes until I heard a moan from the bathroom.  As if that wasn't enough to make me squirm, I heard him moan my name quietly.  I felt out of breath, as my head started spinning with thoughts of what he was doing in there.  After a minute more, I heard the bathroom door open, making me squeeze my eyes shut.  I could hear him walk close by, stopping to stand near me.  I flinched slightly as I felt a blanket being put over me.  He walked back around the other side of the bed and felt it shift as he climbed back on.  He laid down and I heard him sigh near my head.  I then felt my hair being brushed back and tucked behind my ear.  I resisted the urge to smile as I felt him softly place his hand over mine. 

"You are so beautiful in every way. God, you probably think I'm such a weirdo." He whispered softly.  I did my best to not reveal the fact that I was awake, but hearing him say that made me feel even more sorry for him. I hoped I hadn't made him feel like I thought that about him.  He sighed again as I felt him gently move his thumb back and forth on the back of my hand.

"Sorry I'm like this.  I used to not be this bad, you know?  Clingy, super emotional, even desparate.  I used to be a better man.  I wish I knew you before.  I wish you saw me as a manly figure, not as this broken person that I am now." He whispered some more.  God, I felt so guilty being awake right now.  He didn't want me to hear all this.  Before I let him say anything else, I sucked in a slightly sudden breath and moved a little, stretching.  I sat up a little to make it look like I just woke up, only to see him with his eyes shut, now pretending to be asleep.  I grinned as I decided that I was to going to equally embarrass myself and return the favor to him.  I took my free hand and ran it softly through his hair. 

"God, Hobi.  I am so glad that I met you.  You are such an amazing person." I whispered loud enough so he could hear me.  He remained completely still as I ran the back of my finger over his cheek, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You have such a good heart, and you are stunningly handsome.  I hope I can continue to get to know you better.  I like everything that I have gotten to know about you so far, well except the fact that you get so down on yourself.  That I don't like.  You are a good man.  I know that both of us are going through something horrible, and we have been able to support each other, and that is probably bringing us closer pretty quickly.  That's ok with me.  I hope you keep letting me in, and I promise I will continue to try to do the same." I whispered softly as I leaned forward, closer to his face.  I did something that I didn't know if I would later regret, but it just felt so right.  I then leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead, before leaning back down into my previous position.  I laid there for a while, just relishing the feeling of his hand over mine and hearing his gentle breathing before I finally let it lull me to sleep.

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I know a week seems like a short time to start feeling things for someone, but trust me...it happens. 

 


	6. S I X

"Good morning!  Oops!" a nurse's cheerful voice rang out, waking me from my sleep.  I sat up and looked over to see Hoseok just waking up, rubbing his eye.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know you had company!" the nurse winked at him, making him flush a little.

"Oh crap, my mom is probably worried to death. I better get back. I had a great time with you, Hobi.   If you want, I can stop by later today, maybe?" I said, rubbing my face and standing up.

"I would like that very much.  Thank you for staying with me last night.  I enjoyed a lot too." he smiled, looking so bright and happy.  I felt a warmth in my chest from seeing his relaxed and happy state, making me grin.

"I am glad I stayed.  I promise, I will be back shortly." I said, grabbing and squeezing his hand, before heading toward the door.  He waved at me, his face still bright and beaming.  I smiled as I walked back to my mom's room and still had that smile on my face as I walked inside.

"Well, there you are!  I was a little worried at first, but I had a night nurse go check to see if you were ok and she showed me this." my mom started talking fast as she reached for her phone.  She picked it up and showed me a picture of Hobi and I asleep near each other, making me shake my head ,but still unable to wipe the grin from my face.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to stay the night, it just kind of happened.  Sorry I didn't come tell you." I said, as I sat in the chair next to her.

"Don't be!  I encourage you to spend as much time with that boy as you want.  I am sure he is terribly alone, and having you has probably done him a world of good already.  And I know for a fact it is doing you good." She smiled, taking my hand in hers and patting it softly. 

"Thank you.  I know I fought you on this, and I still really hate those grief counciling sessions, but I'm glad I went now." I said in a quiet voice.  She squeezed my hand in hers and let out a soft sigh.

"So, what do they have you doing?" she asked, looking almost like she was going to cry.  I then remembered the horrible assignment we were going to have to do this weekend and wanted to cry myself.

"Well, this weekend we have homework.  We have to write a goodbye letter to our loved one." I said, swallowing.  I felt her squeeze my hand again tightly and sniffle.

"I think that will be good for you.  You need that, and he would be glad to hear that from you." she said softly, speaking now of Jinyoung.  I nodded and stood, letting out a sigh.

"If it's ok with you mom, I'm going to shower really quick. I promised Hoseok I would be back soon." I said, as I walked over to my bag to grab some clothes.

"That's fine hun. Enjoy time with your new friend." She replied with a soft smile.  I grabbed a pair of leggings, and a shirt that came down to my mid thigh and ran into the bathroom.  I quickly showered, dressed and towel dried my hair.  As I came out of the bathroom, my father was standing by my mother's bedside, kissing her forehead.  It made me give a slight smile.  They always were so kind to each other, even down to this day. 

"Ah, I was hoping to see you before I had to leave." My dad said, opening his arms to me.  I walked over and gave him a big hug, melting into the hug a bit.  I always felt so safe and warm in his arms.

"You have to work again?" I asked as I pulled back a little bit to look at him.  He gave me a sad smile and nodded.

"Yes, one of my crew members called out sick, so I ahv e to fill in for him." he replied, kissing the top of my head.

"I'm sorry.  Can I do anything for you?" I asked, feeling bad for him.  He has been working almost non stop since the accident.  I think the only day he had off was the funeral.

"Just continue taking care of your mother like you have been.  I am so proud of you.   She told me you are doing better little by little, and that makes me so relieved to hear." He said, patting my hair.

"I am trying." I replied softly.  I wanted to cry in my dad's arms, but I didn't want to do that to him.  I wanted to seem like I was stronger and better than I had been.

"She tells me you made a friend there and that you both are coping together." he said as he let me go and he held my mother's hand.

"Yes, I did.  He is on this floor, actually." I replied, remembering Hoseok, and wanting to get back to him soon.

"Good.  You do whatever you need to, anything that will help you." He said, as he got his keys out of his pocket to leave.

"Thank you, Appa." I said as I gave him one more quick hug.

"Ok my girls, I have to go now, but I will be back as soon as I can.  Love you both." he said, blowing us kisses before walking out the door.   I kissed my mom on the cheek as she let out a sigh.

"Are you ok, Eomma?  Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked, as I adjusted the pillow behind her a little bit.

"I'm alright, dear.  It is just hard seeing your father throw himself into his work so much.  He must be hurting too, but he thinks he has to be strong for us.  Now, I am ok and taken care of, you run along to your friend now." she said, shooing me away with her hands.  I smiled at her and sighed, walking over to grab the box of tissues to take with me.  I walked out the door and down the hall to Hoseok's room.  The closer I got, the more I felt my stomach start to flutter.  I shook it off and walked into his room, seeing a smile light up his face.  I tossed the tissues to him as he gave me a confused look.

"If we are going to work on our project, we are gonna need it." I said as I walked in and sat beside him.

"Shit, I forgot about that.  I am glad you are here to do it with me.  I don't know if I could handle doing that on my own." he said, giving me a warm smile and put his hand on my arm.  My skin tingled where he touched me, feeling the electricity course through my skin.

"Happy to be here, Hobi."

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I am going to TRY to get another chapter written today to put out sometime tomorrow or Monday.  I am currently sitting in a hotel room, waiting for my boyfriend to get here.  He won't be in until close to midnight, so I am hoping to get more writing done.  It depends on how much I am inspired :)  I hope you all have a safe holiday!  Much love to you all <3

 


	7. S E V E N

By time we finished writing our letters, both of us had cried quite a bit.  We didn't read them out loud, and we didn't expect each other to.  We just sat there and would hold each other's hand for a moment when it would get too much for one of us.  It actually wound up taking us hours and when we finally were done, we both felt exhuasted. 

"Can I ask you something?" Hobi asked, looking at me with a worried expression on his face.

"Of course.  You know, if you have a question to ask me, you can just ask." I smiled.  He bit his lip, causing my stomach to flip, before taking a deep breath.

"After that, I really don't want to be alone.  Would you stay the night with me again?" he asked, playing with the edge of the blanket, a habit that he seemed to do when he was nervous.

"Yes, I would like that." I replied, feeling out of breath.  He smiled and patted the bed beside him, making my eyes widen.  I swallowed and stood from my seat, slowly climbing up onto the bed beside him.  He laid on his side, and cuddled into me, breathing deeply with his face in my neck.  Chills raised up on my skin, making me want to squirm.

"You smell so good." he said in a low voice.

"Thank you." I replied, wiping my sweaty palms on my leggings.  He leaned back and looked at me, scooting even closer as he put his hand up to my face.  He cupped my cheek and stared deeply into my eyes, taking my breath away. 

"C-can I k-kiss you?" he asked in a breathy voice.  I nodded and before I could register anything further, he pressed his lips against mine, moving them softly.  My breath immediately started turning heavy, my body trembling.  I moved my lips in rhythm with his, as my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.  He slipped his hand from my cheek to around the back of my neck, pulling me into him tighter.  The kiss was gentle and full of feeling, and our lips fit perfectly, almost as if we were made for each other.  He ran his tongue on my bottom lip, making me let out a subtle moan into his mouth.  He sucked in a big breath through his nose as he slipped his tongue into my open mouth.  I openly moaned when he slid his tongue over mine, making him let out a low moan as well.   I felt my body tingle and burn at hearing him, feeling like it was on fire.  At one point, I sucked on his tongue, making him moan even louder, as he was winding his hand into my hair and pulling it gently.  We broke away from each other, breathing heavily.

"That was amazing." I said, fisting my hand in his shirt. 

"Yeah.  You are a really good kisser." he breathed. I saw his eyes scanning my face and settling on my lips which were surely as swollen as his were. 

"I am?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Definitely." He replied, smiling a little.  I gave him a close-lipped smile, dreading saying what I was about to.

"I have never kissed anyone before that." I said, looking down at his lips.

"What?!  That was your first kiss?" he asked, running his hand back through my hair.  I nodded and felt a pain in my chest.

"Yeah.  Jinyoung was always super protective of me and told me I had to wait.  He told me I had to do that with someone that I really cared about. I am glad I listened to him and waited." I answered, giving him a small smile.  He searched my face as his eyes went wide.

"You really care about me that much?" he asked, a smile creeping it's way across his face. I nodded and without holding back another moment, he leaned back in and kissed me hard, this one full of urgency and want.  Our tongues danced together as his hand wrapped around my back, pulling me into him.  My hand traveled up into his hair, gently tangling my fingers into it and pulling it slightly. He let out a groan, leaning fully into me.  He grabbed my top leg and pulled it around his hips as he started kissing on my jaw.  I could feel his bulge resting on me as he continued his kisses down my neck, gently nipping and sucking on my skin.  I could feel the warmth of his tongue as it glided over my skin, making chills appear all over me. 

"Mmm Hobi, that's feels so good." I breathed as I felt my body tensing, responding to him.  He slid his hands down the curve of my side, resting it on my hip.  He groaned as I moved against him slightly, the feeling of desire coursing through me.  I almost felt disappointment as he pulled away from kissing me, my missing the feel of his lips.  We both breathed heavily as he looked into my eyes, a look on his face I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"I can't explain how you make me feel.  It's like...it's like when I look at you, my heart beats wildly and I can't control it.  All I know is, I want to continue to get to know you better every day.  What I'm trying to say is, do you think...." he trailed off, looking hesitant.  He looked troubled for a moment, biting his lip. 

"What is it, Hoseok?" I asked, putting my hand on his face.  He swallowed and gave me a shaky looking smile.

"When I get out of here, I would like to take you out on a real date.  Do you think that would be ok?" he asked slowly.  I swear I thought my heart was going to literally come springing out of my chest. 

"I would like that very much." I replied, my voice slightly shaky.  He grinned and hugged me tightly to him, making my heart race even more.  He laid onto his back and rolled me with him, my head on his chest, my arm around his body.  I could hear his heart beating as wildly as mine was.  I let out a hum of contentment, feeling relaxed for the first time in a while.  He kissed my forehead as I closed my eyes, eventually drifting off into a relaxing sleep.

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YUM! I hope everyone had a good holiday! 

 


	8. E I G H T

I awoke in the night, unsure of my surroundings at first.  I heard a gentle whimper come from right beside my head, and I realized suddenly why I was so warm.  I felt Hoseok, still pressed against me.  I felt his heart beating hard as he shifted slightly, groaning a little bit. 

"Hoseok, are you alright?" I whispered, half afraid to wake him up.  He was breathing heavily, his hand fisted into the sheet that covered us.  He let out another sound, only this time, it was definitely a moan.  I then remembered what happened the night before and instantly felt my face flush. 

"Hobi!" I said, just a little louder, feeling more nervous as he let out a grunt.  He almost arched his back slightly as he moaned louder, immediately afterward, jolting awake.  Sweat was beaded slightly on his forehead as his eyes moved back and forth.  I could clearly feel his erection against my leg as he shifted onto his side.

"Did I wake you up?" he asked, swallowing hard.  I shook my head and bit my lip, trying to keep my composure.  I could see the embarrassment on his face as he backed away from me a little, letting out a harsh sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.  He shook his head and lowered his gaze, almost looking like he was wincing. 

"N-nothing's w-wrong." he stuttered, his hand still clenched in a fist.

"Hobi, I can tell something is wrong.  Is it...that?" I asked, pointing down in between us.  He took his hand and covered as much of his face as possible. 

"I'm sorry." he said quietly, shifting uncomfortably.  I grabbed his hand off of his face and put it on my side.  His eyes opened wide as I pulled myself closer to him, letting his erection rub up against my leg.  He closed eyes and let out a hard breath, shifting against me slightly.  I leaned in and kissed him, immediately pressing my tongue into his mouth.  I moaned into his mouth, as he wrapped his arms around my back, gripping onto my shirt.  We continued like this for a moment until he grunted, pulling back from the kiss.  He let out a harsh sigh, letting his eyes roam my face.

"What is it?" I asked, as I rubbed against him slightly.  He gasped and put his hands on my quickly, stopping my movement.

"Look, I really want to be with you in every way possible.  I'm just not comfortable with it being under these circumstances." he said, still grimacing slightly. 

"What circumstance do you mean? Is it because you are in the hospital?" I said, hoping I didn't do something wrong.

"No, its not that. There is something about myself that I haven't told you yet.  I'm...I'm kind of...still a virgin." he said, smacking his hand over his face.   I grabbed his hand again and pulled it away from his face.  I don't know where this sudden boldness was coming from, but I decided to be brave and go for what I wanted.  And what I wanted, was Hobi.  I placed his hand on top of my breast, as his eyes went wide and he bit down on his lip.

"I am a virgin too, and I want all of my firsts to be with you." I said, sliding my hand in between us and brushing it against his bulge.  He grunted and squeezed his eyes shut as I felt his hard length throb through his pants. 

"Mmmm God, I have got to do something about this.  It is starting to get borderline painful." he said, still squeezing his eyes shut.  I leaned and started kissing on his neck, softly tracing my tongue back and forth over his skin.  He started breathing heavier as I rubbed my hand over his clothed erection, making him squirm underneath my touch.  He moaned slightly and squeezed his hand that was resting on my breast.  I groaned into his neck as I continued rubbing through his pants, feeling myself get so incredibly aroused.  I applied a little more pressure as I rubbed him, making him thrust his hips forward, his body tense. 

"Touch me...please." he whimpered, almost begging.  I swallowed hard as I slipped my hand down inside his pants and boxers, letting my fingertips brush his length.  He whimpered again, pushing his hips into my touch.  I gently wrapped my hand around his length, gripping it firmly. He nodded at me, gripping the sheets tightly. I started flicking my wrist, stroking him quickly.  He threw his head back, moaning in pleasure.  I felt him throb in my hand, precum running onto my fingers. 

"That's so nice, baby." He grunted, arching his back slightly.  I felt myself flush at the nickname, grinning against his neck.  I kissed my way up to his earlobe, taking it gently in my mouth and sucking on it.

"You feeling good?" I asked quietly in his ear.  He let out a breathy moan, throbbing in my hand again.

"Oh God, yes." He breathed, his hips continually moving under my touch.  He took his hands and slipped his pants and boxers down, giving my hand more room to move.  I continued kissing by his ear, suckling on his skin gently.  I slid my hand up over the wet tip of his throbbing erection, making him whine loudly almost as if he was in pain, his body trembling against me.  I stopped moving my hand for a second as he breathed fast.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked,  my confidence waning.  I felt nervous suddenly, making me withdraw my hand.

"No, no, you didn't!  You were doing everything just right." he reassured me, kissing me softly. 

"Do you want me to continue?" I asked, biting my lip.  He nodded quickly, his breathing picking back up again.  I gave him a slight smile as I gripped him again, feeling him throb in my hand immediately.  I started flicking my wrist at a decent pace, making him begin thrusting his hips slightly again. After a few moments, I could feel his body tensing slightly as he continued to thrust forward. 

"Mmmm baby, I'm gonna cum soon." he moaned, arching his back slightly, his body stiffening.  I increased my pace as he breathed heavier, letting out subtle moans and grunts with every breath.  I felt my body start to tingle in response to his groans and body movements. 

"Hobi, you're turning me on so much." I breathed into his neck.

"Ohhh m-my God." he grunted through gritted teeth.  I felt him harden in my hand and begin to throb, his body tense.

"Are you going to cum?" I asked, sucking on his neck.

"Fuck! I'm cumming." He moaned, arching his back to the extreme.  I felt him throb repeatedly as he released, some of his warm cum running onto my hand.  I slowed my movements as he laid there, gasping for breath.  He put his hand on his forehead and relaxed, his body still trembling slightly. 

"Are you ok?" I asked, leaning back slightly to give him some room.  He wrapped his arm quickly behind me to keep me from moving any further, pulling me into him.

"I'm better than ok.  That was incredible.   I mean absolutely incredible.  I've never cum so hard in my life." he laughed, leaning his head onto mine. 

"I'm guessing that is a good thing." I giggled, nuzzling into his neck. 

"Uh, yeah.  You were the first person I have ever been with like this, and baby, your touch is amazing." he said softly.  I looked up at him and smiled, kissing his cheek. 

"I'm glad I could make you happy." I replied. 

"You make me more than happy.  You make me feel whole.  I know that sounds insane but, I haven't felt anything but pain, anguish, and sorrow since everything happened.  You make me feel as though I can live again.  Thank you." he responded, kissing my forehead.  I knew what he meant, because as much as it terrified me, I think I felt exactly the same way.

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He looks stunning

 


	9. N I N E

I spent the rest of the weekend with Hoseok, talking, cuddling and feeling a calm I hadn't felt in what felt like forever.  It was now Monday and unfortunately, we now had to go to grief counceling again.  I was not ready to read my letter and almost worse, to hear Hoseok's.  We were both fairly quiet on the way there, holding hands in the elevator.  As we entered the room, we were actually the first ones there this time.  We sat next to each other, each of us holding our letter nervously in our hands.  I closed my eyes and tried to keep my hands from shaking until I felt one of his hands close over mine, holding it gently.  He squeezed it softly, offering me a slight smile.  The door opening made us both jump, as the rest of our group walked in.  As she started the group session, and the other two read their letters, I was already holding back tears.  When she came around to Hoseok, I tried really hard to swallow all my feelings and be strong for him.

"Eomma...I am saying goodbye because you were taken from me so quickly that I didn't get the chance.  I tried to save you, I really did, but nothing I did made any difference.  I'm sorry that I am the one who caused this in the first place.  I'm sorry it was not me who left.  Saying goodbye makes me feel like my heart is literally broken.  The ache and pain I feel in my chest is almost unbearable.  It is enough to make me want to die, but not enough to kill me.  But I will try to be strong, for you Eomma.  You always taught me to put the needs of others before myself, and I will continue to try to do my best for you.  I want you to know that I will do what I promised you and continue to try to follow my dreams.  I will always remember to be the man you raised me to be.  I love you Eomma, forever." he said, his voice trembling through most of it.  Silent tears made their way down his face as he folded his letter up and wiped them away.  I took his hand in my and gave it a subtle squeeze, making him look over at me.  He nodded and let out a shaky breath, releasing my hand.  I swallowed hard as I unfolded my letter and held it with unsteady hands.   I took a deep breath and looked down at it, the words already slightly blurred due to unshed tears.

"Jinyoung, I don't know how to say this in truth.  I am saying goodbye because I didn't get to see you before you left me.   You left me and I hate that I didn't get to see you one last time.  I still remember the last time I saw you though.  You told me not to pout because I couldn't go with you, and ruffled my hair like you always did.  I pushed your hand away because I was upset, and now I wish I wouldn't have.  You smiled and winked at me before walking out of the front door and that was the last time I ever saw your face.  Saying goodbye to you makes me feel like I can't breathe.  Knowing that I will never see you again, never speak to you or share anything with you makes me feel so much pain I am amazed I am still alive.  You are a part of me, and I feel like I will never be complete again without you.  You always told me that I was someone special, and that I should not give my heart away to anyone who asked for it.  I am still listening to you Jinyoung.  I am not simply giving it away to the first person who asked.  I am currently giving it away to somoene who is amazing and truly more than I could ever imagine to have for myself.  I want you to know that I will always keep you in my heart, even if you are gone.   I will never forget you, and I will always love you.  I miss you more than you can ever know, and that will never change either.  Please rest in peace, my dear brother." I finished, my voice thick with unshed tears.  My heart was hurting so much at the moment, it was making it difficult to breathe.  The group leader went on about how that was a good place to start being able to heal, now that we have said what we needed to, to our dead loved ones.  After the session ended, Hoseok and I both went upstairs, immediately cuddling into each other's arms.  It was something we both needed after that awful day.  As evening rolled around and we started to get sleepy, Hoseok kissed my forhead softly before looking deeply into my eyes.

"Did you mean what you said...about giving your heart away?" he asked, searching my face. 

"Yes, I did.  Hoseok, I understand what you have meant when you talked about the way you felt.  I feel the same way about you.  I can't explain why it has happened so fast, but I am falling for you pretty quick.  You make me feel things I have never felt before, and it scares me so much." I said, feeling my breathing increase.  He cupped my face gently in his hands before leaning in and kissing me softly. 

"It scares me too.  I haven't felt this way before either, but it is so strong and overpowering.  I can't stop thinking about you, and all I want to do is be with you all the time." he said, placing gentle kisses on my face every few words.  I cuddled into him and breathed in his scent as I felt a calm wash over me.  That calm eventually caused me to drift off to sleep, feeling safe and warm in his arms.

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Another downer, I know

 


	10. T E N

Our cuddling was interrupted by a nurse coming in with her cart, followed by a doctor.

"Here, let me give you some privacy." I said, starting to sit up.

"It's fine, baby.  Don't worry." he said, patting my arm. 

"Mr. Jung, I have some good news for you!  It looks like the bruising on your internal organs are healing up nicely.  The infection is gone, there is now no residual bleeding and you should be able to be discharged in a couple of days." the doctor said, giving him a big smile.

"Seriously?! I get to get out of here?" Hoseok asked, his smile wide.

"It looks that way.  You will still need to come in for periodic check-ups to make sure there are no further complications down the line, but all in all, you look good.  I would just wait a few more weeks fore you begin dance practice again." she replied.  He grinned and hugged me, letting out a huge sigh.

"I get to go home." he said softly.

"You get to go home." I repeated, rubbing his back.  In a matter of moments, he started to go rigid and I felt him shiver.  I pulled back to see his face twisted in sorrow and worry.

"What's wrong, Hobi?" I asked, rubbing his arm, trying to sooth him.

"I-I haven't been h-home since...since it all happened.  I don't know if I want to go back there to an e-empty house." he sighed. 

"I am sure that's going to be hard." I said, holding his hand.

"Will you...will you come with me?" he asked, biting his lip.

"If you want me there, I will be there." I answered.  He leaned forward and kissed me softly, making the nurse behind him giggle.  I flushed and so did he as he turned onto his back.

"Sorry." he muttered, looking embarrassed.

"Don't be.  It's not often you get to see young love like this out of such horrible circumstances.  I am glad to see you smile." She said, grinning at him.  He looked at me fondly, running his fingers through my hair.

"Hobi, I don't want to go back to grief counseling." I said, sitting up slightly.

"Why?"he asked, his brow furrowed slightly.

"Because. You make me happy.  We were happy and fine all weekend together until we has to do stuff for counseling and until we had to go to a session.  I don't need them, I only need you." I sighed. 

"How about we at least go one last time to tell them we are not coming back?" He suggested as he lifted his hips and pulled down his pants for the nurse to check his wounds. 

"It looks like they are healing well! No more signs of infection, and the stitches can come out." She smiled.Hoseok looked a little nervous as she was getting ready so I started talking to him to distract him.

"So, since I can leave already, do you want me to do anything for you before you get out?" I asked.

"Uhm...no I don't think so." he said, still staring at the syringe she was filling with medication.

"What about clothes? Do you have any to leave here in?" I asked, grabbing his hand.

"Oh. No, I don't have clothes." he said, looking over at me.

"I can get you some. Just let me know what size you are and I will pick you up something." I replied.

"You don't have to do that! I have clothes at home, I can drive home in the ones I came in." he replied.

"I am not sure that would be possible Mr. Jung. We had to cut you out of your pants when you came in." the nurse replied, drawing Hoseok's attention back that direction. He winced and gripped at the sheets as she injected his hip.

"Don't worry about it Hobi. I don't mind. Let me do this for you." I responded as he squeezed my hand.

"Thank you, babe." he said, giving me a smile, though he winced.

"What kind of clothing do you like?" I asked, now slightly excited about seeing him in something other than hospital clothes.

"I will wear whatever you bring me." he replied.

"You are no help at all." I laughed as he winked at me. After the nurse had finished, she left the room and I looked away as Hoseok pulled his bottoms back up. I don't know why I was looking away, considering everything from the other night. But really I only felt him, I never saw him since we were under the sheet, so I guess the thought of seeing him just made me nervous.

"So where do you want to go on our first date?" he asked, patting the bed beside me.

"I will go wherever you want to bring me." I smirked as I climbed on the bed.

"You aren't any help either." he laughed, grabbing at my sides, tickling me mercilessly. I squirmed and giggled on the bed until he eventually had mercy, resting his hands on my sides. He ran one hand down to my hip and around to my ass, biting his lip. I swallowed and felt my heart thrumming hard as he squeezed his hand, making me stifle a gasp. He stared into my eyes deeply before leaning forward and kissing me passionately.

"You are so incredible." he breathed, resting his forehead against mine.

"So are you." I smiled, staring down at his swollen lips.  He wrapped me up and kissed on my neck, making me let out a little groan, gripping his shirt in my fist.

"Ok, I have to stop before I get carried away." he laughed, pulling back and closing his eyes.  I could see him starting to get aroused as he rolled onto his back, letting out a slow breath.

"I don't mind if you get carried away." I grinned, feeling like squeezing my legs together to stop the feeling tingling below my waist.

"Don't tempt me, baby.  I don't want our first night to be in a hospital bed.  I want it to be after we have had a nice dinner together, maybe taking a walk together, holding your hand the time the whole time.  Then cuddling together under a blanket on the bench in my yard while watching the stars until your beauty distracts me so much that I can't help but wanting to take you inside in my arms and make love to you all night." he said, leaning back into me and cupping my face in one of his hands. 

"Oh, Hoseok.  I can't wait."

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Sorry it's so delayed!!

 

 


	11. E L E V E N

I browsed through the clothes in the store, trying to find something I think he would really like.  This was my first gift to him, so I wanted it to be really nice.  I wound up picking out a long sleeved blue shirt, a black leather jacket, a pair of ripped blue jeans and black boots.  I decided to add a black and white plaid scarf and a black cap, along with a pair of sunglasses.  I knew he was probably going to fuss at me, but I can imagine what he would look like in these clothes, and it was just making me want to imagine him taking them off.

  He was going to be discharged today, and he couldn't be more excited.  We also were going to our last counceling session, and that was definitely going to be a weight lifted off of both of our shoulders.  I carried the shopping bags under my arms as I walked into his room, making him widen his eyes as he dropped the towel he was drying his hair with.

"Yah! What is all this?!" he asked, looking at the bags as I sat them on the bed.

"This is your outfit to leave the hospital.  If you don't like it, I can exchange it." I said, smiling. 

"I'm sure whatever is in there is fine, but this is way too much!  There are like five bags here!" he said, shaking his head.

"And?  I wanted to do it, so just accept it and kiss me." I said, leaning over the bed.  He smiled at me and kissed me softly, grinning into the kiss.

"Thank you, baby." he said, letting out a soft sigh.

"Now, I will leave you to get changed." I replied, turning to leave.

"Why?  Just stay!  I am not getting naked, so no need to be so nervous." he grinned.  I closed the door and swallowed, leaning on the back of it.  I watched him with hunger in my eyes as I saw him unbutton and peel off his shirt, revealing his beautifully toned torso.  I bit my lip as he reached for the hem of his pants, pulling them down, leaving him in just his boxer briefs.  I shifted slightly as I felt my body get hot.  I felt the increase in my pulse as I watched him pull on the form fitting jeans, sending a shiver up my spine.  I borderline drooled as he put on everything except the sunglasses and the scarf.

"You look...really...really hot." I said, giggling.  He blushed slightly as he gathered the empty bags.

"Well you have really good taste!  I like this all so much." he said, looking at himself in the mirror on the front of the bathroom door.

"I'm glad you like it." I grinned.  I heard a knock on the door behind me, making me stand up and walk over toward Hoseok.  We were greeted by the doctor with a bag full of medication bottles.

"Well Mr. Jung, I am happy to say that you are officially discharged from this hospital.  Now, all your medication is in here.  Some you will need to be on for a while, some I set you up with tapering doses so you don't go cold turkey.  If you have any extreme side effects from withdrawals, make sure you contact us immediately." the doctor smiled, handing him the bag. 

"Thank you so much, for everything." he said to the doctor, bowing low to her.   After she left we gathered the few items he had from the room and walked together down the hall.

"Do you...do you want to meet my mother?  I was going to say goodbye to her before we head to counciling since we are leaving straight after." I said, stopping right before her door.  He swallowed and looked at the empty doorway and then back at me.

"I-I don't know.  What would she s-say about me stealing her daughters first kiss?" he said, fidgeting.

"First, she will be fine with it because she knows I am sleeping in the same room as you.  Secondly, she encouraged us to spend time together, so she will be happy to meet you. But if you don't feel comfortable, I won't make you." I said, smiling.  He wiped his hands on his jeans and nodded as I offered him my hand.  He gripped it as I led us into my mother's room, her eyes lighting up at the sight of us.

"Eomma, this is Hoseok.  I know you have heard alot about him but I want you to meet him." I said, standing next to her bed.  She put out her hand as Hoseok took it gently. She shook it and beamed at him.

"It is so nice to meet you, and with a smile on your face!" she said, patting the back of his hand with her other hand.

"It's nice to meet you too, ma'am." he replied.  

"We can't stay long Eomma.  We have to get down to the session, but I just wanted to say that I will be back to see you tomorrow." I said, leaning over the edge of the bed and kissing her cheek.

"Alright darling.  Please be safe." she said, putting a little tiny bit of emphasis on the last word, hopefully not enough for him to pick up on.

"I will.  Love you." I said, squeezing her hand one more time.

"Love you too, and nice to meet you again Hoseok."  she smiled.

"You too." he smiiled back, blushing slightly.  We held hands again as we walked to the elevator, silently holding each other.  As we stood there, waiting for it to come to the bottom floor, he ran his thumb back and forth softly over the back of my hand.  I looked over and smiled at him, as I lifted our hands and kissed the back of his. 

"God, I can't get enough of you." he said, grinning ear to ear.

"I feel the same." I said, squeezing his hand.  As we walked into the session that was already in progress, sitting next to each other, still holding hands.  We both were very quiet during the session, listening to the other two who were still attending, talking about how they were dealing with the world now that their loved one wasn't there anymore.  When all was said and done, Hoseok cleared his throat and let out a sigh.

"We just wanted to let you know that we won't be continuing to attend sessions.  We both feel like we are healing well without them, and I am being discharged today.   But thank you for bringing us together." he said, smiling at the group leader.  She sighed and looked back and forth between us and then down at our hands.

"I of course, respect your decision, however I need to warn you of something.  You both really should keep attending, but if you choose not to, please be mindful of what I am about to tell you.  You both may feel like you are healing well and even rapidly right now because you have each other to lean on.  While that is important, please be cautious.  It can go from being a crutch to help you through this difficult time, to crippling you from truly healing by staying distracted.  Please make sure you are not just using each other as a distraction.  But sincerely, the best of luck to both of you." she said, looking back and forth still.  We both bid them goodbye and walked out of the session, never letting go of each other's hands.  We were both fairly quiet as we stood in entryway of the hospital, him staring outside.

"Are you ok?" I asked, searching his face for some kind of emotion to give away what he might have been thinking.

"This will be the first time I have been outside in a month." he sighed, just staring outside.  I pulled the scarf out of the bag and put it around his neck, kissing him quickly.

"Well it's a little chilly, so you might need this." I said, smiling at him.  His face spread into a big grin as he leaned forward and kissed me deeper for a moment.  He put his sunglasses on and squeezed my hand, letting out a happy sigh.

"Let's go."

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	12. T W E L V E

 

Hoseok hesitated as he stood outside the car. He looked up at the hospital one more time before letting out a sigh. I got into the driver seat as he opened the passenger door slowly. He sat down and looked over at me, looking nervous.

"Is there anywhere you would like to go before we go to your house?" I asked, turning the GPS on. He shook his head and looked at the screen.

"Here, let me put in my address." he said, typing in a place that was only a few streets down from mine.

"Wow, we live close to one another." I said, starting the car up.

"Really? You will have to show me where you live one day." he smiled, taking his sunglasses off.

"I will. Now, let's get you home." I said as I started to pull out of the hospital. As I started to drive down the road, I saw Hoseok shifting in his seat. He rubbed his hands up and down the tops of his thighs, staring out the windshield. As we turned onto the main road, he started shifting even more. I noticed him breathing heavier out of the corner of my eye. I felt bad, realizing he was probably anxious to get home. The closer we got, the more he seemed to stiffen, making me worry a little bit. As we pulled onto another road, he started gasping for air.

"Hoseok?!" I asked, glancing over at him. He was sweating profusely, his hands shaking. He gripped at the seat, almost hyperventilating. I quickly pulled over to the shoulder and put the car in park, turning it off. I turned to face him, taking hands in mine.

"Hobi, breathe. Breathe, ok?" I said, holding his hands. He still gasped, his eyes wide and looking terrified.

"I ca- I can't!" he choked out, tears streaming down his face as he stared at out the windshield.

"Babe, look at me. Don't look outside, look at me." I said in a firm tone, as he still gasped for air. He glanced at me but then back out at the road, his body shaking. I put both hands on his cheeks and pulled him to face me.

"Hobi, I need you to breathe. Here-,"I said, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on my chest," feel me breathing. Feel how my chest is going in and out. Can you do that for me?"

"O-ok." he cried. He stared into my eyes with tears still streaming down his face. I made sure to exaggerate my breaths, dragging them slowly in and out. He then looked down at his hand on my chest and stared at it while gradually slowing his breathing.

"That's right, babe. Just keep doing that." I said in a calming tone, putting my hand over his. When his breath finally slowed down he looked up at me before bursting into sobs. I leaned over the console, pulling his head onto my shoulder. He kept his hand on my chest, letting out heart breaking sobs.

"I'm s-s-s-orry." he wailed, making my chest tighten.

"Sweetheart you have nothing to be sorry for. It's ok. Whatever it is, it's ok." I replied, taking my free hand and wiping his cheek. He lifted his head and looked at me, sniffling and trying to calm his crying.

"It's just.......this is.....the road.....she died on." he said, biting his lip. I held my breath, trying to keep from crying for him, knowing the heartache he must be feeling at this moment.

"How about we just don't go down this way anymore, ok?" I said, cupping his cheek. He nodded as he let out a slow, shuddering breath. We sat there like that for several minutes until all his tears dried up and his eyes fluttered closed.

"Your heart is beating so fast." he said softly, his hand still on my chest.

"You make it beat fast." I said, as he opened his eyes and looked at me, staring into my eyes. I took his hand off of my chest and laced his fingers in mine.

"Can we go home now?" he asked, his voice still a little hoarse from sobbing.

"Of course. Let me get you home now." I said, starting up the car. I turned the car back on, and pulled away slowly. Hoseok leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes the rest of the way, which thankfully wasn't far. His house was smaller and very beautiful. It looked like it could have been on the cover of a magazine the way the landscaping was kept. The grass was getting a little longer and there were some weeds starting to show signs of spring and neglect, sprouting from the flower beds. Hoseok opened the door a got out of the car. I got out as well as he leaned against the car, looking up at the house. I walked around and leaned next to him, grabbing his hand. He looked at me and quickly pushed off the car and pressed me into it. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me softly yet passionately. I whimpered as his tongue explored my mouth, feeling my body go on edge. As he pressed hard into me, I could feel him start to get aroused. I grinded into his body slightly, making him grunt into the kiss. After a minute or two more of the intense makeout session, he pulled back and stared into my eyes.

"That group leader didn't know what she was talking about." He said, soundingslightly out of breath.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to figure out what he was referencing.

"You are not a crutch or a distraction. You can't be a distraction if you are my focus." He said softly.

"Oh, Hobi. What did I do to deserve you?" I smiled, kissing him softly. He smiled at me big and held my hand in his.

"Come on, let's go inside." He replied, leading me down the path.

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I love his hair like this

 


	13. T H I R T E E N

As we walked in the front door, we were greeted by an eerily quiet house.  When he turned on the closest light,  you could see a thin layer of dust covering the hard surfaces of the nicely decorated home.

"Well, this is it." He shrugs, as I follow him into the living room.

"You have a very nice home." I said quietly. I couldn't help but feel a knot in my stomach when I noticed a framed picture of Hoseok and his mom on the side table.

"Thank you.  You want to see the rest of it?" He asked, taking off everything but his pants and shirt.

"Sure." I replied, taking his outstretched hand.  He walked me around the rest of the house, skipping one closed door that I assumed to be his mother's room.  I wasn't going to ask, I just let him lead me around, eventually ending in his room.

"I know it's kind of last minute, but I kinda wanted to see if you wanted to go out tonight to dinner." he said as he stopped walking and turned around to face me.  I smiled big and wrapped my arms around his waist as I laid my head against his shoulder.

"I would love to." I said, squeezing him tightly.  He giggled as he kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around my back softly. 

"I know that is not until a little later, so is there anything you need to get done around here or want me to help with?" I asked, leaning my head back.

"The only thing I really need to do today is some cleaning around here.  As you can see, not being home for a month can take it's toll." he said, looking around at his room.  I let go of him and rolled up my sleeves.

"Let me help!" I offered, grinning at him.  He smiled and shook his head at me.

"We haven't even had our official first date yet and you are already willing to clean my house.  You are something else." he giggled, rolling up his own sleeves.

"Where do you want to start?" I asked, looking around.

"The most pressing and disgusting thing I have to do is clean out the refrigerator.  I don't want you to do that though, that is going to be pretty nasty." he responded as I followed him back out into the kitchen. 

"Where are your rubber gloves?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.  He just shook his head and reached under the sink, grabbing out two pairs as well as some face masks and a couple of trash bags.

"You don't have to do this, you know.  I still like you anyway." he laughed, putting the mask on.

"I know, but you can't do all this by yourself.  Plus, I don't care what we are doing, I still get to spend time with you so it makes me happy." I covered my cheesy grin with my facemask and slipped on my gloves.

"Well, I will makes sure we have an amazing dinner tonight." he replied, his voice slightly muffled by the mask.  It took us a while but we managed to clean out the fridge, dust down all the surfaces of the house, do a load of laundray and sweep/mop/vaccum the whole house.  By time we were done, we had both worked up a bit of a sweat and felt pretty gross.  I got my change of clothes out of my car and we both got ready for our date.  Despite everything we had gone through together, I was still nervous about the date. 

***

"I've never been here before." I said as we followed the hostess to our seat by the window. 

"I only have once.  I actually took my mom out here for her birthday last year." he replied with a soft smile. We had a delicious and romantic dinner, over which we told each other several funny stories.  A lot of his stories had something to do with his mother, who sounded like as happy and bright of a person as he was. I was so proud of him.  He was telling me all these stories that had to do with his mother, and he didn't cry, not once.  I, of course, didn't want to draw his attention to it, but I guess that meant he was truly starting to heal.   After dinner, we went for a short walk, talking and laughing like I hadn't laughed in a long time.  He truly was becoming the best part of my life.  As we finished our walk, he led me out back to the garden and sat me on the bench outside his house.  He wrapped his arm around me as I leaned on him and then felt stiff suddenly.  The words he told me started ringing in my head, about how he wanted our first time to go.  He mentioned dinner, walking, stargazing and then....I shivered slightly.  I looked at him, unable to keep the smile off of my face.  He was looking up at the sky, a soft smile on his face, a bright look in his eye.  My heart felt so full and warm as I stared at him, and all I wanted was to hold him close to me.  I put my hand on his cheek, drawing his attention.

"What is it, babe?" he asked softly, his voice deep and smoky.  It was like it ignited something in me, making me want to squirm.  I allowed this to be my boost of confidence and got up, straddling his lap.  His eyes went wide as he swallowed, looking me up and down. 

"Hoseok, you are something really special, do you know that?" I asked, locking my hands behind his neck.

"You think so?" he asked breathlessly.  I nodded and rested my forehead against his and leaned in kissing him softly. 

"I know so." I replied, smiling.  He put his hands on my lower back and pulled me into him more, biting his lip.  I kissed him again, only this time I sucked on his bottom lip a little, causing him to let out a groan.  He probed his tongue into my mouth, making me moan as well, running my hands over his shoulders and down onto his chest.  I could feel him getting aroused underneath me, making me want him even more.  I moved my fingers gently over his chest until I hit one of his nipples, making him gasp. I felt him harden even more as I slid my other hand around his chest, finding his other nipple and running my fingertip over it.  He let out a whimper as I felt him shift underneath me, his tongue desparately searching my mouth.  His hands slid down my back and now gripped my ass, squeezing it.  I let out a moan into his open mouth as I grinded down onto him.  He broke the kiss to throw his head back and let out a harsh breath.  He started working with me, grinding up into me as I moved on him.  I pinched his nipples slightly, making him moan out loud. 

"Baby, let's take this inside." he growled. 

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 **Sorry, this** **chapter** **is rubbish! Lol**

 


	14. F O U R T E E N

Hosek turned on a lamp as we got into his bedroom, making me suddenly nervous. He didn't waste another moment as he crawled onto the bed, and laid on his side, patting next to him. I nodded and crawled up the bed, grinning slightly, trying to be more confident than I felt. I laid on my side, facing him as he pulled up close to me, slipping one of his legs inbetween mine. Without another word said, he kissed me tenderly, not full of lust and want, but gently and full of passion. He placed a hand on my cheek and ran his thumb back and forth as he kissed me, making my heart beat harder with each passing moment. It started gradually getting more heated, eventually slipping his tongue into my mouth. I let out a gasp, as I felt his erection dig into me, making me tremble with want.

"Hobi.." I breathed between kisses, as his hands started move down the side of my body and back down around my ass.

"Yeah, baby?" he asked as he started kissing on my neck. I let out a slight moan as he started sucking near my collar bone.

"I want you." I groaned, grinding slightly into his leg. He let out a sharp breath as I moved my leg inbetween his, pressing against his erection.

"I want you too." he grunted. I pressed him back onto the matress and straddled his lap, making him smile.

"Are you feeling good?" I asked, moving my hips slightly, grinding against his erection. He leaned his head back into the pillow, grunted as I continued to move back and forth.

"Mmmm yeah, that feels good." he breathed, putting his hands on my hips as I grinded a little harder. I could feel myself getting wetter with lust as I felt his hardness rubbing against my core. I felt myself trembling with anticipation as his hands drifted under the edge of my shirt. He traced patterns on my bare skin, leaving fire in their wake. I decided to be as brave as I could, gripping the bottom of my shirt and slipping it over my head, followed by removing my bra, letting my breasts free. I felt him buck up into me as he bit his lip, his eyes drinking in my bare skin.

"My God, you are so beautiful." he breathed, his hands skimming my torso, raising chills along my skin. I trembled as he quickly leaned up, pressing my back into the mattress, leaning over me. I reached my hands for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up as much as I could. He helped me and leaned up, pulling it over his head, tossing it aside. He started kissing down my chest, leaving hickies around my breasts. I groaned and moved around underneath him, causing me to rub his bulge against me.

"MMMnnn Hobi!" I groaned as he brushed the tip of his tongue over my sensitive nipple, arching my back.

"I'm so hard right now." he breathed, suckling on my nipple and pinching the other in his fingertips.

"I'm so ready for you!" I moaned, writhing around underneath him.

"Are you sure you want to go....further?" He breathed, his hands trembling a little.

"I'm nervous, but I am ready. I want you, all of you." I said, my own body feeling on pins and needles. We were both so eager, but it was nice to know I wasn't the only nervous one. He swallowed and leaned up onto his knees, gripping at his belt shakily. I put my hand over his, gripping it together.

"Are you sure you want to go further?" I asked, looking at him in his beautifully warm eyes.

"I do. I really really do. I'm just a little afraid I'll fuck something up." he laughed nervously. I moved his hands and slowly started to unbuckle his belt.

"I don't think that is possible. Oppa, I want you, so whatever we do, it will be perfect." I smiled, reaching for the button on his jeans. My mind, my heart and my body were all screaming for him. I unbuttoned them and reached for the zipper, tugging it down slowly. As I did, his restricted hardness sprung loose, making a large tent in his boxers, a few small wet spots decorating the front of them. He got off of the bed and stood there, letting his jeans fall to the floor.

"Ah shit." he said, gripping at his cock.

"What is it baby?" I asked, lifting my ass off of the bed and sliding my jeans down my legs. He stopped talking for a minute and just stared at me, his dick pulsing and a new wet spot appearing.

"I don't have any condoms." he said, biting his lip. I felt a little disappointment, but decided to use this lust in another way. I got up on my knees and motioned for him to get on the bed, which he quickly complied. We both kneeled on the bed, locking into a passionate kiss. I felt his dick rub me through our thin underclothes. I pushed more onto him, causing him to lean back onto the bed, pulling his legs out from underneath him. I leaned back up and reached for the hem of his boxers, pulling them down ever so slowly. His large erection sprung free, falling against his stomach. My eyes widened and I felt myself throb at seeing it finally. I knew he was big from what I could tell last time, but actually seeing it was enough to make me want him inside me. It was pulsing, the tip was flushed, wet with precum. I gripped the base in my hand and gently started to give light licks to the head.

"Ungh fuck." he groaned, his body trembling. I had watched porn before so I knew how this was done, but it was something I wasn't sure I would do right. I wanted to make sure this was perfect for him. I flattened my tongue and ran it from the base all the way up to the tip, making him stare down at me, his mouth hanging open.

"Is this good babe?" I asked, kissing the under side of his pulsing dick, sucking right below the head.

"You're so good!" he moaned, gripping my hair and moving it out of the way so he could watch. I closed my lips over his head and swirled my tongue around it, making him let out a string of curses. I felt his body tensing as his free hand gripped the sheet. I slowly started taking as much of him in my mouth as I could. I hummed around him, making him thrust into my mouth. He hit the back of my throat, making me gag slightly, tears coming to the corner of my eyes.

"God, you ok baby?" he asked through a grunt. I nodded slightly and hummed in response, making him moan. I started increasing the pace as I traced small circles over his balls, feeling him throb in my mouth.

"Fuck baby, just like that." he moaned, slightly thrusting into my mouth. I dragged my fingertip underneath his balls, causing him to gasp and stiffen his body. He whimpered as I pulled most of him out of my mouth, flicking the head and sticking my tongue into his slit.

"Y-you're gonna m-make me cum!" he groaned as his fist tightened on the sheets. He pulled my hair a little bit as I plunched him deep in my throat, gagging slightly. He thrusted, groaning loudly. I went faster, softly tracing his balls with my fingers.

"Ohhhh shit! Baby!!! I'm gonna cum!" he said, trying to pull me off of him. I plunged him into my throat further, moaning around him, making him release inside my mouth. I swallowed the bittersweet taste of him, continuing to suck as he moaned loudly, arching his back. His body relaxed as he came down from his high, me letting him pop out of my mouth as he started softening.

"Was that ok?" I asked, wiping the saliva from my lips.

"That was the most amazing orgasm I have ever had in my life." he breathed, chuckling slightly. I laid up beside him, placing soft, gentle kisses on his shoulder.

"I really liked doing that." I giggled, biting my lip. He smirked at me as he pulled his boxers over his softening dick and got up on his hands and knees.

"My turn, baby. " he growled, crawling down in between my legs. He spread them apart and started kissing my inner thighs, sucking on the skin and leaving marks behind. I stared down at him nervously as he drug one finger across the moist lacy crotch of my panties.

"Damn, you're so wet for me baby girl." He smiled, making me let out a shuddering breath.

"All for you, oppa." I smiled back. He slipped my panties to the side and placed gentle kisses on my wetness, making me squirm.

"Mmmm are you ready for this?" He asked, biting his lip. I nodded and he immediately plunged his tongue into me. I gasped and groaned loudly, gripping and twisting the sheets in my hands.

"H-Hoseok! Oh m-my God!" I cried, as he rolled his tongue over my clit.

"Mmmm, is that good baby?" He said with his mouth still against me.

"Yeeessss! Please, don't stop!" I called out, gripping at his hair. He groaned as he slipped two fingers inside me, pressing into my wet and tight walls. I could barely stay still as he started sliding them in and out at the same rhythm he licked me. He stared up at me with such intensity in his eyes, making my stomach start to tighten and my walls clench around his fingers.

"You're so tight, baby. You want to cum for me, don't you?" he asked before starting to suck on my swollen and sensitive clit. I couldn't even answer him verbally as uncontrolled groans poured from my mouth. I nodded fast, feeling that heat blooming in my stomach, letting me know I was close. He winked at me as he started curling his fingers more, hitting a sensitive spot inside me. That was all it took to send me into a blinding orgasm, wracking my whole body with pleasure. I arched my back and called out a garbled version of his name, yanking on the sheets and writhing beneath him. I collapsed back into the bed, panting, my body shaking from the stimulation. He lifted his head and sucked his fingers clean before wiping his mouth off and crawling up toward me.

"That was beyond anything I could ever imagine. Thank you Hobi." I said, still feeling out of breath and slightly hoarse from the yelling.

"I'm glad it was good for you. You sounded so hot I got hard again." he chuckled, plopping on the pillow next to me. I looked at him and raised my eyebrows, getting a slightly mischevious grin on my face.

"Well, we can't have that, now can we?" I grinned, resting my hand on his erection. We spent several more hours, repeating this cycle until we both collapsed, falling into a deep sleep while wrapped in each other's arms.

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	15. F I F T E E N

 

For the next several weeks, Hoseok and I were together practically every day.  I would leave for a while during the day and go spend time with my mother at the hospital, but other than that, I was usually with him.  My mother's condition had actually improved quite a bit and the doctors were confindent that she would be released soon.  Hobi and I still hadn't had sex, but that was ok with both of us.  We still had a few...ok quite a lot of passionate nights, it just didn't lead to full on sex. I had actually gotten on birth control ahead of time, just to be extra safe when the time came.  I knew it would be soon, but neither of us were in any rush.  I started daydreaming about it while I was at my house doing my laundry when my phone rang.

"Oppa!" I squealed into the phone.   I heard him lauging on the other end, making me smile like crazy.

" _Wow, I was not expecting that."_

"Well, since you are laughing, I'm hoping that's a good thing." I replied, folding the last of my final load.

" _Of course."_

"Ok, good" I laughed.

_"So, I have some exciting news I wanted to share with you."_

"Sure babe!  What is it?" I asked, carrying my basket while holding the phone up with my shoulder.

" _Well, I don't want to tell you on the phone.  I want it to wait until you get home, so_ _I'm_ _calling_ _to check when that will be."_

"Ok, I am just finishing up the laundry and I will be back in probably about thirty minutes." I replied.

_"That sounds good baby.  Miss you, can't wait to see you."_

"Me too.  Bye Hobi." I smiled, hanging up the phone.  I hurried up and got my bags together before heading out the door.  It was nice that he only lived a few minutes away from me.  It really is crazy how someone can be so near you your whole life, and you never know it until one day they just happen to appear in front of you, changing everything.  I knocked on the door and walked in, closing it behind me.  Hoseok said he didn't even want me knocking, he just wanted me to come in, but I still didn't feel comfortable just walking in.

"Hobi, I'm here!" I called out.  He walked out of the bedroom in only sweats, towel drying his hair.  I swallowed and smiled, walking over to him, giving him a soft kiss.

"Let me help you with those, babe." he said, grabbing one of the bags from me.

"Thanks!  So, what is your big news?" I asked, putting the bags down in the bedroom.

"I got into a studio!!!  They are taking me on as an instructor to start and possibly a future choreographer as well." he said, practically beaming.

"Oh my God! Hoseok, that's fantastic!" I exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around me, picking me up and spinning me around.

"I am so excited!  And it's all thanks to you!" he said, kissing my cheek as he put me back on my feet.

"What?  How in the world can you say that?" I asked, laughing.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have even went for that interview.  You have been supporting me and encouraging me this whole time, and it blows my mind that I found someone like you.  I guess, what I'm trying to say is...I know we haven't technically made anything official, but I want to know if you officially want to be my girlfriend." he said, actually looking slightly nervous.  I couldn't help but smile as my heart thrummed heavily and the butterflies in my stomach must have been doing somersaults. 

"Of course.  I have the sweetest, hottest, most talented and amazing boyfriend ever." I giggled, giving him a small peck.  He giggled and held me closer, kissing me deeper and stronger, running his hands down his back.  I placed my hand on his bare chest, running them slowly up and down until he pulled away from the kiss.

"We have to celebrate!  Let's go out to dinner, my treat!" I said, patting his chest.

"Ok!  Let me just get dressed." he replied as he let go of me and walked by me, smacking my ass.  I laughed and tried not to drool as he got ready, admiring my gorgeous boyfriend.

*****

"You are impossible!" Hoseok laughed, shaking his head.

"You know you like it!" I winked at him, taking a bite of my pasta.

"I do.  I like everything about you." he grinned.  I felt myself flush as I placed a hand over one of my cheeks.  He giggled and reached over, grabbing my hand and holding it in his.

"You are adorable, don't hide." he smiled, squeezing my hand.

"Stop!  You're making me blush!" I replied, still wanting to hide my face.

"I know, I want to see." he giggled.  I don't know what I did to deserve someone so kind.  I was really enjoying our dinner, smiling at more of the crazy stories that Hoseok was telling me.

"Y/n, is that you?" I heard from behind me.  I froze still at the voice, feeling my stomach churn.  I saw Hoseok look up to someone behind me who walked over beside our table into my field of vision. 

"Oh, h-hi Jaebum." I said, biting my lip, and standing up to greet him.  He hugged me tightly to him, making me start to hurt inside.

"Hey, it's....it's good to see you.  I haven't seen you since....well...you know." he said softly, giving me a sad smile.

"Yeah.  I haven't been able to bring myself to come back to the studio yet." I said, giving him a soft smile.

"I'm sure.  It has been very difficult.  Sometimes I can't stand being there because his presence is so strong." He said, sounding as pained as I felt. 

"Oh, where are my manners?  Jaebum, this is my boyfriend, Hoseok.  Hoseok, this is Jaebum.  He was my brother's best friend." I said, motioning to Hobi.  He stood up and offered his hand with a warm smile.

"Boyfriend?  Did Jinyoung know about him?" Jaebum looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

"No, we didn't meet until...until after." I said softly.

"Ah, I see.  Well, I guess I will have to step in and be big brother and say that you better take care of her. " he said, still shaking Hoseok's hand.

"Trust me, I will. She is so special, I would never do anything to hurt her." he replied, looking over at me with a smile. 

"I'm glad to hear it.  If he ever gives you trouble, you just let me know." he winked at me.  Hoseok looked nervous, but I grabbed his hand and held it in mine.

"I don't think that would ever happen, but thanks all the same JB." I laughed. 

"I better get back to my family, but it was good to see you, and I'm even happier to see you smiling." he said, patting my arm.

"It's good to see you too." I replied.

"Nice to meet you, Hoseok." JB said, shaking his free hand.

"You too." he answered.  We sat back down and I let out a sigh, feeling a little shaky.

"Are you ok?" Hoseok asked, squeezing my hand.

"I think so.  That was just hard.  Seeing his face immediately made me hurt, thinking about Jinyoung.  I am in pain, but with you by my side, it helps so much." I said, trying not to get upset.  I was going to do this, I was going to be strong. 

"You ready to go home baby?" he asked softly.  I nodded and we got up and left the restaurant.  Even with as much pain as I currently felt, I had to say that I do believe that Hoseok was truly helping me heal little by little.

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**I actually answered** **my** **phone** **by squealing Oppa the last** **time** **my bf called and that** **was** **his reaction lol**

 


	16. S I X T E E N

  
"Alright, alright stop fussing over me!" my mom said as she shooed me away from her.

"I can't help it!  You haven't been home in over two months!" I smiled, making sure she was settled on the sofa.

"Don't worry, she will be fine." my father replied, beaming as he sat next to her.  He was so happy to have her back home where she belonged.  I was extremely happy that she was home, but it truly was a bittersweet feeling.  This was the first time we were together at home as a family again, but yet it would always feel incomplete.  I left and headed back down the hallway, stopping outside Jinyoung's closed bedroom door.  I placed my hand flat on the wood, resting my forehead against it.  My heart felt heavy as I let my hand slide down to the doorknob, swallowing the lump in my throat as I turned it.  As I slowly opened the door, my senses were flooded with my brother.  His clothes were thrown around the room, and his bed still sat there unmade.  There was a worn notebook on his desk with scribbles all over the pages filled with song lyrics he had written.  I picked up that notebook and held it to my chest as I walked around the room, tears in my eyes.  I ran my hand softly over the clothes hanging in his closet, wrapping the long sleeve of one of the shirts around me, and rested my face against the fabric.  It still faintly smelled like him.

"Jinyoung, I miss you so much." I whispered.  I wished more than anything I could just hug him one more time.  I put the notebook back on his desk and started to pick up and fold the clothes that were around on the floor.  I stacked them in a pile on the dresser and then made his bed, all while tears were streaming down my face.  I grabbed the notebook again and clutched it to my chest as I sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Do you have any idea how much we miss you?  How much I miss you?  I can't believe you really left me." I said softly, sniffling as I wiped my face on the back of my hand.

"What are you doing?" I heard my dad's voice say from the doorway.  I looked up to see him standing there staring at me.

"I miss him." I said, my voice breaking.  He walked in the room, looking around quickly, his eyes wide.

"What did you do?!?" he shouted, getting close to me.  He sounded so angry, it frightened me.

"I just c-cleaned up a bit." I said softly, looking around at the floor now empty of clothing.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!  HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HIS ROOM?!  NOW IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!" he screamed, grabbing my forearms.

"I'm sorry!  I didn't mean-" I was cut off my a sting on my cheek as my father slapped my cheek.  I held my hand up to my face as I ran out of the room, still clutching the notebook to my chest.  I didn't even stop to get shoes as I ran out of the house and to my car, sobbing.  I quickly pulled my keys from my pocket and started up the car, pulling away and flooring it to Hoseok's house.  When I got there I ran into the house, closing the door behind me and leaning against it, breathing heavily.

"Babe, you home?" he called from the hallway.  As he came out to the living room his face immediately fell, seeing the state I was in.   He walked over quickly and cupped my face gently, eyeing my cheek.

"What happened?  Who did this to you?" he asked, his forehead wrinkled in concern. 

"My f-father. He's never hit me before. Not ever." I said between sobs.  He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his chest as I cried into his neck.

"Why would he do something like that to you?" he asked, patting my back and rubbing it soothingly.

"I went in Jinyoung's room for the first time and it was so messy.  I just folded the clothes that were on the floor and made his bed.  He came in and saw me sitting on his bed and screamed at me for touching his room." I said, my heart aching with every word I spoke.

"Come on baby." he said as he picked me up and carried me to the couch.  He sat down with me on his lap, still holding me tightly to him. 

"Hobi..." I breathed, still trying to get myself together.

"What's this you have here?" he asked, tapping the notebook I still clutched tightly between us.

"It is Jinyoung's.   He has songs he has written in here, and this was his most prized posession.  His music meant so much to him and I couldn't leave it there." I sniffled as I placed the notebook on the coffee table gently.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry you are hurting.  I am sorry that happened with your father." he said, rocking me slightly.  I sat there quietly for a while as he just held me to him warmly.  I started to become more calm as more time passed and I was able to think a little more rationally.

"I think my father was just grieving.  He has been so busy with taking care of everything while my mom has been in the hospital, that he hasn't had time to breathe, let alone think.  I think now that my mom is home, he took a second to breathe, and he is starting to grieve." I said, holding one hand to my warm and slightly swollen cheek.

"You may be right.  It still doesn't excuse what he did to you, but I am glad you are able to see it in that light.  You know he loves you.  He's probably just hurting like you are, and maybe he doesn't know how to express it properly.  Just always remember that he does love you." Hoseok said, squeezing me and kissing my forehead. 

"I don't deserve you." I said softly, kissing him on the cheek.

"Don't say that.  You deserve so much more.  You are an amazing person, and I love you." he said, cupping my face. My heart felt like it stopped as I looked into his eyes.  My stomach flopped around with so many butterflies it felt like they would come pouring out of my mouth if I tried to talk.  But I knew I had to...I had to say it now or I might not have the courage later.

"Hoseok, I love you too." I replied in a breathy voice.  He smiled ear to ear, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against mine.

"You don't have to say it just because I did." he responded, still grinning.

"I didn't.  I do love you, really." I answered, after which I pressed my lips to his.  We kissed each other for a moment before just holding onto each other tightly, never wanting to let go.

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	17. S E V E N T E E N

A few weeks passed and I still hadn't seen my father.  I only went home to see my mom when he was at work.  She told me that he felt bad about what he did but he was grieving in his own way and to give him time.  I had spent the entire time with Hoseok, which he was more than happy about, but he didn't like the situation.  I sat there on the couch in the living room, watching him listen to music on his headphones, tapping his pencil to the beat.  I held Jinyoung's notebook, letting my fingers softly touch the edges of it's worn pages.  I sighed and opened the cover, immediately getting almost choked up at the sight of his handwriting.  I let my fingers roam the pages gently as I looked at the songs and lyrics he had written.  They were genius, so full of emotion.  I sat there for a while, just reading through the pages and pages of songs and partially completed songs, wiping tears away at one point or another.  I hadn't even noticed that Hoseok had stopped listening to his music and tapping his pencil.  When I looked up, he was staring at me softly, his eyes warm, a sad smile on his face.

"Baby, are you ok?" he asked, standing up and moving next to me.  I nodded and closed the notebook, putting it on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I'm ok.  I think I have come to a decision as to what I want to do with this." I said, as I let my hand come off of the notebook.

"Oh really?" he asked, putting his arm around me. 

"I decided I'm going to finally go to the studio and see Jaebum there.  He deserves this notebook.  Most of these songs were written for them to sing together, and I think it belongs to him more than anyone." I replied, resting my head against his shoulder.  He rubbed my arm and kissed my forehead, as I let out a sigh.

"That couldn't have been an easy decision to make, but I am proud of you for making it.  I am sure he will appreciate it too." he responded. 

"Thank you.  I think I will call Jaebum in a little bit and see if he will be at the studio tomorrow." I said, nuzzling more into Hobi.

"He should be, he's always there it seems like.  I have to pass by that studio to get to mine, and he is usually there when I get there and when I leave." he replied, nodding.   I eventually quit cuddling into him and straddled his lap, wrapping my arms around his lower back.  I rested my head on his shoulder and started kissing his neck softly.  He let out a little sigh as he wrapped his arms around my back, sliding them softly down to the waistband of my jeans. 

"Mmmm Hobi." I mumbled against his skin as he slipped his hands up under my shirt and started to caress my bare back.  I kissed him a little more urgently, letting my tongue graze over the skin.  I felt him shiver, making me smirk a little bit.  I could feel him getting excited underneath me already.  I continued kissing and gently nipping and sucking on the skin of his neck, working my way up to his earlobe.  His breath hitched slightly as I sucked on it, grinding myself into him.

"God, you drive me crazy." he growled, bringing his hands down and gripping my ass tightly.  I stopped kissing him and sat up, giving him a playful smile.  I stood up and pulled my shirt over my head, letting it drop to the floor.  He licked his lips eagerly as he watched me go for the button on my jeans.  As I removed them, he started palming himself through his sweatpants, staring at me wantingly.

"We are gonna do this." I said, as I slipped my panties off. 

"You're sure?" he asked, biting his lip as he pulled his now erect dick out of his boxers and sweatpants.  I nodded as I grabbed the waistband, helping him slip them down to his ankles.  I straddled him again, up on my knees as I felt his erection brush my wetness.  I felt myself tensing in anticipation as he stared up at me.  I looked down and saw him holding the base of his cock, already beading with precum.

"Help me.  Guide yourself in position." I said as I put both hands on his shoulders.  I could feel his head just barely enter me, making me gasp.

"Is this ok?" he asked, his voice breathy.  I slowly started to lower myself onto him, making him moan out loudly.  I gripped his shoulders tight as I eased him in, little by little.  I let out harsh breaths, trying to adjust to the stretch of him filling me.  When I had finally lowered all the way on him, I looked into his eyes, his glossed over with lust.  A soft look came across his face as he put his hand on my cheek and wiped away the tear out of the corner of my eye with his thumb.

"I don't want to hurt you, baby." he said softly.  I leaned forward and kissed him gently, sucking on his bottom lip.  I leaned my forehead against his as I started slowly moving my hips, making him groan.  His hands traveled to my hips, holding onto them tight as I started grinding back and forth. 

"Oh fuck, you feel so big!" I said in a trembling voice, my body tense as the pain started to disipate and pleasure took over.

"MMMmmmmm that's amazing." he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.  He started helping me move a little faster, digging his fingertips into the skin around my hips, surely to leave bruises later.  I moaned and threw my head back as he thrusted upward into me.  hitting me deeper than I imagined he could get.  My thighs trembled from the stimulation, as I continued to work with him, bouncing on top of him a little faster.

"Hobi!" I almost whined as I slid my hands behind his neck, resting my forehead against his as we continued to move together.  He looked into my eyes again, letting out harsh, ragged breaths with each thrust. 

"J-just like this." he breathed, his voice coming out shaky.  I leaned in and kissed him, my tongue immediately finding it's way into his mouth, muffling our moans.  I pulled back as we both breathed out heavily, moving slightly harder and faster.  I could feel the warmth and tightness started to coil in my stomach, making me shake and tense.

"God, Hoseok, I love you." I said breathlessly, as my finger nails slightly dug into his skin.

"I love you too." he said, biting his lip after.  I thrusted forward as I went down, making his eyes roll back in his head.  He dropped his head back on the couch as he gripped my ass hard.  He grinded me forward as I groaned loudly with each thrust.

"Hobi- I 'can't ... I'm gonna -" I moaned, my back arching at the building sensation.

"Oh yeah, that's it baby.  Cum on my dick, make me cum inside you." he growled as he snapped his hips harder.  He spread my ass apart slightly as he shoved me forward, snapping up into me hard. 

"Right there! Yes!" I moaned as I felt myself reaching the edge.  With a few more snaps of his hips, my climax washed over me.  I shook uncontrollably as he continued thrusting.  I could feel my walls contracting around him, making him feel even bigger and harder than he already was.  I continued to squirm, letting out groans, sweat beading on my forehead.

"MMMnnn I'm cumming." He mumbled as I felt him tense, his muscles trembling in pleasure.  He moaned loudly as I could feel his hot cum release inside me.  He continued thrusting at a sloppy pace for another few seconds until he relaxed underneath me, breathing heavily.  I collapsed against him, our sweaty bodies pressed into each other as we both panted.

"Wow..." he breathed out, followed by a light chuckle.  I giggled as I sat back up a little bit to look at him.  He stared into my eyes with the biggest smile on his face, warming my heart.

"I really do love you." I said, putting my hand on his cheek.

"I love you too, more than words can say." he replied, kissing me softly.  I winced slightly as I moved, making him whimper. 

"God, I feel like jelly.  I don't know if I can get up yet." I laughed, feeling the weakness of my muscles.

"Don't yet.  We will take a shower in a minute.  Just...don't move.  I don't want this moment to end." he sighed, pulling me back into him.  I laid against his chest and shoulder, feeling his heart beat as rapidly as mine was.  I closed my eyes and just listened to the sound, enjoying the feeling of being as close as I could possibly be to the man I loved.

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	18. E I G H T E E N

I sat in the car, staring up at the building I had been avoiding for months.  I knew that I was being silly, but for some reason, this bothered me more than being at home.  I think it had something to do with the fact that Jinyoung was always in his element when he was at the studio.  That is where he really came alive and was himself.  I think that is why I always loved to come here with him so much.   I sighed and unbuckled my seatbelt, opening the door slowly.  My legs felt like lead as I pulled my backpack on and closed the car door.  I really didn't want to do this, but I knew I could now. 

As I made my way past the empty studios, I came across the familiar door, making a lump appear in my throat. I put my hand timidly on the door and pushed it open, making my body tense up. I saw Jaebum's broad back facing me as he sat at the computer, headphones on his head.  He moved his head softly to the rhythm as I smiled to myself.  I viewed him as almost as much of a brother as Jinyoung.  They had been friends for as long as I could remember and he had always treated me like his little sister.  I walked slowly over to him, not wanting to startle him.  He flinched slightly as I put my hand on his shoulder, yanking the headphones from his head.

"Jesus, you scared me to death." he laughed, holding his hand over his chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." I smiled as I sat in the chair next to him.  I pulled my backpack off and held it in my arms, knowing what treasure laid in side.

"I'm surprised to see you here.  I mean, I know you called and told me you were coming, but...somehow I didn't think that you would come back here." he said softly, though his eyes were lighting up.

"It was a hard decision to make, but I am glad I did.  I feel closer to him right now than I have since he left." I said, looking around the familiar room with it's faded, sound proof walls.

"I'm glad you did.  You should listen to some of what I have been working on lately.  I just...I don't know.   It's so much harder without him." he sighed, rubbing the back of his head.  I smiled as I opened my backpack and reached in for what I knew would cheer him up.

"This might make it easier." I said, holding the notebook out to him.  His eyes went wide as he stared down at it, and looked back up at me.

"I-is...is that..." he said, his eyes already glazing over with unshed tears.

"He would want you to have it." I said, placing the notebook in his hands.  He let out a shaky breath as he wiped his eyes with the back of one of his hands.

"I can't take this from you." he said, his voice breaking.  I felt tears of my own working their way out of the corner of my eyes as I sniffled.  I wiped a tear off of his cheek and smiled at him.

"Jaebum oppa, I want you to have it.  If I have it, it will sit in my house on a table somewhere and yes, I will love it and treasure it, but that's all the good it will do.  If I give this to you, then you can keep Jinyoung's dreams alive.  You can share it with the world, and he can be proud of both of us." I said, wiping my own tears away.  

"I don't know how to thank you." he whispered, running his hand over the cover.  

"I am not going to lie, ever since Jinyoung died, it's like I died with him.  But I have gradually been healing and this was a huge step for me."  I smiled, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of me.

"I know what you mean.  This does help me too.  I have felt a huge hole in my life, and this will help me heal too.  Jesus, look at me crying.  I haven't really cried much since that first night. " he laughed, wiping the last of his tears away.

"I have done nothing but cry!  But not as much anymore.  Honestly, Hoseok is the reason for that. He has been a lifesaver, truly.  He makes me feel again, things I never felt before in my life.  I know Jinyoung wouldn't like him at first, just because he was someone threatening to take his sister's virtue away, but in the end, he would really like him." I smiled, my heart warming at the thought of him.

"He seems like a nice guy.  I have run into him a few times here and there, and he is really friendly.  I am glad he makes you happy." he smiled, patting my arm. 

"He really does.  Actually, I can't stay long.  He is due to be done at the studio any minute now." I said, standing up and putting my backpack back on.  He placed the notebook down and wrapped me up in a big hug and placed a quick peck on my cheek.

"I am proud of you, really.  I am sorry I haven't been there for you more through this.  I just didn't know what to do or say." he said as he let me go.

"Don't be sorry.  It was painful for me at first to even see you, honestly.  But, I think now that we are healing, things will be just fine." I said, smiling.

"No doubt.  I will call you when I get these more completed and have you come take a listen." he said, sitting back down in front of the computer.

"Sounds good.  Bye Jaebum." I waved as I headed to the door.  I opened it and breathed out a sigh of relief.  I walked down the hallway and passed a couple more doors until I reached the studio Hoseok was in.  I looked through the window and saw him dancing aggresively, making my breath catch in my throat.  I opened the door quietly and stood against it as it closed, watching him dance more.  At one point he stopped and let out a frustrated growl, standing up straight and resting his hands on his hips.  He marched over and turned the music off as he grabbed a towel and wiped his face.

"That looked good. " I said, smiling at him.  He turned and looked at me and quickly looked away, shaking his head.

"It's not." he said shortly as he grabbed his water bottle off of the stool.

"What do you mean?  It looked fantastic!  It is just not turning out the way you wanted?" I asked, chewing my lip.  I had never seen him irritated before.  He turned and gave me a slight glare, but with a hint of something else in his eye.

"Why do you care?" he asked, taking a sip of his water.

"H-hobi...of course I care." I said softly. 

"Could have fooled me." he grumbled, making my heart ache slightly.  I walked over toward him slowly, feeling a little apprehensive.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I reached him. He let out a sigh and looked at the ground, shaking his head.

"Are your feelings for me even genuine?" he asked quietly, but still in an angry tone.

"Of course they are! Why would you ever think they aren't?" I asked, trying not to get choked up.  Here I just told Jaebum how important Hobi was to me, and now he was doubting my feelings?

"Well it's hard to tell when it seems like you have these feelings for other people." he growled.

"Hoseok, what are you talking about?" I asked, feeling confused.

"I saw you...with him." he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You are gonna have to elaborate cause I don't know what the hell you are talking about!" I defended, getting a little annoyed at this situation.  I felt attacked for no reason.

"You and Jaebum.  You two were close and you were touching his face and he hugged you and even kissed your cheek!" he said angrily.  I walked toward him until he backed into the mirror and I leaned against him, holding both sides of his face in my hands.

"Babe, I love you and only you.  What you saw was me wiping a tear off of his face because in the twenty years I have known Jaebum, I have never once seen him cry.  He was hurting about my brother.  He was hugging me and thanking me for giving him the notebook.  And as for the peck, honestly I didn't even notice because he has done that since I was a little girl.  Trust me, there are no feelings there besides sibling affection.  He is like my brother and always has been.  I promise you, you have my heart, all of it." I said, kissing his lips softly.  I felt him let out a big breath as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him, deepening the kiss.  We continued kissing for several minutes until we both were panting between kisses.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt, but I was scared I was losing you." he said as he pulled away, his eyes almost looking pained.  Though I didn't do anything wrong really, I felt guilty.  I didn't even want to hurt him in any way, even unintentionally.

"I am not going anywhere. And I'm sorry that something I did made you feel that way. I promise I won't let him do that anymore, ok?" I replied, looking into his eyes.  He nodded quickly as he turned us around and pressed me into the mirror, kissing me hard.  His hands started to roam my sides, as I felt him push into me more.

"My God, I want you right here and now." he breathed, his voice husky.

"This place does have showers." I grinned and bit my lip. 

"What a great idea." he chukled.  With one swift motion he lifted me up and carried me out of the door and into the abandoned locker room where we made sweet love under the shower and steam. 

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	19. N I N E T E E N

Several more weeks went by before I finally heard from my father.  He called me crying, apologizing for what he did.  I forgave him of course, because even though he did hit me, it was something out of character that he had never done before and I truly believed he would never do again.  Hoseok had really come into his own at the studio, quickly becoming a popular instructor.  He was getting more and more people signing up for his classes and before he knew it, he had full classes on three out of the five days he worked.  Jaebum hooked me up with a part time job, giving private piano lessons to a few smaller children.  It was enjoyable and I really was content with life.  Tonight I was a little nervous because Hoseok said he had something he needed to talk to me about.  I trusted him, and it's not like I thought we were breaking up or anything, but I couldn't help but get nervous.   I came out from the room after getting ready to see Hoseok standing there, hands in his pockets. 

"Don't you look so handsome." I grinned as I walked over to him. 

"Oh shush." he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me.

"Is that a bit of pink I detect on those cheeks?" I asked, kissing one of them.

"Oh my gosh, stop!" he laughed, turning even pinker.  I giggled and kissed his other cheek before planting a soft one on his lips. 

"I'm ready whenever you are." I said, backing up. 

"We aren't going far." he smiled, taking my hand in his.  I looked at him with confusion as he started leading me through the house.  He opened the back door to reveal a picnic laid out on the patio, making me break into a huge smile.

"Hobi, this is beautiful!" I said, turning and kissing his cheek.

"I thought you would like it.  Here, let me light the candles." he said as he ushered me over to sit on the blanket.  He then went around and lit multiple candles that were set out, making it even more romantic than it was before.  He came and joined me on the blanket as he got out the wine from inside it. 

"So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked, trying not to sound nervous.

"You sound worried." he smiled, as he handed me a glass of wine.

"I'm not gonna lie, I am a little bit.  I don't know why." I laughed, taking a sip of the wine.

"It's nothing bad, I promise.  I kinda wanted to wait until the end of the picnic, but I don't want you to be worried or uncomfortable." he said as he took a sip himself.

"No, that's ok.  I don't want to mess up your plans." I replied.

"It's ok, really.  It might be easier to enjoy the evening if I get it off of my chest." he said, letting out a breath and taking a few more swigs of wine.

"What's on your mind, baby?" I asked, biting my nail nervously.  He smiled and grabbed my hand away from my mouth, holding it in his.

"Ok, here goes nothing. What would you think about moving in with me?"he asked, now looking nervous himself.

"That's what you wanted to talk about?" I asked, my eyebrows raising.  He was so cute, acting all nervous.

"Yeahhhhh, I've been wanting to ask you for a while now." he said, still seeming nervous.

"Of course I will move in with you.  I mean, I pretty much live here already." I laughed, leaning over and kissing him softly.  He let out a quiet chuckle as he returned the kiss, making me melt into him.

"I don't know why I was so nervous.  But I am beyond happy right now." he laughed, putting down his glass.  Luckly I had just emptied mine as he reached forward and wrapped his arms around me before dragging me onto his lap.  We enjoyed the rest of the evening with each other, just relaxing, feeding each other the finger foods he had prepared, and looking up at the stars together.  At this moment, life was perfect, and I really didn't expect it to get much better than this.

*****

"Hey babe, guess what?" Hoseok called, coming in the front door.

"What's up?" I asked, peeking my head from inside the kitchen. 

"So, a few of the different choreographers and instructors, as well as a couple producers are getting a little party together after work on Friday and we were both invited." he said, dropping his duffel bag by the door.

"Oh, that sounds nice.  Maybe I can finally meet some of these guys you are always telling me funny stories about." I smiled as he followed me into the kitchen. 

"Yeah, you will!  They are a fun group, really. I can't wait for you to meet them!" he replied, wrapping his arms around my waist as I stirred the soup I was making.

"I can't either.  I am glad you have made friends who share your passion.  It makes you closer, I think." I said, as I squirmed in his grip, since he started to kiss behind my ear.  I giggled and took the spoon out of the pot as he started tickling me mercilessly.  I laughed and tried desparately to get out of his hold, but unable to break free.

"I need to breathe!" I laughed as tears started coming out of the corner of my eyes.  He giggled too ask he kissed me of the neck as he let me go.  I turned around and started attacking his sides, making him laugh hard.  He grabbed at my wrists until he pulled them away and pushed me into the fridge.  Our smiles and laughter died down until he started desparately kissing me, his hands already roaming my body. 

"Can that soup be reheated?" he asked in a deep voice.

"Yes, yes it can." I grinned.

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	20. T W E N T Y

I don't know why I was nervous to meet his friends.  I guess since he had no family to introduce me to, this was kind of like that for me. 

"You have been quiet the whole ride.  Is everything ok?" he asked, putting his hand on my knee.  I glanced at him quickly out of the corner of my eye, not wanting to take my eyes off the road.

"Yeah, I'm ok.  Just a little nervous I guess." I replied as I pulled in to the restaurant and bar we were meeting them at.

"Don't worry, babe.  They are very laid back." he said, patting my leg.  When we got out of the car, before we walked in he pulled me in his arms and gave me a sweet kiss.  I let him kiss me for a minute before pulling away giggling.

"Hobi, someone could see!" I said, poking his side before looking around.

"I don't care, let them see!   I'm proud to have you as my girlfriend." He smiled, pecking me on the cheek. 

"Alright, alright!  We better get inside." I laughed as a pulled away.  He held my hand as we walked inside, and waved to a group of six guys sitting around a large, round booth.  I felt myself on edge as we walked over and stood beside the booth.

"Guys, this is my girlfriend, y/n."  Hoseok said, motioning to me. 

"You can put up with this guy's crazy, hyper self?" one with silver hair laughed.

"Oh shush, Jimin." Hobi laughed as we sat down.

"Sorry, I'm Jimin, and this black haired guy beside me is my roommate and best friend, Yoongi.  I'm a dance instructor with Hoseok, and Yoongi is a producer." Jimin introduced.  Yoongi nodded in greeting, and I smiled in response to Jimin's bright smile.

"I'm Jungkook, and this is my boyfriend Taehyung." grinned another black haired man, motioning to the golden brown haired one beside him.

"And what do you two do?" I asked, still nervously holding Hobi's hand.

"I'm a singer, and Jungkook here is a dance instructor."  Taehyung answered before taking a sip of beer.

"Last, but of course not least, I am Jin and this is my fiance, Namjoon." one with pink hair motioned to the platinum blonde with deep dimples.

"I'm a producer and Jin here is a singer as well." Namjoon added.

"What do you do?" Yoongi asked, in a deep, calm voice.

"Oh nothing special.  I am teaching piano lessons to younger kids." I replied.

"Don't say that!  You are teaching little kids who may very well grow up to be talented and amazing musicians.  They will always remember you as the person who helped them start their career in music, and follow their passion and dreams." Hoseok said, rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand.

"Well said!" Jin smiled, raising his drink.

"What he said is true, but jeez J-hope, you really are whipped." Jungkook laughed.

"J-hope?" I asked, looking at Hoseok with a grin.

"Eh it's a nickname we gave him." Namjoon smiled.

"Don't ask."  Hoseok mumbled to me, a grin on his face. 

"So, you do know that he talks about you all the time, right?" Jimin asked.  I felt my face flush as I looked at Hoseok out of the corner of my eye.

"It's true, he does." Jungkook agreed.  Hobi laughed and leaned over kissing my forehead.  I covered my cheek with my spare hand, grinning.

"Like you don't constantly talk about how hot Taehyung's ass is." Hoseok teased, causing Taehyung to turn bright red.  He elbowed Jungkook, making more of them bust out laughing.  We spent the evening eating dinner, drinking a little bit, and as I got to see Hoseok interacting more with his friends, I saw a new side to him that I hadn't seen before.  It made me happy to see him truly having a good life now.  He had a job that he loved and had a passion for, we loved each other, and he now had friends that shared his passion and that he had obviously become close to.  As the night came to an end, I drove a giddy and tipsy Hoseok home, him babbling non-stop about the friends we just left. 

"Alright, baby, let's get your happy ass in the house." I laughed as I pulled him by his hand through the front door.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he asked as he kissed me gently once we got in the house.

"I do.  And just know that I love you every bit as much as you love me." I smiled.  He giggled and grabbed me, picking me up and spinning me around quickly.

"You make me so happy." he said as he put me back down, kissing me again.

"You make me happy too.  Come on baby, let's go cuddle in bed and you will make me even happier." I replied, taking his hand.  I knew he had to crash soon, so I wanted to coax him into bed before he passed out somewhere else.  He followed me and quickly stripped himself of his shirt and pants, climbing into bed in his boxers.  I crawled in beside him and laid on his chest, wrapping an arm around him.  He hummed in contentment and rubbed his hand softly back and forth on my back.  We laid there for a while, just quietly cuddling like that. I was suprised he got so quiet so quickly after being so bubbly and giggly before. 

"Hoseok, I hope you know that I am thankful every single day that you have come into my life.  You are such a wonderful and amazing person, and I feel so lucky that we met, even if it wasn't under good circumstances." I said, tracing my fingers in circles over his shirt.  He got really still until I felt him trembling under me. 

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked, lifting my head to look at him.  I saw his lip and chin quivering uncontrollably as tears were making their way out of the corner of his eyes and onto the pillow below him.

"Baby!  What's wrong?" I asked, leaning up on my elbow and putting a hand on his cheek, wiping his tears off.

"I f-feel so guilty." he whispered.

"Why on earth do you feel guilty?" I asked, still holding his cheek.

"Because, I'm happy.  I shouldn't be, I don't deserve to be." he said, his voice breaking.  My God, hearing him like this broke my heart.

"Don't you dare think that!  You deserve to be ecstatic!  You are a wonderful person." I said softly, kissing him a couple of times before leaning back again to look in his eyes.  The hurt was shining through, making him taking a trembling breath.

"It's just...I still feel like it's all my fault.  What I did effected so much, in so many horrible ways and I still feel like it should be me that died." he finally sobbed.  I muffled his cries with another kiss, closing my eyes to try to block the tears that had already sprung up. 

"Please, please don't ever say that again.  It was an accident, baby, it wasn't your fault." I said, scanning his face.  He nodded softly, sniffling as he took some deep breaths.

"I-I'm sorry." he whispered, looking at me with such sad eyes.

"Don't be sorry.  Just please promise me you will try to stop thinking things like that.   I love you and you need to forgive yourself." I replied, running a hand back through his hair. 

"I love you too, so much.  I promise I will try, for you." he answered, letting out a soft sigh. 

"Good.  Now, come cuddle on me and let me make you feel better." I said, leaning on my back and opening my arms for him.  He gave me a tiny smile and rolled over, resting his head on my chest and wrapping his arm around me.  He snuggled his head on me and let out a soft sigh as I started running my hand softly through his hair.  I hummed to him gently as I felt him relax into me and slowly drift off to sleep.  I  laid away for a while, thinking about how I really did hope he could forgive himself and no longer have these feelings of guilt. 

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	21. T W E N T Y - O N E

"This was such a good idea, Hobi!" I said excitedly as the train started to pull out of the station.

"I am just glad we both had some time off of work to be able to do this!" he agreed, holding my hand and leaning back into the seat. 

"You know, I've never actually been to Busan." I replied.

"I remember.  Now we are gonna have the whole weekend together right by the beach." he grinned, squeezing my hand. 

"What a great way to spend our six month anniversary.  Thank you!" I replied, leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the cheek, before resting my head against his shoulder.   We just relaxed there quietly, holding hands and watching the world whiz by outside the window of the train, until we reached Busan. 

****

"If you will wait just one moment, I will have the key to your room ready." the girl at the check in counter said, without even looking up from her computer.  I looked around the beauitful lobby of the hotel and noticed an older lady looking at us and smiling until she waved to me. I nudged Hoseok and motioned with a smile to the lady who was nearby.

"You make a lovely couple. Are you newlyweds?" she asked in a sweet, soft voice.

"Yes, we are. Thank you!" Hobi replied, smiling and waving to her. I felt myself flush as I greeted the lady.

"Thank you." I said quietly as she continued to smile at us.

"You remind me of my grandson. You both will make beautiful children." she said so casually.

"Oh...Uh..thank you." I said, trying not to giggle.

"Grandma, leave the young couple be." a young girl said behind her.

"Alright, alright." she replied, turning back around and walking away with the young girl. Hoseok looked at me and giggled, pinching my cheek lightly.

"Look at my beautiful, blushing bride." he teased.

"Oh my God, hush!" I said, covering my face with my hands. He pulled them away and gave me a quick peck, making me blush even more. 

"Alright, here are your keys, and enjoy your stay!" the girl chirped cheerfully as she placed two key cards on the counter.    We made our way up to the room and I was completely taken with the beautiful view.

"Hobi, this is amazing.  I can't thank you enough." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a soft kiss.

"I am glad you like it.  Happy six month anniversary babe." he replied, kissing me back with a smile.  It was already evening, and we decided to order room service and have dinner on the balcony and enjoy the view.  It was so romantic, and a moment I knew I would never forget.  After we finished eating, I climbed onto his lap as he cradled me, keeping me warm despite the slight chill in the night air.

"Can I ask you something without it scaring you?" I asked as I played with his fingers.

"Of course you can.  Nothing you could say would scare me away." he replied. 

"When that lady said something about us making beautiful kids...do you ever think you want to be a parent one day?" I asked, chewing on my lip slightly.

"Well, yeah actually.  I don't know if I would be a very good father, but I have always wanted kids.  What about you?" he responded, raking his fingers softly through my hair. 

"First of all, I think you would make a wonderful father.  Any child would be lucky to have you.  But to answer your question, I think I would, yes.  At first, I didn't think I would.  Jinyoung always talked about wanting to have a lot of kids one day, so I figured I would just be the aunt who is obsessed with her little nieces and nephews and just live like that.  But now...after everything... I think I want that chance to have children of my own." I replied, lacing my fingers in his.  

"I think you would make a great mom." he said, kissing my forehead.

"You really think so?" I asked, picking my head up and looking at him.

"I know so." he smiled at me fondly.  I drew my leg up close to my body and twisted on his lap to face him, straddling his legs.  I leaned forward and let my lips barely connect with his, feeling that spark of electricty shoot through my body.  He slid his hands up my thighs and around to my ass, pulling me into him more as we continued kissing, gradually becoming more passionate.  He slipped his tongue into my mouth, making me shiver as I ran my hands down his chest. 

"You know, I'm no where near ready to have a baby right now, but practicing making one sounds pretty good right about now." I smiled mischeviously as I pulled back.

"Oh yeah, definitely." he grinned.  I stood up off of his lap and offered him my hand to pull him up from the chair.  As we walked back into the room, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled he me into him.   He placed a few kisses on the side of my neck, making me squirm in his hold.

"So, how does my baby girl want it tonight?" he asked in a husky voice that sent shivers down my spine.

"However oppa wants to give it to me." I replied, grinding my ass against him.  He grunted and dug his hands into my hips as he rutted his hips against me.

"On your hands and knees, baby girl." he replied, letting go of me.  He smacked my ass as I pulled away and quickly got undressed, assuming the position he requested on the bed. 

"Mmmm oppa, I am so ready for you." I teased, wiggling my ass slightly.  He chuckled as he got up on the bed after stripping himself of his clothes, lending a few strokes to his now erect member.

"I love it when you are playful like this, baby girl.  You know what it does to me." he answered, biting his lip.  He crawled up behind me and without any warning slammed fully into me.  I gasped before letting out a loud groan as he started mercilessly pounding into me.

"F-fuck, oppa!" I whined, gripping onto the bed sheets tightly, my knuckles already turning white. 

"Always so tight and wet for me." he grunted between thrusts.  I loved seeing him get all worked up like this, that's when he seemed to go hardest.  I concentrated on trying to keep steady breathing as I felt him speed up, gripping my hips tightly with his big hands.

"Ughnnnn H-hobi!" I  moaned as I could feel the heat beginning to coil in my belly. 

"What is it, baby girl?" he asked, snapping his hips even harder, the sound of our skin slapping together filling the room.

"S-so good!" I whimpered as he let out harsh breaths with his intense thrusts.  He started going even faster, making me bury my face in the pillow and groan loudly.

"I can feel you getting tighter. Mmmm, you gonna cum for me baby?" he asked between thrusts.  I nodded my head and continued moaning into the pillow as I twisted the sheet in my fists.   I could feel myself on the edge of my orgasm, trying to hold off to cum with him, but the pleasure started getting so intense.

"I want your cum, oppa!" I shouted as I teetered on the edge.

"Oh,fuck!" he groaned as he went really hard and fast, his thrusts getting sloppy as he let out moans of his release.  I let mine go, seeing spots in my vision as by body was wracked with pleasure, trembling.   As he finished, he leaned into me for a moment as we both panted heavily.

"That was amazing." I breathed, my body feeling weak. 

"It always is with you." he said, kissing my back.  We stayed on the bed for a while longer before taking a shower and cuddling each other to sleep.  It was a great way to start our little trip.

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	22. T W E N T Y - T W O

"Very good, Jooheon!" I commended as he finished up the song.

"I did it!" he smiled, looking up at me as his little dimples pushed into his cheeks. 

"You did!  And as promised, I will bring you your favorite sweet when I come back for lessons next week." I smiled back, patting his head.  He wiggled in his seat, so excited.  I promised him sweets if he practiced hard and completed the song I assigned him two weeks ago.  He was very talented, but one of those kids who always needed a little push or motivation. 

"Thank you!" he giggled, looking at the keys of the piano.

"Now, just work on the other one and I will give you another one, too." I said as I stood up from the seat.  He nodded and closed the lid to the piano, giving me a little bow.

"I will do my best." he said, giving me a thumbs up after.  I laughed and gave him a quick hug.  This kid sure had grown on me.

"I know you can do it.  Now, I will see you next week." I said as I walked to the door.  He waved goodbye to me as I made my way to the car.  I really had started to enjoy my job.  I had several students now, and most of them really loved piano, so it made it much more enjoyable than teaching kids who only took lessons because their parents made them.  As I started up the car, my phone rang, and I was surprised to see who it was.

"Hey, Jaebum.  How have you been?" I asked, buckling my seatbelt.

_"I'm pretty great, actually.  I wanted to see if you would come by the studio whenever you have time.  I have got one song completely finished, and I wanted to run an idea by you for another."_

"I just finished a lesson, so I actually am free for the rest of the day, if you want me to stop by." I replied.

" _Sounds great!  I am already here, so just come on by._ "

"Ok, see you soon." I responded, hanging up.  I was a little excited by the thought of hearing one of Jinyoung's songs finished, and couldn't wait to hear it.

*****

"I'm glad you are here.  Ok, so you need to prepare yourself." he said, handing me the headphones.  I gave him a funny look as I put them on and waited for the song to start.  The music flooded my ears and within seconds, my eyes widened and I felt tears pour down my cheeks.  Jinyoung's voice pierced my body, making me start to sob uncontrollably.  Jaebum stopped the song and pulled the headphones from my head.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I should have warned you better." he said, holding my arms.

"H-hobi." I cried with my eyes squeezed shut. 

"I'll get him." he said, standing up and running out of the room.  I wrapped my arms around myself as best as I could and started rocking back and forth, sobbing deeply.  I knew I was going to be listening to a song written by Jinyoung but to hear his voice...I wasn't ready.  Moments later Hoseok came bursting through the door, slightly sweaty and huffing.  He ran up to me and got on his knees in front of me before wrapping his arms around my back.

"I'm here, baby, I'm here." he said softly, rocking me back and forth in his hold.  I cried into his neck as he consoled me, patting my back and rubbing it until the sobs had finally been reduced to gentle tears.

"I'm sorry, I just..."I started, as he pulled away slightly looking at me.  He shook his head and wiped my face off before standing up.  He pulled me up and sat down in the chair behind me, pulling me into his lap.

"Don't be sorry.  You have nothing to apologize for, alright?" he said, kissing my damp cheek.

"I pulled you from class." I said, feeling ashamed of myself.  I felt so childish right now, calling for him like I would a parent.

"Oh stop.  Jungkook is there, so he took over.  As soon as I saw Jaebum's face, I knew something was wrong." He replied.  I looked over at Jaebum who sat there slightly hanging his head.

"I am the one that's sorry.  I never should have played that for you." he said, letting out a sigh and looking up at me.

"No, I am glad you did.  Hearing his voice just felt like my heart was ripped out.  The last time I heard his voice was the night he died, and I never expected to hear it again." I responded, as I felt Hoseok start to rub my back some more.

"He had been recording for this song already for a while before he passed.  I hadn't recorded my part yet, because we weren't sure of the layout and arrangement.  But I decided to just go with what he originally saw for the song and recorded my parts." he replied, staring at the computer.

"Can...can we hear the rest of it?" I asked, holding Hobi's hand nervously.

"If you are sure, of course." he replied, unplugging the headphones so he could play it over the speakers.  I leaned into Hoseok and laid my head on his shoulder as Jaebum started the song back up again.  Tears came to my eyes immedicately again as I heard his voice start to pierce the air.  I didn't sob this time, but tears still rolled down my face slowly.  When Jaebum's voice came on after, it was like a soothing feeling.  The song went back and forth between them and it was truly beautiful.  When the song ended, Jaebum sat there quietly, staring at me, trying to read my face.

"Thank you. That was such an amazing gift." I said, wiping my face.

"You both have great voices.  Was the first one your brother?" Hoseok asked, looking at me.  I nodded and looked back over to a smiling Jaebum.

"I am so glad you liked it.  I was a little worried, but I am happy you liked it.  But, that brings me to what I wanted to run by you.  I wanted to try sending this off to some labels to see if they would publish it, but I wanted your permission first." he said, looking at me seriously.

"That sounds great.  I hope they do, the world deserves to hear him, like he always wanted." I nodded. 

"There is something else too.  Later on, in the notebook, I came across a song he actually planned on doing with you.  He has parts where he noted he wanted you to play piano, and he wrote the song as a duet.  I wanted to know if you wanted to go ahead with it, and record your part, and if you wanted to get someone to do the other part." he said, staring at me intently.  I was in a little bit of shock, but I nodded, still wanting to make Jinyoung's dreams come true.

"Babe, do you think any of the guys would want to sing it?" I asked, looking at him.

"I'm sure they would.  Depending on what kind of sound you want, Jin and Jimin both have very light voices and Taehyung is deep.  Jungkook actually sings too and his is a bit in the middle.  It will depend on what kind of sound you guys are looking for.  But I will have them set up a time to come by and you guys can all decide." Hoseok replied, smiling at me.

"Then that sounds like a plan." I replied.  Despite how hard this was initially, to know that I was doing what he wanted, it made me feel closer to Jinyoung again, like he was here with us.  I liked that feeling, and it made me feel the best I had since the beginning.

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	23. T W E N T Y - T H R E E

We spent the next couple months or so in the studio a lot, trying to perfect Jinyoung's songs.  We decided that Jimin was the best sound for the song we were going to record, but we didn't stop there.  We chose to bring as many of Jinyoung's finished songs to life as we could by recruiting the rest of the guys to sing the other songs.  By time we were done, we had a duet by Jimin and myself, Jin solo, Jimin solo, Jungkook solo, Taehyung solo, Jaebum and Jinyoung duet, and a Jaebum solo.  Today was the finished product so we decided to have a party to listen to all the finished products and celebrate what we had accomplished.  Jaebum produced the entire album, but brought Rapmon and Yoongi in to co-produce some of them, to get a fresh perspective.  Hoseok even helped co-produce one, making me feel even more proud and excited to hear it. I sat there happily thinking about everything when Hoseok startled me by wrapping his arms around me.

"What are you thinking about, baby?" he asked, kissing my neck.

"Mmm, just happy.  Excited for the party." I replied, leaning my head into his.

"Well, I am ready if you are."he said, squeezing me tightly.  Without much more delay, we headed out to the studio.  The owner let us use the big one reserved for record labels tonight to celebrate.  As we reached the end of the hallway and opened the door, we were met by the happy cheers of the guys, all raising their glasses to us. 

"Are we late?" I asked, laughing and hanging my sweater by the door.

"Nah, we just got here early to bring the drinks and order pizza." Taehyung smiled from his spot on Jungkook's lap. 

"Here, we saved ya a seat!" Jimin said, patting the empty spot on the couch.  Hoseok went and sat down, pulling me onto his lap and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You guys want some pizza?" Namjoon asked with a mouthful of it.  I just shook my head, too nervous to eat. 

"I think we're good." Hoseok replied, squeezing me just a little bit.  The guys started excitedly chattering, all ready to hear the music we had all worked so hard on.  No one had heard anyone else's songs, except Jaebum or whoever was helping him produce.  The chatter changed to laughter and cheers as Jaebum walked in.

"The man of the hour!" Jungkook shouted, as we all clapped.  He turned a little red as he took off his hoodie and walked to the console, sitting behind it.

"I just wanted to say a few words before we start listening to the songs.  I first tried to take on this alone, wanting to keep Jinyoung's dream alive.  I was lost and running in circles for months until his lyrics were brought to me by y/n.  She selflessly gave up something so dear to her, so that the rest of the world could benefit by hearing his musical genius.  That started the ball rolling and once everyone else helped jump in, it came about much quicker than I thought possible.  This is a result of everyone's hard work to honor a man who can't be with us today, but I would like to think is smiling right now.  Now before I get too sappy, y/n, is there anything you want to say before we start?" Jaebum said in a strong voice, not wavering once.  I decided I could do it too, I could say what I wanted without crying or making a spectacle of myself.

"I cannot thank everyone enough for making Jinyoung's dreams come true.  I was so afraid I was going to cry and break down today, sad that he isn't here to see them come to life.  But, today is a day of celebration, a day of rememberance, and a day of joy as I can proudly say that we really have the best group of friends here to share in this.  This is what Jinyoung wanted...to bring people together, and touch people with his music.  It has already done that, and I hope that it will continue to do that forever.  Oppa, I miss you more than words can possibly express, but I hope you are proud of us, and I hope you are happy, wherever you are.  I love you, and hope that you can be at peace, knowing your lifelong dreams have now come true.  To Jinyoung!" I said, raising the beer that had been handed to me during Jaebum's speech.  We all raised our glasses to him and drank a sip before everyone looked to Jaebum to start the music.

"That was beautiful, baby." Hoseok whispered against my neck.

"Thank you." I smiled, leaning into him more.  As the first song started up, and Jin's beautiful voice came through the speakers, we all looked to him with grins on our faces.  He seemed embarrassed but Namjoon beamed hearing his fiance's voice flow through the speakers.  Jungkook's song came up next as he hid a little bit behind Tae's back, making me giggle.  Jimin's angelic voice shocked us all as it poured out of the speakers, making Yoongi nudge the pink faced man hiding in his hoodie.  Jaebum's was next, followed by Taehyung's deep and smoky voice.  Their voices along with Jinyoung's beautiful words and melodies, made my heart soar with warmth and gratitude.  Mine and Jimin's song was next, and it was my turn to hide my face in my hands.  Of course no one would leave me alone, including Jimin!  We finished the listening party with Jinyoung's and Jaebum's duet that still tugged at my heart.  The guys all got very quiet and serious listening to it, letting the words and Jinyoung's beautiful voice touch their hearts in different ways.   We all applauded and cheered when it finished as I got up off of Hoseok's lap and hugged Jaebum tightly. 

"Thank you, thank you so much." I whispered as one happy tear made it's way out of my eyes. 

"I couldn't have done it without you.  He would be so proud of you for growing as much as you have.  I know I am proud, so I can't imagine how proud he would be." He replied, letting me go.  I looked back to Hoseok who sat there, just smiling so sweetly at me.  I ran back to him and sat sideways on his lap, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I love you so much, Hobi." I said, as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you too, baby." he replied.  He lifted my head and brought me into his eager lips, kissing me softly.

"Awww look at those two!" Jin almost squealed, breaking us from our kiss.  I giggled as Hoseok started pecking at my cheek and neck, letting out chuckles between.

"I have to say, Hoseok, you have my blessing." Jaebum said, raising his beer.

"Your blessing?" Hoseok asked, looking at him slightly confused.

"My blessing to do whatever it is in life you guys plan on.  You make her happier than I think I've ever seen her.  That's saying something, considering what she went through this year.   You're a good guy, Hoseok." he responded, smiling at us. 

"See?  I told you that you are a good guy.  Jinyoung would think so too." I said, kissing Hoseok's cheek.

"It's all because I have you.  You bring out the best in me, babe." he replied, smiling ear to ear. 

"My God, Tae and I can't compete with that level of cuteness." Jungkook laughed, watching the two of us.  We laughed in response and that started the rest of the night's festive and happy mood. 

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	24. T W E N T Y - F O U R

"Babe, can I ask you something?" Hoseok asked me while we cuddled in bed after an amazing round of morning sex.

"What is it, oppa?" I asked, looking up at him.  He truly was a sight.  His hair was still a little damp, his face still flushed, pupils still blown...truly so incredibly breathtaking.  It was a sight I never tired of.

"I was thinking.....would you be ok with meeting my mom?" he asked, running his fingers across my bare skin.  I sat up, holding the sheet to my chest and staring at him intently.

"You really want me to meet her?" I asked, my voice soft spoken.  He looked up at me with a slight smile and nodded.

"We've been together a long time now, and I think it's time.  You are an important part of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine or deserve to be, so I want her to meet the person who has made me that way." he replied.

"Hobi, I would be happy to meet your mom." I smiled, leaning over and resting my chin against his still damp chest. 

"Really?  You wanna do it today?  I was planning on bringing her some flowers, and I think today would be a good day." he smiled, biting his lip. 

"Ok, I would be happy to." I replied, kissing his chest softly, over and over.  He chuckled and reached down to me, pulling me up eye level with him.  He gently cupped my face and let his lips graze my slowly. 

"You're so beautiful." he smiled, brushing my hair behind my ear. 

"And you are so incredibly handsome." I replied as I stroked his cheek with the back of my finger.  He leaned up and kissed me again, this time with more passion, sucking in a deep breath through his nose.  I hummed against his lips as he put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me into him, deepening the kiss. 

"Ok, I better stop before I start round two." he laughed as he pulled away.

"Let's save that for later." I winked, sitting up.  He let out a sigh as I stood, letting the sheet fall away.

"You are making it very difficult to wait for later." he smirked, leaning over and smacking my ass.  I yelped as I turned around and bit my lip before sliding my hands up over my breasts.

"Am I now?" I asked, staring him in the eye with a grin on my face.

"Jesus, you don't fight fair." He said as he stood up out of bed, now standing there naked as well.

"You have the same effect on me so it works both ways. " I said, looking him up and down. 

"Do I now?" he asked, still smirking at me. 

"I am going to take a shower because later is quickly becoming right now." I said, as I turned to walk toward the bathroom.

"Oh no you don't." he said, walking after me.  I giggled and ran to the bathroom, him running up quickly behind me, laughing as he caught me right before I reached the shower door.  He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me from behind, still chuckling.

"Come on, baby, let's shower together." I said, reaching for the door.

"Now that's more like it." he said, placing a quick kiss on my neck.   After a shower which did wind up resulting in a round two, we dressed warmly and headed off to the memorial site for his mother.  It was a cold day, but at least the sun was shining, which was a good sign to us.  We stopped at the local flower shop so he could get a boquet of white lillies on our way there.

"I'm nervous." I said, as I turned down the road leading us to our destination.

"Don't be.  She will love you." he replied, patting my leg as I drove us there.  Hoseok still had trouble driving to this day.  He would if he absolutely had to, but he didn't feel comfortable doing it.  I didn't mind, and I didn't blame him.  I would probably feel the same if it had happened to me.  We were quiet the rest of the short ride until I pulled up to our stop.  I cleared my throat as I stepped out of the car and followed Hoseok inside the building.  He held my hand and led me up to a wall of memorials, stopping in front of one that was just about eye level.  He laid the flowers down on the floor and bowed to it, staring at the floor for a moment.  I joined him in the bow until he raised up, pulling me up with him.

"Eomma, I brought someone with me today.  Someone that I know you will love.  This is y/n, and she is the love of my life." he said, to the photograph in front of us.  She was very beautiful, and shared a smile with the man I currently held on to.

"It's nice to meet you." I said, bowing again.

"Eomma, she is so amazing.  You really will love her.  I do, with all my heart, and she has made me the happiest man.  She is too good to me sometimes and gives me more than I deserve." he said softly.

"That's not true.  Don't say things like that!  You deserve the world.  Your mother agrees." I said, looking at him with a slight smile.  He grinned and looked back at his mom, shaking his head.

"See?  She treats me too well, Eomma.  I am glad that I brought her to meet you.  I will be sure to bring her by more often.   Miss you, love you." he said, kissing his hand and placing it on the glass.

"It was a pleasure, ma'am.  I will do my best to always make him happy and take good care of him.  You have my word." I said, bowing back to her once more before he left.

"See you soon, Eomma." he bowed before we turned to leave.   I held his hand as we walked slowly back to the car, looking at him our of the corner of my eye.

"Thank you for bringing me." I said, squeezing his hand.

"Thank you for coming with me." He said, pecking my cheek.  Somehow, from this sweet act of bringing me to meet someone who he misses so much and meant so much in his life, made me feel the closest to him I ever had. 

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	25. T W E N T Y - F I V E

We laid in bed, cuddled close and I decided to do something similar to what Hoseok had asked of me.   I waited until we were both relaxed and had a good day before I brought it up to him.   He spooned me and rested his lips against the back of my ear, kissing it softly every so often.

"Hobi, I have something I want to ask you." I said in a soft tone.

"What is it, baby?" he asked in a husky voice against my ear that gave me shivers.

"The one year anniversary of Jinyoung's passing is coming up and I wanted to know if you would be willing to come meet him." I said, feeling nervous for reasons I didn't know.

"Yes, I would be happy to.  I will meet him whenever you want me to." he said, squeezing me tightly to him.

"Would this weekend be ok?  I know you are off Saturday, and my only lesson got cancelled so, I thought it would be perfect." I said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"That sounds great, babe.  I will be pleased to meet him." he said, kissing my cheek as he nestled his head against mine.

"Thank you." I breathed as I felt myself relax against his warmth.  He hummed in my ear in response, lulling me into such a sense of relaxation and security.  I fell asleep before I knew it, happy and content.

*******

"Now I am the one who is nervous." he chuckled as we walked hand in hand through the graveyard.

"No need.  He will be glad that you make me so happy. Just don't mention the living together thing." I laughed, swinging our arms as we walked.   As soon as we reached the grave, my heart grew a little heavy, wishing I was really introducing them.  I laid the flowers at his grave stone and patted it softly.

"It's me Jinyoung oppa.   I hope you have been seeing all the progress being made with your music!  Jaebum oppa put it online and it has hudreds of thousands of views already.  He recently sent the completed albums to some record companies to see if he could get someone to take the songs.   Oppa, I brought someone here today to meet you.  This is my boyfriend Hoseok.  If you have been paying attention at all, you know he is the love of my life and we are so happy together." I said, squeezing Hoseok's hand.  He had a very straight face as he stared at the grave, bowing down to it deeply.

"Pleased to meet you.  I only wish I deserved to be with her." he said quietly.

"Hobi!  Don't listen to him, he is amazing.  I know you guys would get along great.  I can't believe it's been almost one year to the day that I lost you.  I wish you were here, but I hope you are happy." I said, smiling down at the grave.  Hoseok stayed very somber, his face not cracking a single smile.  I looked up at him as he looekd at me, his eyes looking so sad.  I know he didn't like to see me missing my brother, and I knew this wouldn't be easy for him.  I decided to keep it short and sweet so he wouldn't feel like this.

"I love you, oppa.  I will come see you again soon." I said, before giving him a little bow.  Hoseok gave another deep bow before turning away with me.  I held his hand all the way back to the car but he didn't really seem much like talking.  He stayed quiet most of the ride back until we were almost home. 

"Babe, I have to run by the studio in a little bit, if it's ok with you.  I forgot that I took the CD with me for tonight's class and Jimin will need it." he said, as he stared down at his hands.

"Alright.  Do you want me to take you?" I asked as we arrived at the house.

"Nah, that's ok.  I won't be long." he replied as we got out of the car.

"Ok, I will make sure dinner is ready by time you get home.  Kimchi stew sound ok?" I asked, smiling at him.

"Sounds good." he replied, kissing me softly.   We actually took a little nap and when I woke up, there was a note waiting for me on the beside table, making me smile.

" _Didn't want to wake my sleeping beauty.  Ran out to the studio.  I will be home before you know it.  Love you."_

I held the note close to me for a moment before getting up and placing it in the top drawer of my dresser.  I had several little notes like this saved from our relationship that I liked to go back and read every now and then.  I hummed cheerfully to myself as I started to prepare dinner, thinking about how much my life had changed over the last year.  I was happy before it all happened, but this was a different kind of happy.  This was like the kind of happy you gained from doing what you knew you were supposed to be doing, being where you belonged.  It wasn't too much longer before I heard the front door shut, making  a grin automatically grow on my face.

"Baby, dinner is almost ready." I said, as I put the stew on low and walked out to the living room.  Hoseok stood there, looking like he had seen a ghost.  His eyes were red rimmed and puffy, his face pale.  I looked up at me as his chin started to wobble, him dropping to his knees.

"Hobi!" I said, running over to him and kneeling in front of him.  I held his face in my hands and searched his sad eyes as tears ran down his face. 

"I...I.....I" was all he could get out before sobs wracked his body.  I hugged him close to me and patted his back, wondering what could have brought this about.

"Did something happen?  What on earth is the matter?" I asked, trying to lean back and look at him.  He squeezed me tighter, making it impossible for me to look at him.  I just stayed there and softly rubbed his back as his tears started to drench my shirt.

"I...I can't....I don't.....want to....lose...you." he choked between sobs.

"You can't and won't ever lose me.  What made you think you could?  I promise, I'm not going to leave you." I said in a calming tone, putting  a hand on the back of his head and leaning his forehead into my shoulder.  He cried like that for a long while, heavy sobs causing his chest to heave.  He was borderline hyperventilating until I sat on the floor and pulled him down with me, making him stay close.

"Baby, I need you to breathe and relax." I said soothingly as I wiped his face and run my hands through his hair.  He nodded and closed his puffy eyes, looking so defeated.

"Come on, why don't you get up with me?  I will turn the soup off and we can just get in bed, ok?" I asked.  He nodded slowly, taking a deep, shuddering breath.  I helped him stand and to the bed, sitting him on the edge.  I quickly ran out to the kitchen and shut the soup off, and then ran back to the bedroom to see him still just sitting there in a daze.  I walked over slowly and pulled his shirt off of him.  I had him lay back on the bed and unbuttoned his jeans before slowly sliding them off.   I pulled the covers up over him before I took my own jeans off and slipped into bed beside him, holdig him close.

"Don't you want to tell me what's wrong?" I asked softly, running my fingers through his hair.  His poor swollen lip trembled slightly as he shook his head, letting out a soft sight.

"Not now. Tomorrow." he said softly, his voice barely a squeak. 

"Ok, baby, ok.  Just rest now.  You are safe with me." I said, wrapping my arms around him.  I didn't sleep at all that night, distraught over what could have possibly upset him in such a horrible way.  I watched my sleeping angel throught the night, making sure to hold him close.  When he woke the next morning, my eyes met his as soon as he woke.  He looked sad, but a little more composed, making me feel a little bit of relief.

"Good morning, sweetie." I said, running my thumb over his tear stained cheek.  He grabbed my hand softly and held it, just looking at my face before he let out a soft sigh.  He sat up slowly sitting on the edge of bed and hanging his head.  I sat up beside him and looked him over softly, wishing I could do something for him, but it was hard to when you didn't know what was wrong.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I asked, holding his hand.  He nodded slowly before looking up at me with teary eyes.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." he started softly.  I felt a lump already forming in my throat, anxious for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

"There are reasons I feel like I don't deserve to be happy, why I deserve to have died that day.  That day will always haunt me for the rest of my life.  March 15th was the worst day of my life." he said quietly.  I started feeling sick to my stomach.

"Mine too." I said quietly.

"I know.   But now it's so much worse.  When I wrecked that night, I didn't just crash into a pole or a wall.  I crashed into another vehicle.  I knew somoene died from it, but they would never tell me any more information than that.  But yesterday, I just knew.  When I saw the date of Jinyoung's death....." he said, his voice breaking.  I felt like I could vomit.  Surely he wasn't saying what I think he was saying.

"When I left here yesterday, I didn't go to the studio.  I looked up more information about the night of my accident.  I looked up news articles...and I confirmed what I knew to be the awful truth.  That night....I didn't only kill my mother....I killed your brother too." he said, barely above a whisper.  I stood up from the bed, running to the bathroom and emptying my stomach of everything , heaving over and over again.  As I stood up, I flushed to toilet and washed my mouth out with mouthwash.  I walked out on wobbly legs to see Hoseok just sitting there, tears streaming down his face.  I looked down at my discarded jeans and started to slide them on.  He got a look of terror in his face as he clenched at his chest, digging his nails into his skin around his heart.  I felt like my heart was broken and seeing him like that made it so much worse.

"H-hoseok.  Look...I'm...I'm not leaving you.  I promise...I just.....I need some air.  Ok?" I said, shaking as I buttoned my jeans.

"Please don't lie to me.  I know you probably never want to see my face again, and I don't blame you.  Just please....please tell me..." he almost whispered.  I sat back beside him on the bed and looked at him softly, trying to hold myself together.

"I am not lying.  I promise you with all my being I am not leaving you.  I really just need a little air and a minute to breathe, ok?   Do you believe me?" I said in an almost dead sounding voice.

"I b-believe you." he breathed.  I kissed him gently on the cheek before standing up and walking out to the living room.  I slipped on the first pair of shoes I saw and slipped my coat on before walking out into the cold.

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	26. T W E N T Y - S I X

I got out my phone and texted a few of the guys, asking them to go to my house for an emergency, and that Hoseok needed them.  They all responded immediately and that made me feel little more at ease.  I, in the meantime, had been driving around the neighborhood for a while, not knowing where to go.  I finally decided to call someone I knew I could escape to.

" _Hey, how's it going?"_

"J-Jaebum....are you busy?" I asked softly, my heart aching as soon as I heard his voice.

" _Not at all, just hainging around with my roommates.  Why, what's up?  Everything ok?"_

"N-no.  It's not ok.  Can I come over for a little bit?" I asked, my voice breaking a little bit.

_"Sure, of course.  Come on over right now."_

"I'm on my way." I whispered before hanging up.  I drove to his house as quickly as I could, trying so hard to hold it together.  As soon as he opened his door however, he saw my face and his turned soft immediately.

"Come on in." he said softly, wrapping his arm around me.  He took my coat off and looked at me, sadly.

"Hey, y/n!  Long time no see!" Mark said as he came around the corner.  I nodded and tried to give him a smile, but it probably looked pathetic.

"Whoa, is everything alright?" Youngjae asked, coming into the room.  I shook my head, biting my lip and trying so hard not to cry. 

"Do I need to kick someone's ass?" Jaebum asked, searching my face.  I started sobbing hard, covering my face with my hands, no longer able to hold back.  The dam burst and it felt like I would never stop crying.  Jaebum sat me down on the couch next to him and wrapped his arm around me, leaning me into him.  Mark and Youngjae left the room, giving us some privacy, which I greatly appreciated.  It took me a while before I was able to stop crying enough to talk to Jaebum, who just patiently sat there with me.

"I found out today...that Hoseok was the one who crashed into Jinyoung that night." I said, wiping my face on my hands.  His eyes went wide as he let out a long breath.

"Wow....just....wow." he said, patting my arm.

"Yeah." I said, softly.

"Do you want to break up with him?" he asked pointedly.

"No.  I don't.   I know it really was an accident.  He was really really sick and he was driving his even sicker mother to the hospital when he passed out at the wheel. It's not like he was driving drunk or something, it truly was an accident." I said, biting my lip.

"I see.  I know this can't be easy for you.  I know it wouldn't be for me.  But if you really love him, and it really was an accident,....you can get through this.  I know you can." he replied, grabbing my hand.  I nodded and squeezed his hand, looking up at him.

"I can.  I am still in a little bit of shock.  When he found out yesterday, he came home and cried for hours.  Literally hours.  He was so afraid to lose me and I think the guilt was eating him up.  I don't want him to feel guilty and I reassured him I wasn't leaving him." I said, sighing.

"If you really aren't leaving him, and you have no intent to, then I wouldn't stay gone for too long.  He will start to think you are definitely leaving." he said, patting the back of my hand with his other hand. 

"You're right.  I should probably get back.  Thank you for listening to me." I said, standing up and giving him a hug.

"Anytime.  We both know that Hoseok is a good guy, and I am very proud of you for being so strong through this and being able to move and look past it." he said, rocking me slightly before he let me out of the hug.  I thanked him again before heading home, feeling a tiny bit more at ease than I did when I left.  When I arrived at the house, Jimin and Jungkook were sitting in the living room with Hoseok, curled into a fetal position on the couch.  His head shot up and he sat straight up as soon as he saw me walk in the door.

"You came back?" he whispered, his eyes open wide.

"I told you...I'm not leaving you.  I'm not going anywhere, Hobi." I said softly.  He let out a strangled sob, wiping his face before the tears could fall.

"I think we better be going." Jimin said, standing up  with Jungkook quickly following.

"Thank you for coming, guys.  I appreciate it so much." I said, giving them both a quick hug.

"Not a problem." Jungkook said right before they slipped out of the door.

"You came back..." he said again, this time a soft cry.  I ran over to him and pulled him up off the couch, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

"I love you." I whispered in his ear as I felt my own tears falling.  He sobbed again, squeezing me so tightly it almost felt like I couldn't breathe. 

"Why?  How can you love a murderer like me?  Especially when I took someone so important from you?" he said, pulling his head back and looking at me with sorrowful eyes.  I held his face in my hands and searched those eyes that I had grown to love more than any other sight in this world.

"I will tell you what I always have.  It was an accident...just an accident.  You are not a bad person, and you are most certainly not a murderer.  It wasn't your fault, and I will never ever blame you for this." I said, running my thumbs over his cheeks.  He leaned in and kissed me hard, and desparately.  This was the kind of kiss you would imagine giving someone you thought you might never see again.  Maybe that is what he thought when I left, but it was so deep and passionate, it made me long for air, panting hard as he pulled away after a minute.

"I love you more than anything in this entire world." he said, holding me tightly.

"I feel the same for you." I said, kissing him softly.   He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck as he kissed me deeply.  He rested his hands under my ass for support as he walked to the bedroom, never breaking our kiss.  He laid me back on the bed and slid his tongue into my mouth, making me moan into his.  I felt him already aroused through his boxers as he grinded into me slightly, still kissing me passionately.  His hands roamed my body as he continued exploring my mouth with his tongue. 

"Hobi, make love to me." I breathed as he pulled away to catch his breath for a moment.  He nodded quickly as he reached down and fumbled with my jeans before quickly yanking them off.  It wasn't another few moments before he sunk into me, burying himself all the way inside me.  He moved slowly and sensually as he stared into my eyes. 

"You are beyond amazing." he grunted as he fastened his pace ever so slightly, thrusting into me by rolling his hips back and forth.

"You are everything to me." I groaned as I raked my fingers down his biceps.  I bit back moans as he snapped his hips just a little more abruptly, hitting my senstive spots.  He continued like this for a while, groaning and saying such sweet things to me until we both built up so close to our climaxes.

"Cum inside me, baby.  Cum deep in me."I groaned as I arched my back, feeling him throb hard.

"I'm cumming for you." he moaned, continuing to slowly roll his hips.  We both shook hard as we orgasmed at the same time, making us moan out each other's names.  We both curled into each other, him holding me against his heart.

"I really thought you would never want to see me again." he said softly, running his hand through my hair.

"I couldn't survive without you.  You are everything I've ever wanted, and more.  You are my world, Hoseok, and I would never leave." I said, listening to his hearbeat, feeling mine beat in unison with his.

"Even though I don't deserve you, or even see how you could still feel that way about me, I feel the same way about you.  You are my life." he said gently.  We stayed like that until we both fell fast asleep in each other's arms...where we belonged.

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	27. T W E N T Y - S E V E N

I opened my swollen eyes and felt relief at the sight in front of me.  There Hoseok laid, his eyes swollen from the previous day as well.  His face was relaxed, his mouth slightly open, his body leaning against mine.  I couldn't help but stare at him and take in his features.  It really did suck that he was the one that crashed into Jinyoung, but more for him than for me.  The end result was the same no matter who did it; Jinyoung was gone.  But with it being Hoseok, he already had the guilt of feeling like he killed his mother, but now having the added guilt of knowing he caused my brother's death...I can't imagine the pain he was going through.  I regretted leaving at all yesterday.  I should have just stayed by his side and reassured him.  I knew it was because I was in shock but I really knew I was already past this.  I watched him sleep for a while, every once in a while he twitched or furrowed his brow, but for the most part he slept peacefully.  Eventually the want to touch him overwhelmed me and I ran my fingers slowly and gently through his hair, pushing it off of his forehead.  I did that for a while, smiling at the sleeping angel beside me before I couldn't help it and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his slightly parted lips.  His eyes twitched slightly as they cracked open, him searching my face with groggy eyes.  I smiled so big at him, laying my hand on his cheek, feeling his soft warm skin against my palm.

"Good morning, my love."I said softly, kissing the tip of his nose.  He smirked slightly and closed his eyes again before stretching and letting out a sigh.

"Morning, babe.  Did you sleep ok?"He asked, his voice still rough and groggy from sleep.

"I did.  How about you?  Did you sleep ok?" I asked, kissing his other cheek, earning a slight chuckle out of him.

"Mhm, I did." I replied, giving me a soft smile. 

"I'm glad.  Look, I know I want to leave yesterday behind and move forward together...I just wanted to say that I wish I wouldn't have left the house at all.  I never want to leave you, never want to be without you.  I want you to promise me that you will not let this eat at you or make you feel guilty in any way at all. I will never ever hold this against you, or blame you.  You are a wonderful, caring and loving man who would never hurt anyone intentionally.  I love you from the bottom of my heart and you need to be reassured of that.  I will always be sure to tell you and show you how much I love you so you never forget." I said, staring straight into his eyes while I held his hand in mine. 

"I don't deserve you.  I really don't." he said quietly , giving me a sad smile.  I pulled him into me and rested his head on my chest, kissing the top of his head.  We laid there just like that for a lot of the morning, just holding each other close.  We finally got up after Hoseok's stomach started making all kinds of funny noises, making me giggle.  We took showers and decided to get something to eat. 

"So our one year anniversary is coming up pretty soon.  I wanted to tell you that I made plans for us for that day, if it's ok with you." he said, while we washed the dishes.

"I am up for whatever you planned, Hobi." I smiled, as I dried the dishes he washed.  Just then I heard my phone ringing back in the dining room.  I walked out and picked up to hear Jungkook on the other end.

_"Hey, I was just checking in to see how you guys were."_

"Thank you for checking, and thank you for yesterday.  We are good, everything is ok." I replied, smiling as I looked back out to Hobi, finishing up the dishes.

_"I'm glad to hear it.  He was in pretty bad shape yesterday.  I'm happy to hear you both are getting through this."_

"Thank you, Jungkook.  We are strong and in the end, it doesn't change anything between us." I replied.

_"Good.  You two are good for each other I think.  Alright, Tae is giving me the evil eye cause we were supposed to leave a few minutes ago, so I better go.  Just call or text if you need anything."_

"I will.  Have a good one, and thank you again." I said, as we said our goodbyes and hung up the phone. 

"Who was that?" he asked, walking over and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Jungkook.  He was just checking in on us." I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

"That was nice of you to call him and Jimin over yesterday.  See, even in all that chaos you were thinking of me." he said, rocking us side to side. 

"I always think of you." I replied, kissing his neck.   We just swayed side to side like that for a while until we decided to curl up on the couch and watch a movie together.  We wound up having a movie marathon all evening, broken up here and there for make out sessions.

"Are you happy baby?" he asked while we were watching a romantic comedy.

"Ecstatic.  What about you?  Are you happy?" I asked, squeezing his hand.

"You make me happier than should be allowed." he said as his huge smile that always got me weak, spread across his face.  I really was the luckiest person to have met him. 

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	28. T W E N T Y - E I G H T

"You know, for as long as I have lived here, I have never been to this amusement park.  But I always thought this would be a good place to bring you one day." he smiled as we got out of the car.

"I have only been here one time, and I was really little.  I just remember going on the teacups and Jinyoung spun it so fast and wouldn't stop until I was puking my guts up." I laughed, shaking my head.

"That doesn't sound like a fond memory." he said, as he took my hand and led me to the ticket window.

"It was.  And this will be too, as long as we don't have to go on the teacups." I replied, as he chuckled.  He bought us both entry and we walked through the gates hand in hand.  We went on a few of the smaller rides, avoiding the roller coasters, as neither of us were a big fan of them.  We passed by the booths to see a little girl crying and rubbing her eyes.  She looked like she couldn't have been more than four or five.  Hoseok stopped walking and squatted down to her level.

"Why are you crying, sweetie?" he asked in the softest and most gentle sounding voice I had ever heard come from him. 

"I lose my mommy and daddy." she cried, hiccuping and rubbing her wet little face.

"Aw, I am sure they are close by.  Do you want to come with me and my girlfriend and we can find her?" he asked, offering his hand to her.  She sniffled and nodded as she continued to rub her face.  This little girl was surprisingly trusting as she allowed him to scoop her up and carry her in his arms.

"I tell you what, while we look for them, how about some ice cream?" I said, trying to keep her from breaking down again. Her little lip went from quivering to a slight smile as she nodded her head.

"Yes pwease." she replied.  I payed for a small ice cream cone and handed it to her as we headed to the office at the park.  When we arrived we opened the door to see two very distraught looking parents, the mother in tears.

"Is that your mommy and daddy?"Hoseok asked, drawing her attention.

"MOMMY!" she squealed as Hoseok put her down.  She ran over as her mother and father squatted down and wrapped her up in their arms.

"Thank you for finding her." her father said, bowing to us.

"I am just glad you got her back." Hosoek smiled.  We bowed to them as they repeatedly thanked us and offered us money and other things as a reward.  We continually refused until we got out of there, continuing back to the booths.

"You are going to make such a good dad one day."I smiled, swinging our hands slightly.

"You think so?" he asked, looking over at me with a big smile.

"I know so.  The way you interacted with her melted me just a bit." I replied.  He laughed at me as we made our way back to where we found her.   Hoseok played a couple of the games and won me a blue teddy bear that I tucked in my free arm and held close while we walked.  We really enjoyed the afternoon and into the evening being carefree and experiencing this together.  As our last ride of the evening, we decided on the farris wheel.  We both climbed in as he nervously shifted.

"You ok?" I asked, worried about his demeanor. 

"Yeah, just not a huge fan of heights." he chuckled.

"Do you want to borrow my bear?" I asked, giggling.  He laughed and stuck out his tongue at me as I teased him.  Instead he held my hand as we looked out at the beautiful view, the ride stopping every so often for a minute so the people below could get on and off. 

"Oh God, please don't stop at the top." he murmured but as luck would have it, we stopped dead at the top, our bucket swinging ever so slightly. 

"But look, Hobi!  Look out at the beautiful view.  Don't look down, look out." I said, pointing in the direction of the sunset.  It was breathaking to see the sun painting the horizon all shades of pink, orange and deep yellows. 

"I know this is nothing in comparison, but I hope you think it's beautiful too." I heard him say beside me.  I turned to look at him to see him holding a ring in his hand.  I swallowed hard and heard my heart start hammering in my ears.  My eyes went wide as my eyes went back and forth from the ring to him.

"Hoseok..." I breathed.

"Baby, I can't picture my life without you.  You are my life, and I would be nothing without you.  I want to be with you forever and always, and I would love to do that with you as my wife.  Would you do the immense honor of marrying me?" he asked, searching my face, his set in a worried expression. 

"Yes, of course I will marry you." I shouted in happiness as he broke out into relieved giggles.  He slipped the ring onto my finger and wrapped me in his arms, kissing me over and over again.

"Here, let's take a picture to send the guys." he said, leaning his head on mine.  I laughed and wiped a happy tear away as he held up his phone. 

"Did they know you were going to do this?" I asked after he snapped the photo.

"Yeah, they did actually.  They are gonna flip their shit." he laughed, as he put his phone back in his pocket.

"Hobi, I love you." I said, kissing his cheek softly.

"I love you too, my fiance." he replied.  We wound up making out passionately most of the rest of the ride until we were a few buckets away from the bottom.  We stopped to try to gain some composure, fix our hair and give his boner a chance to die down a little bit.  You would think after all this time together, the flame would start to lessen some, but our passion and love for each other burned brighter and brighter with every passing day.   Just knowing that fact made me beyond excited to know that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.

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	29. T W E N T Y - N I N E

The guys all cheered as we walked into Jungkook and Taehyung's apartment.  It was the first time we had gotten together since the engagement, and they were thrilled for us. 

"That picture you guys sent us was so cute." Jin said, smiling as I sat on Hoseok's lap.

"I have to say, I am so glad that you guys are still together.  We worried so much at first, when...well you know." Jimin said softly.

"I was scared shitless." Hoseok replied, his hands squeezing my hips where he held me.

"I know you were.  I don't think I've ever seen someone that distraught in my life." Jungkook said, looking at him with sad eyes.

"I can't imagine how you both felt." Yoongi said quietly.

"It was just a lot to process at the moment.  I had to take a moment to breathe and collect my thoughts.  Like I said to Hobi, the end result is the same.  The fact that it happened to be him that had the accident doesn't change anything.  Jinyoung is still gone, Hoseok's mom is still gone,  and it was all just a horrible accident.  I would never even think to blame him." I said, turning my head to look at my fiance.  He took one of my hands in his and brought it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the back.

"See, you two are so meant to be." Taehyung replied, while grabbing Jungkook's hand and holding it.

"I think so." Hoseok said, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. 

"I know so." I said, smiling big at him. 

"Jin, I don't know if we can compete with that." Namjoon laughed, patting his fiance's leg.

"Maybe not, but I still think we are pretty amazing." Jin winked.

"You both are, really.  Hobi and I always talk about how cute you guys and Tae and Jungkook are." I smiled.

"Almost everyone here are couples." Jungkook giggled, looking over at Jimin.

"Well..." Jimin started.

"Shut it, Jimin." Yoongi said, without looking up from his phone. 

"Oh no you don't!! You started that scentence, you better finish it!" Jin shouted, looking between the two of them.  Jimin looked at Yoongi, making his eyes all big and pouting out his lips.

"Pretty please???" he asked, clasping his hands together.  Yoongi rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

"Alright..." he muttered in defeat.

"Yoongi and I have gone on three dates now and we are officially boyfriends!" Jimin almost squealed.

"Shut up!!!" Tae hollered, getting so excited.  Jimin smiled so big, and giggled looking over at Yoongi.  He just shook his head, getting a little gummy smile, eventually chuckling at Jimin.

"Get over here." Yoongi said, wrapping his arm around Jimin's shoulders as Jimin leaned onto him. 

"Oh my God, this is so cute!!" Jungkook said, snapping a picture on his cell. 

"Have you guys done it yet?" Namjoon asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yah!" Yoongi almost growled, shooting him a dirty look.  Jimin wiggled in his seat, turning pink.  He glanced over at Namjoon and held up two fingers, mouthing "twice".  The room erupted in laughter as Yoongi just sat there looking irritated.

"Yoongs looks so pissed, I bet we know who bottomed!" Jungkook laughed.  If looks could kill, Jungkook would be six feet under, as Yoongi started to get up in his direction.

"Jagi, don't mind them." Jimin said, putting his hand on Yoongi's chest and stopping him from standing.  Yoongi sighed and sat back down, looking at Jimin.   His entire demeanor changed while staring at Jimin, his eyes softening and a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"You guys really are cute together.  Congratulations." I said, unable to stop smiling at the two.

"Thank you, Noona!" Jimin grinned, lacing his fingers with Yoongi's.

"So we have two things to celebrate, the new couple and the new engagement!" Tae smiled, looking back and forth between us.

"Actually we have a third thing we can kinda celebrate." Namjoon said, patting Jin's thigh.

"We set a date for the wedding!" Jin said, beaming.

"That's awesome!! Congratulations!" Hoseok laughed.  As we continued chattering away about future weddings and funny things about our relationships, I couldn't help but feel so light and happy and the amount of love that was in the room.    When we returned home later that night, Hoseok and I curled up in bed, cuddling each other close.  I loved to just lay on his chest and listen to his heart beating, so thankful that he gave it to me. 

"So, Hobi, there is something I want to tell you." I said as I ran my fingers gently across his chest.

"What is it, baby?" he asked, kissing my forehead.

"So, I told my parents that we are engaged this morning.  They seemed really happy for me, and they wanted to have us over for dinner next week.  Would that be ok with you?" I asked, looking up at him.  The last time he saw my mom, he felt so incredibly guilty because of knowing about Jinyoung, that he broke down and had an anxiety attack.  I didn't want to put him through that again if he wasn't up for it.

"Yeah, that sounds nice.  Just let me know what day, and I will make the time." he said, smiling down at me.  I smiled and let out a soft breath of relief, hoping that he finally was starting to let go of this guilt.  I scooted up and placed a soft kiss on his lips, making him close his eyes and let out a hum of approval.  We kissed softly like that for several minutes, until he pulled back, grinning.

"Love you, my beauitful fiance." he grinned, softing his cheek.

"I love you too, jagi." I smiled, placing a single kiss on his chest. 

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	30. T H I R T Y

"Everything smells so good." I said as we took our shoes off at the door.

"I made all of your favorites!  Hello honey, and good to see you." my mom said, walking over and giving me a kiss on the cheek before wrapping me in a hug.

"Good to see you too, Eomma." I replied, melting into her hug.  It didn't matter how old I got, being hugged like that by my mom always made me feel safe.

"And you too, Hoseok...or should I say, my son?" she beamed, taking him in her arms.  He looked uncomfortable for a moment, but then quickly smiled and embraced her, rocking her side to side for a moment.

"Thank you, you too." he replied, kissing her cheek. 

"Ahh, you got a good one." my mom grinned, winking at me.

"Oh trust me, I know.  Where is Appa?" I asked, looking around.

"He is running late.  You know how his work schedule is.   But he is certainly looking forward to meeting you, Hoseok." she replied, leading us both into the living room.

"Poor Appa.  Have they lightened up on his workload any at all?" I asked, as we sat on the couch.

"A little bit.  He is home a little more often, but you know your appa." she sighed, sitting across from me and Hoseok.

"So, have you guys talked about the big day?  Any thoughts?" she asked excitedly.  Hoseok looked at me and laced his fingers in mine before looking back at my mom.

"We have, actually.  We were leaning toward the fall.  We have friends that are getting married this summer, so we wanted to wait for them out of respect, since they have been together much longer than we have." He replied, squeezing my hand.  He was absolutely beaming, talking about our wedding. It was still surreal, thinking about how by this time next year, I would be his wife.

"The fall would be perfect!  Oh, I can't wait!! It's going to be so exciting!!!" she said, clapping her hands.  When I was little, she would always talk excitedly with me about one day when I would get married.  I think she had been planning this day for a long time.  The door opened up to reveal my father, looking tired, but offering us a warm smile.

"Appa!"I smiled, standing up and giving him a big hug. 

"Hello, my sweet girl.  I'm happy you both are here." he said, kissing my forehead and patting my hair.  He looked at Hoseok with a grin and offered his hand out to him.  Hoseok gave him a firm shake and smiled, even though I could tell he was very nervous.

"Good to see you, sir." Hoseok said as he stepped back beside me.  I held his hand and gave it a little squeeze, hoping he would feel some reassurance.

"Come, let's all eat." my mom smiled, getting up and ushering us all into the dining room.  We sat around and had pleasant conversation, really enjoying the evening.  Hoseok seemed to loosen up as the evening went on, and my dad really did seem to take a liking to him.  By the end of the night, as we were leaving, Hoseok let out a sigh with a smile on his face.

"What is it, baby?" I asked, as we climbed into the car.

"It just feels good to be part of a family again." he replied, tugging at my heartstrings.

"I'm sure my parents are happy to have you in the family too." I responded, patting his leg. 

"So, when are you thinking for the wedding?  Late September, early October?" he asked, sliding his hand over my thigh slightly.

"Either sounds good to me.  Honestly, I don't care when it is, as long as I get to marry you, I'm happy." I replied.

"Me too.  I'm actually really excited for Jin and Namjoon's wedding." he responded.

"I am too!  Jin stopped by the other day and asked my opinion on stuff.  He said he doesn't have a lot of girl friends and most guys are not interested in the details so much, so he wanted my opnion.  It was so cute though.  He got all emotional and almost cried just talking about it.  He is definitely going to bawl like a baby on the big day." I giggled.

"Oh, that's for sure.  Shit, I'm probably going to cry on our big day." he replied, laughing.

"I know I will.  I will try not to, but I know I will." I agreed. 

"Well, at least they will be happy tears." he said sweetly as he ran his thumb back and forth over my leg.  As we pulled in the house and started to walk to the house, Hoseok started playfully smacking my ass.

"Hobi, someone might see!" I whisper shouted at him as I started walking faster.

"I don't care!  This is my ass to smack!" he laughed, continuing to keep up with me and smack it and grope it a little.  I opened the door quickly and as we both walked inside, he smacked both cheeks at the same time, grabbing at my ass afterward.  I giggled before I took off running, him laughing and trying to keep up with me.

"Bring that ass back here!" he laughed, chasing me around the living room furniture.

"You have to catch it first!" I almost squealed as he got so close to grabbing me.  I ran into our bedroom and on the far side of the bed.

"Big mistake now!" he laughed, charging toward me.  I jumped up on the bed and off the other side, trying to run back out to the living room, but he was too quick.  He wrapped me from behind in his arms, making me laugh hard.  He pulled me back and tossed me onto the bed. I still laughed and started to sit up and try to get away, but he pushed me back down and climbed on top of me, straddling my hips.  I laughed and tried to push him off until he pinned my hands down on each side of my head breathing heavily with a huge smile on his face.

"You caught me." I said, out of breath, still giggling.   He leaned down and pecked my cheeks, then my forehead and nose, and finally landing on my lips, kissing me sweet and soft.

"You bring so much joy to my life, do you know that?" he said, letting go of my wrists and using one hand to softly brush his finger over my cheek.

"And you bring so much joy to mine.  I love you Jung Hosoek." I smiled, feeling my heart swell so much.

"I love you too, future Mrs. Jung." he chuckled, leaning down and kissing me again. 

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	31. T H I R T Y - O N E

"I am so nervous!" Jin said, fiddling with his hands.  He had barely been able to sit still at all today.

"Don't be!  Tomorrow will be great.  You have put me in charge of the last minute stuff so I will be sure to run interference.  If something happens, God forbid, I will be sure to handle it.  You don't worry about a thing except showing up and marrying the man of your dreams." I said, taking one of his hands away and patting it.  He smiled at me and let out a shaky sigh.  He decided to spend the night before the wedding at our house, so that way he wouldn't see Namjoon until the ceremony. 

"Yoongi is picking up the flowers, right?" he asked, chewing on his lip.  I laughed and stood up, walking over to my kitchen.

"Jin, stop stressing.  Yes, he is getting the flowers, I confirmed with him this morning.  You need to relax." I said, getting out a bottle of wine, and pouring him a glass.

"You say that now!  You wait until it's your big day!  I will be the one telling you to calm down." he said, taking the wine from me and taking a few big swallows.

"Don't worry!!  You have planned this out meticulously.  Everything is accounted for, down to the last rose petal.  It will be perfect, trust me.  And Namjoon has his end of things, and he told me he finished his vows last week." I responded.   Jin's eyes got huge as he looked up at me, panic written all over his face.

"Oh my God, my vows!!! OH MY GOD!!! How could I forget my vows?!?!" he shouted, going into full blown panic mode.  I grabbed his wine glass and put it on the coffee table before taking both hands and squeezing them tightly.

"Jin, breathe!   Take a deep breath and let it out slowly." I said, staring at him intensely.  He nodded slightly as he sucked in a big breath and slowly let it out, his eyes closing as he did.

"Ok, now this is the easy part.  You know how you feel about Namjoon, and you know how much you love him.  Let it come from the heart and you will get these out in no time." I said, smiling at him.  He nodded shakily as a weak smile came on his face. 

"A-alright.  I can do this." he said, sounding less than convincing.

"Let's forget about writing your vows for a second." I said, getting out my phone.  I secretly pressed the record button for a voice memo, and shut the screen off.  I wanted him to just relax and talk about Namjoon, hoping vows would come sprouting from it.  I placed my phone down on the table in front of us and turned to face him.

"How can I forget?!  The wedding is tomorrow!!" he said, still sounding a bit panicked.

"Seokjin!  Just for a second." I said, urging him to breathe and calm down again. 

"Sorry, I just can't believe I was so stupid as to forget something like that.  I guess I just got so busy trying to iron out the rest of the details that I forgot." he sighed, running his hand down his face.

"You have put so much of yourself into this wedding. It really shows how much you love Namjoon." I replied, giving him a smile.  He grinned slightly and took another sip of the wine, before looking toward the ceiling, starry eyed.

"You know, the first time I saw him, he completely and fully captivated me.  I was asked to come into the studio to sing for a different producer, Yoongi actually.  As I was on my way, Yoongi called to say that he had to rush out due to an emergency at home, but that his producer friend was there and to go ahead and sing.  I agreed and when I walked in and saw him, I swear time stood still for a good minute.  He was so handsome and his smile, with those dimples, it made me almost swoon.  By time the end of that studio session ended, it was pretty late.  He wanted to thank me for letting him take his time, and asked me to go for coffee with him.  From that moment on, I fell for every little thing I learned about him; like even how he is clumsy as hell, and that he will dance silly on purpose, just to make me laugh.  He really is the love of my life, and I feel like that day that I met him, I truly felt complete, that I had met my other and better half." Jin said, a big, warm smile on his face.

"Jin, there are your vows, right there." I said, smiling.

"What?  Really?  Well, shit, what all did I say?" he asked, laughing. 

"Don't worry.  I was hoping once you started to relax, you would start talking and sure enough, that was perfect.  I recorded it on my phone so I will send you the audio file." I giggled, turning my screen back on and attaching the clip to a text message.

"Wow, hah!  Thanks!" he said, getting out his cell phone.

"Yeah, just add the promises at the end that you want to make to Namjoon about your future and bam!  There you go!" I said, relaxing back into the couch.

"That's easy.  I still can't believe that by this time tomorrow, I will be Kim Seokjin...wait well I already am but....oh you know what I mean!" he said, both of us laughing.

******

"That was such a gorgeous ceremony." I said, as Hoseok and I slowly danced in each other's arms during a slow song.

"It really was.  Jin held it together pretty well, but Namjoon was the real surprise. I didn't expect him to blubber like that!" Hoseok chuckled as we watched the newlywed couple dance, staring into each other's eyes.

"They are so happy.  It makes me so ready for our day." I said, leaning onto Hoseok's shoulder.  He kissed my cheek, making me lift my head back up with a big grin on my face.

"You look so lovely.  You realize you may make my heart stop at our wedding." he smiled, biting his lip slightly. 

"Oh shush." I giggled, my face getting hot.  He laughed, and kissed my cheek as we leaned into each other and continued to dance slowly.  We danced the night away with all of our friends, in pure bliss.  Happy occasions don't always come around, but when they do, we tried to hold on to the joy as long as possible.

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	32. T H I R T Y - T W O

Everyone being in a peaceful relationship didn't last too much longer.  To my dismay, one day after a piano lesson, I got home to see Jimin sitting on the steps to our house, his knees drawn up to his face, his head hanging down.

"Jimin, is everything ok?" I asked as I walked up to him.  He lifted his face up and I could immediately tell he had been crying.  His eyes were all red and watery, his lips swollen and his little nose was all red.  He shook his head, his chin wobbling, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"Come inside, please." I said, offering him my hand.  He nodded and took it as I led him in our house and shut the door.  I walked him over to the couch and sat down with him.  I dropped his hand and reached for the tissue box on the side table, grabbing it and handing it to him.

"Thank you." he said softly, his voice sounding weak.  He grabbed a tissue and touched it to the corner of his eyes, before letting out a shuddering sigh.

"Hoseok won't be home for another couple of hours, but did you want to talk about it?" I asked, looking at him with endearment.  He looked at me and opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again really quickly while shutting his eyes.  He let out a long breath and then opened his eyes, looking at me with such pain in his eyes.

"Yoongi is gonna break up with me." he said, his voice breaking at the end.

"Why would you think that, Jimin?" I asked, scooting a little closer to him.  He looked so defeated, and it hurt. 

"It's all a big misunderstand but he won't listen to me!" he finally sobbed, covering his face with his hands.  I sat directly next to him and wrapped my arm around his shoulders, leaning him on mine.  I softly ran my hand over his arm telling him to breathe as sobs wracked his body.   He cried like this for I swear close to an hour, and I was surprised he still had any tears left.

"What happened?" I asked after his sobs had calmed down to a gentle cry.

"Ok, so my friend Taemin is also a choreographer.  Yoongi knows Taemin, and he knows we are just friends.  Well, Taemin has some clients that are getting ready to perform in a dance competition as a duet, and that has put a ton of pressure on him.  He came by the studio after my classes and said he had the choreo done, but he wanted to practice with another professional so he could get my opinion on it, and see if it needed tweaking.  It was kind of a sexy dance during parts of it, and at one point, he stood there with his legs spread, one of my legs was wrapped around the outside of his hips, and he ran his hand kinda sorta down the side of my face.  That's when Yoongi walked in, and when he saw that, I saw him get teary eyed and he stormed out.  I called after him and tried to follow him but he left.  I have called him dozens of times, texted him over a hundred times and he isn't even looking at them.  I went by the house and a lot of his clothes are missing.  I'm so scared he left me!" Jimin started sobbing again, turning his face into my shoulder.

"Don't worry.  I'm sure someone knows where he is.  Did you check with anyone else?" I asked, patting his back.

"I couldn't get a hold of Seokjin hyung, and H-Hoseok hyung is teach a class.  Tae and Jungkook are on their two year anniversary trip, so they are unreachable." he sniffled, his eyes all glossy.

"I tell you what...he probably is with Namjoon, probably as upset as you are since he thinks the wrong thing.  Let's try him next, ok?" I said, getting out my phone.   He nodded as he blew his nose into a tissue, between his hiccups.  I dialed Namjoon, praying he wasn't busy at the studio, and that he had heard from Yoongi.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Joon!  Are you busy?" I asked, praying he wasn't.

_"Nah, I've got the day off.  What's up?"_

"Have you heard from Yoongi?" I asked, as Jimin stifled a sob.

_"Yeah, he's here crashing on the couch.  I don't know what's going on but he seems in a piss mood.  He hasn't really said anything but I'm assuming he and Jimin fought, cause he brought a bag and asked to stay here for a few days."_

"Shit.  Jimin is over here crying his eyes out, and it's all because of a misunderstanding.  Is there any way you will let me talk to Yoongi?" I asked, almost crossing my fingers.

_"I will see if he will....Yoongs, Y/N is calling, wanting to talk to you.....ok, here he is."_

"Thanks Joon." I said, letting out a slight sigh.  I squeezed Jimin's hand, nodding to him as he wiped fresh tears off of his face.  He looked so pitiful, it broke my heart.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Yoongi.  How are you holding up?" I started, slowly.

_"I'm assuming you heard from Jimin."_

"I did.  Look, I don't have any right to interefere in your business but I am begging you to please hear him out.  It was all a misunderstanding." I replied.

_"Pretty hard to misunderstand what I saw."_

I swear I heard his voice breaking a few times, making me feel bad for the both of them.

"I know it looked bad, I do.  But please, hear him out.  He has been here at my house crying his heart out.  Please either call him, or even better, come over here so you two can talk it out.  You have been friends for a long time, before you became more, and don't you think you owe it to your relationship with him to give him the benefit of the doubt and at least hear him out?" I asked softly.  The line was quiet for another couple minutes before he let out a sigh.

_"Alright, I'll be there in ten."_

"Thank you, Yoongi." I said as I hung up.  Jimin looked at me with hopeful, watery eyes.

"He's coming over in a few minutes." I said, giving Jimin a sad smile.

"Thank you, Noona!" he cried, flinging his arms around me, crying hard.  I patted his back as I heard the door open.  Hoseok stood there, his eyes wide, looking at me while I held Jimin.  Jimin's head jerked up to think it was Yoongi, only to sob some more.

"What....what happened?" Hoseok asked, walking over and sitting on the other side of his friend.

"Big misunderstanding and Yoongi stormed off.  He's coming over to talk to Jimin in a minute." I replied.  He nodded and took one of Jimin's hands, patting it with his own.

"Don't worry, it will all be alright." Hoseok said, trying to reassure Jimin.

"Thanks hyung." he said, sniffling and wiping his eyes again.  Just then there was a soft knock at the door.  Jimin looked at it with his eyes already welling up.  I urged him to be the one to answer it, as he nodded and ran over to the door.  When he opened it, Yoongi didn't look much better than Jimin.  He had obviously been crying as well, and he broke when he saw Jimin.  He started sobbing almost as badly as Jimin was, covering his face with his hands as he stood in the open doorway.  Jimin wrapped his arms around Yoongi and pulled him close, kissing the outside of his hands that covered his face.  Hoseok scooted closer to me and held my hand looking at me almost teary eyed himself.

"Hyung, I love you.  Only you!  Taemin was choreographing a duet for his clients and he needed another professional dancer's opinion.  What you saw was just a couple seconds of the choreography, I promise.  That's it.  You can confirm it with him if you want, and I can even show you the whole dance with him if you want to see what I mean. Please Yoongi, please believe me!  I can't be without you." Jimin broke down sobbing.  Yoongi pulled his hands away from his face and wrapped them around Jimin, kissing Jimin's tears off of his wet face.

"I'm sorry Jagi.  I shouldn't have jumped to any conclusions.  I should have given you the benefit of the doubt, and I'm so sorry.  I love you too Jiminie. Can you forgive me?" Yoongi asked, his voice breaking.  Jimin started kissing him hard and fast, and at that point I looked away to Hoseok, leaning my head on  his shoulder.

"Of course I forgive you.  Just promise me you won't ever leave me again." Jimin replied.  I turned back to see them both smiling and holding each other close.  They stood that way for several minutes until I heard Yoongi clear his throat as he looked up at Hoseok and I.

"Sorry about all this." he said, giving an embarrassed shrug.

"It's ok.  We're just glad you two are ok." Hoseok smiled, as he squeezed my hand.

"Thank you for helping me Noona." Jimin replied, offering me a sweet smile while he laced his hand with Yoongi's. 

"Like Hobi said, we are just glad you two are ok.  You know you can always come to us." I replied, smiling back.  Yoongi and Jimin left minutes later, and Hoseok and I relaxed into the couch, leaning on one aonther.

"Well, you had an eventful day." he chuckled as I straddled his lap.

"It was heart breaking to see Jimin like that.  It made me appreciate what we have even more." I said, holding his face in my hands.

"It does.  Why don't you let me take you to the room and show you just how much I appreciate you?" he smiled smugly.  I nodded and kissed him softy as I felt our warm bodies melt into each other. 

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	33. T H I R T Y - T H R E E

The wedding was less than three weeks away, and I was in a good mood constantly.  So was Hoseok.  He walked around humming and dancing and laughing all the time.  I loved seeing him so happy, it really made my day.  I would catch myself distracted all the time, thinking about him non stop.  That didn't sound like much of a problem, until it was during inconvenient times, like in the middle of piano lessons. 

"You're doing it again." Taeyeon giggled as I shook my head and looked down at her.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep zoning out." I said, as I thumbed through the sheet music.

"It's ok.  I know you are daydreaming about your boyfriend." she teased, covering her smile.

"How do you know that?" I asked, winking at her.

"You look like one of those cartoons that has hearts for eyes." she laughed. 

"Alright, you caught me.  I promise, when I come back from my honeymoon, I won't be this distracted. " I said, handing her some new sheet music.

"Cause you will be married, right?" she asked, placing the music on the piano and looking at it with a scrunched up face.

"Right.  Now, does this one seem too difficult?" I asked, as she started plinking around with one of her hands.

"Mmmm I don't think so.  It does look a little bit harder but I think I can do it." she said, nodding.

"Good.  Well, I will see you next Thursday for your last piano lesson before I am gone for a few weeks.  Make sure you practice hard.  If you get the right hand down before next week, I will be sure to get you something on my honeymoon." I smiled, patting her head.

"Really?!  Can you bring me a seashell from the beach?" she asked, standing up and walking with me to the door.

"Of course.  I'll see you next week, Taeyeon." I smiled as she walked me out of her house.  As I reached my car, my phone started ringing, and picked up to hear Jin fussing at Namjoon.

"Hello?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

_"AHH! Ok, sorry.  Your dress came in, your dress came in!!! You have to come to my house and try it on!"_

"Ok, I just finished with a piano lesson. I can stop by now, if you are home." I said, trying to contain my excitement.

_"Yes!! Yes come right now!!!"_

"Alright, I will be there in a minute." I laughed, hanging up the phone with a squeal.  
  


*****

"Are you one hundred percent certain about this?  It doesn't look too revealing?" I called from the bathroom after finishing up pulling on my dress.

"Nonsense! Now get your butt out here!" Jin called from the living room.  I opened the door slowly and walked out of the hallway into the living room, as Jin put his hands over his mouth, stifling a gasp.

"Joonie, look at her!" he said, getting choked up.

"You look beautiful.  Hoseok is gonna fall over himself when he sees you in that." Namjoon grinned.

"Wait, wait show him the back." Jin said, wiping a tear away. 

I turned around and looked over my shoulder at them both, not able to keep the grin off of my face.

"Oh yeah, Hoseok's gonna cream his pants." Namjoon laughed, making Jin smack him.

"I can still keep the dress here until the big day, right?" I asked, turning back around.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Jin said, smiling at me softly.

"Alright, let me get this dress back off." I grinned, walking back into the bathroom.  I changed back into my clothes and carefully put my dress back in the garment bag.  As I walked out with it, Jin took it from me and walked to their guest room, hanging it in the closet.

"I think you made the right decision with no veil.  I don't know what that saleswoman was thinking." he said, shaking his head.

"She was just trying to get more on her comission I think." I laughed, as he turned back around.

"I still can't believe it's almost here!" he said, clapping his hands.  I was interrupted by my phone ringing, looking to see my father calling me.  I held up one finger to Jin and answered the phone.

"Appa!  I'm glad to hear from you." I said, as Jin nodded and walked out of the room.

 _"I wish I could say this was a good call, but it's not_."

"What is it?  What's wrong?" I asked, feeling a nervous knot in the pit of my stomach.

_"I am afraid I cannot allow this wedding to go on."_

"Wait, what?!" I almost shouted.

_"I cannot allow you to marry that boy."_

"Why all the sudden now?  What is your problem?" I asked, getting defensive of my Hobi.

_"He killed your brother."_

"I know he was the one that crashed into Jinyoung that night.  That isn't changing anything." I said, firmly.

_"What?! You knew and yet you still are marrying him?!  How can you marry your bother's killer?!?!  I forbid it!"_

"Forbid it?? First off, I am not a child anymore, so you cannot forbid me from doing anything.  Secondly, yes I knew.  It was an accident and nothing more! He is not a killer!!  I am marrying him, Appa.  I love him and he loves me and that's all that matters!" I shouted.  He was silent for a moment until I heard a hard sigh on the other end.

_"You are right, I can't forbid you, but I can refuse to be there to participate.  If you marry that boy, I cannot support it."_

"Appa, if you love me in any way, you will accept him.  You already lost your son, and if you refuse, you are going to lose your daughter as well." I growled into the phone, angry tears rolling down my face.

 _"So be it."_ he said as the line went dead.  I held my hands up to my face, stifling my cries.  Jin peeked back around the corner, a sad look on his face.  I looked up at him and wiped my tears away , sniffling and trying to pull myself together.

"What excatly happened?" he asked me softly, taking my hands in his, leading me out to the living room.  Namjoon turned off the t.v. and sat up more, looking at us with concern.

"He is refusing to accept my marriage because he found out Hoseok is the one that crashed with Jinyoung that night.  He is saying that he won't be at my wedding. I told him if he didn't accept it, he would lose me and all he could say was "so be it." I cried, wiping a few tears away.

"What an asshole." Namjoon grumbled.  Jin shot him a look and then looked back at me softly.

"While Joonie shouldn't say that, I agree with his viewpoint.  I'm so sorry, y/n." he said, patting my hands.

"He won't even be there to give me away on the most important day of my life." I said, wiping my tears.

"Then that is his loss.  You know you have all of us, any of whom would be happy to give you away.  You won't be alone, I can promise you that." he said, wiping a tear off of my face.  I hugged him and sniffled onto his shoulder.

"Thank you Jin.  You guys are the best." I said, letting out a soft sigh. 

"Now, enough sadness and let's get back to happy.  I refuse to let anything or anyone put a damper on this joyous occasion!" he said, giving me a beaming smile.  I laughed and wiped the last remnants of tears out of my eyes, as he grabbed the wedding binder off of the coffee table.  

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	34. T H I R T Y - F O U R

"Hobi, I'm home." I hollered as I walked in the door, kicking my shoes off. 

"There is my baby!" He said, running over and picking me up, spinning me around.

"What a greeting." I giggled, kissing his cheek.

"Jin called me when you left and told me what happened.  I am so so sorry that this happened to you, and that I am the cause of all of this." he said, getting serious for a moment, his face falling.

"No!  Stop that!  Don't you ever say that again! It's his own fault if he is gonna be an asshole." I said, swatting at his chest. 

"Alright, alright." he said, kissing my forehead and drawing me close to his chest.

"On the way home, I decided I'm going to ask Jaebum if he will walk me down the isle." I said, nuzzling into his neck.

"I'm sure he is going to be more than happy to do that for you." he said, squeezing me tightly. 

"The dress came in today." I smiled, pulling back to look at him.

"I can't wait to see you in it." he grinned, kissing me softly. 

*****

I rolled over in the night and felt a vacant spot where Hoseok usually is, making me worry.

"Hobi, babe?" I called, my voice scratchy sounding.  I heard footsteps as he padded back into the room from the bathroom, looking down at me.

"Sorry, I just was....restless." he said, biting his lip.

"Oh...well you know you can always wake me up for that.  I don't mind." I smiled, patting the bed beside me.

"I know you say that, but I don't like waking my sleeping beauty cause I got a boner that won't go away in the middle of the night." he chuckled, sliding back into bed.

"Yeah, but when you wake me up in the middle of the night for this, it reminds me of that first night we slept in bed together, remember?" I grinned as I got up on my knees and slid him out of his boxers and sweatpants. 

"Mmmm mhm, I do remember.  I was so nervous when you t-touched me like th-this." he grunted as I started stroking his rock hard member. 

"I was nervous too, but the way you squirmed around, and moaned for me...it made me so excited." I said, looking up at him as I started to lean my  mouth closer to the wet head.

"You are so sexy." he breathed, staring down at me intensely.  I gave a few light licks to his head, making him fist the sheet in his hand.  I slid my tongue over it quickly as I started to enclose my lips over the very tip.  I took him deep all at once, making him let out a deep moan, his body tensing under my touch.  I hummed around his length as I started tracing his balls with my fingertips.

"Ughhhh, you make me crazy!" he groaned, writhing around underneath me.  I slipped him all the way out of my mouth and held it in my hand, still stroking him.

"Oppa, fuck my mouth." I said, sitting up.

"Oh hell yes." he replied, quickly getting up onto his knees.  I sat on my ass and slid forward, his cock even with my face.  I placed my lips around him and looked up at him as I started to hollow my cheeks and tighten around his erection.  He gripped the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair as he started to thrust in my mouth slowly at first.  I stared up at him, watching the pleasurable expressions on his face as he started to thrust faster and a little deeper.  I hummed around him as his eyes rolled back in his head and he grunted loudly. He thrusted all the way deep, making me gag a little at first.

"Mmmm sorry baby." he said, easing up a bit.  I hummed in response, gripping his hips and pulling him to deepthroat me.  He let out a harsh breath as I let go, urging him to keep going deep.  I would sometimes gag when he did it fast, but I quickly got used to it.  I kept my lips tight, as he gripped my hair tighter, thrusting faster.

"Ohhhhhh baby, I'm gonna cum soon." he grunted, as his head dropped back, growling as I hummed in response.    He went deeper as he thrusted at a steady pace, his breathing getting faster.  I could feel him hardening in my mouth, knowing he was going to cum any moment.  I hummed long and hard, making his hips stutter as he came, groaning and trembling.  I took him deep in me as I swallowed his cum, making him gasp and whimper.  I slowly slid my tongue around as I slipped him out of my mouth with a pop sound, my mouth immediately breaking into a smile.

"Feel better?" I grinned as he plopped back onto the bed, breathing heavily.

"Y-yeah, much better.  Thank you, baby, that was amazing." he said in almost a whisper, running his hands through my hair as I laid down next to him and cuddled into his side.

"Good.  Now maybe you can get some rest." I smiled, resting my hand on his chest.

"If I don't have any more dreams, then yeah." he laughed, kissing my forehead.

"What did you dream about?" I asked, yawning.

"I dreamed about our wedding night, actually.  You were so sexy, and for some reason, knowing that you were my wife, and that you were mine forever, made me crave you so much.   We were in the middle of stuff when I woke up, and...well you know the rest." he chuckled, running his hand over my back.

"Mmmm I can't wait." I said in a sleepy voice. 

"Me neither, baby." he said softly, resting his head against mine.  I fell asleep quickly after that, soon after, having my own dreams about marrying the man of my dreams. 

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	35. T H I R T Y - F I V E

"Today's the day!" Jin sang, bursting into the guest room.  I rubbed my eyes, and almost pulled my blanket over my head until I registered what he said.  My eyes went wide as I shot up in bed, looking at him. 

"Oh my God, I'm getting married today." I said, holding my hand on my head.

"Yes, and you can't get started on this long day without a latte.  Now come out to the kitchen, I've got that and breakfast waiting for you." he said, leaving the door open.  I looked at my phone, relieved to see it was only 8:30.  I saw a text from Hobi, smiling as soon as I opened it.

**_I missed you last night, baby.  I know it will be worth it, but I don't like sleeping without you anymore.  This will be the last time I text you before you become my wife.  Just know I love you and I can't wait to marry you today._ **

I giggled and put my phone on the bed, running to the kitchen.

"Where is the fire?" Namjoon asked, his hair still sticking up in all directions.

"No fire, just happy I'm getting married today!" I grinned, sitting down at the table.

"Alright, let's get you fed and ready.  We have to be at the plaza by two." he said, sliding me my plate.

*****

I felt my nerves building as I paced back and forth in front of the doors to the lobby, letting out slow breaths.

"You're going to make yourself dizzy!  Stop that!" Taehyung giggled, handing me my flowers.

"I'm sorry.  I can't help it." I said, trying to keep from biting my lip.

"You look beautiful." Yoongi smiled.  Tae, Yoongi and Jin were with me, and Namjoon, Jungkook and Jimin were already at the altar with Hoseok.

"Thank you, Yoongi.  How is Hobi holding up?" I asked, standing in front of the doors.

"All I will say is, I will never complain about him being loud or hyper on any normal day.  It was like that but times fifty." Yoongi said, shaking his head.  I burst out laughing, my nerves starting to fall away.

"Are you ready, sis?" Jaebum said, walking up to me and offering me his arm.  I felt my heart ache for a moment as I stood there fanning my face and trying not to cry.

"Oh no no!  You can't do that!  Because A, you will ruin your makeup,  and b you will make me cry." Jin said, handing me a tissue.  I dabbed the corner of my eyes and sniffed before any tears could come out.

"It just really hurts that my dad isn't here.  And I wish Jinyoung was here." I said, letting out a soft sigh.

"I know you do, but in a way, he is.  He would be so proud of you, and probably tell you that you don't look too hideous today to make you laugh." Jaebum replied, kissing my cheek.  I giggled, dabbing my eyes one more time before letting out a short breath.

"Ok, I'm ready now.  Thank you, oppa." I smiled.  I tossed the tissue in the trash and took Jaebum's arm as we exited the door and stood in the entryway to the plaza, hiding behind the doors.  Jin, Taehyung and Yoongi all walked down the isle, and as the music started to play, I looked at Jaebum nervously.  He smiled and patted my hand as the doors opened.  We walked into the doorway and there I saw him.  Hoseok stood there at the altar, rubbing his hands nervously.  But when he saw me, he put a hand over his heart and gave me the most beautiful smile I had ever seen in my life.  I smiled back at him, my heart beating out of my chest at the beautiful man standing there waiting for me.  Not one ounce of nervousness remained.  We might as well have been the only two people in the room, because I didn't see anyone but him.  He took his other hand and wiped his face, tears welling up in his eyes.  As we reached the altar, Jaebum gave me a kiss on the cheek before handing me off to Hoseok.  He took my hand and let out a sigh, as we turned to face the altar.  As the ceremony went on, and we turned to each other to say our vows, it felt as though time stood still.

"I have to say, when you walked out in that doorway, I had to make sure that my heart hadn't stopped.  You are the most beautiful person, inside and out, and I can't believe I have a living and breathing angel in my life.  I had vows all planned out, but seeing you today, they all slipped from my mind.  All I can think about, is how did I get so lucky that you gave me your heart?  I don't know how I possibly deserve you or the love you give me, but I make a promise to you here and now as we start our lives together as husband and wife; I promise I will never take that love for granted.  I will always be there for you, no matter what life brings us.  I will love you every moment of every day until I take my last breath.  I will never let you forget that, and I will do my best to make you the happiest you can possibly be.  I love you with everything that I am, and I will protect your heart and keep it safe, forever." he said, wiping a couple tears away in the process.  I kept dabbing at my eyes to keep the tears from falling as I let out a giggle, squeezing his hand.

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but it's impossible.  You make me feel things I never imagined I could feel.  It's like my heart didn't truly beat until the moment I met you.  Something about you caught my attention from the very start.  In the beginning, we were each other's support as we faced horrible tragedies in our lives, but we quickly became more than that.  You became my reason to live.  I love you with all of my heart, and I am thankful every day that fate brought us together.  I promise you to always be your support, as well as your best friend.  I will always put you first in everything I do, because I want you to always be happy and pursue your dreams.  I promise you forever and always, to love you more than life itself.  I will never allow you to question my love for you, or forget for a single moment, that you are my life.  Today is the day my life truly begins, because I belong with you, and you belong with me, always." I said, unable to keep the smile off of my face.  We exchanged rings and as we were announced husband and wife, Hoseok wrapped me up and kissed me with the most tender and loving feeling, fully taking my breath away.  We walked back down the isle and as we made it to the lobby, he picked me up and spun me around, before placing me back on my feet and kissing me passionately.

"I have the most beautiful wife in the world." he smiled, leaning against my forehead.

"I have the most wonderful and amazing husband in the world" I said, feeling giddy at just calling him my husband.

"You seriously took my breath away when you walked into view.  Namjoon said I would want to see the back of your dress though.  Turn around, and let me see." he said, stepping back.  I slowly turned my back to him as I heard him suck in a slight breath.  I peeked at him over my shoulder with a smirk on my face.

"What is it?" I asked, looking at his lust fill gaze.

"Damn it.  Ok I can't think about that right now!  I have to think about things that will not make me walk into the reception not sporting a giant hard on." he said, shaking his head.

"Just think about how we are never ever going to have to be apart again." I said, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him softly.

"Always and forever, Mrs. Jung."

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	36. T H I R T Y - S I X

"You ready for our first dance as husband and wife?" Hoseok asked as he offered me his hand.  I smiled and stood up, taking his hand firmly in mine.  He asked me to let him pick out what to dance to for our first dance.

"What song did you wind up picking?" I asked, as we reached the floor and he held me gently.

"Just wait..." he said, kissing my cheek.  Soft music that I didn't recognize started playing over the speakers and I couldn't help but grin a big smile as I heard Jaebum, Jimin, Jin, Taehyung and Jungkook's voices harmonizing. 

"Is this new?" I asked, biting my lip.

"It is.  I got them to record it for you.  I wrote it." he said, blushing slightly.  I felt my heart swell with gratitude, pride and joy at the wonderful man that I now was lucky enough to call my husband.

"It is beautiful baby." I replied, trying not to tear up.  Hoseok started dancing with me slowly before we almost started floating along the dance floor with how gracefully he was leading us.

"Hobi, I didn't know you were into this kind of dancing." I said, smiling at him as he spun us around.

"I have a little confession to make....you know how for the past couple of weeks I told you that Jungkook needed me to teach one of his classes for him?  Yeah, I have been taking ballroom lessons instead." he grinned as he dipped me low and placed a soft kiss on my lips.  It was only then that I remembered the room was full of people, hearing them awe or cheer. 

"You are the most amazing husband ever." I giggled as he continued to move us around the dance floor.  When the dance ended, he pulled me close into his arms and kissed me deeply.  When he pulled away, everyone clapped.  As he led me off of the dance floor, I stopped dead in my tracks, tears coming to my eyes immediately.

"Appa?" I choked, as he walked up to me, his arms open.  He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek softly.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late." he said quietly into my ear.  I pulled back and wiped the tears away while staring at him in awe. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked, holding his hands.

"I wasn't about to miss my little girl's wedding.  I am sorry I didn't make it to the ceremony in time. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't get here any earlier." he said, leading me to the chairs and sitting down with me.

"I mean, I thought you said you weren't coming at all." I replied, still shocked I was sitting here at my wedding reception with him.

"I wasn't going to.  But, your husband called me today before the wedding.  He practically begged me to come after giving me multiple apologies.  He explained everything and while I have to say it is still hard to deal with, he really is looking out for your best interests.  I was still undecided for a bit, but that was until your mother sent me a picture of you walking down the isle.  You look so beautiful, and I will regret until my dying day that it wasn't me that was there to walk down with you.  When I got that photo, I rushed to get dressed and got here as quickly as I could." he said, his eyes soft and watery.

"Appa, you are here now.  That's all that matters to me." I replied. 

"Is it too late to ask you for a dance?" he asked, smiling at me softly.

"Of course not." I answered as he  stood up, offering me his hand.  He held me close as a slow song came on, kissing my cheek.

"My little girl isn't so little anymore." he said softly. 

"Appa..." I said, opening my eyes to see Hobi watching us dance with a huge smile on his face.

"Just remember, even though you are a grown, married woman now, you will always be my little girl." he sighed.  I closed my eyes and swayed slowly with him, feeling safe and comforted in his arms.  Even though things had been rough recently, especially since the accident, he was still the loving father I had always known.  I hadn't even noticed the song stopped until we stopped moving and he released me from his hold.  He kissed my cheek one more time before walking me to the edge of the dance floor where Hoseok was waiting.

"Thank you for letting me have this dance." he said to Hobi as he gave my hand to him.

"Not at all, sir.  I'm so glad you were able to make it.  I know this has meant the world to her." he smiled, looking at me.  My dad nodded and gave a small smile before heading over to my mother, who was in almost in tears of joy. 

"Hobi, thank you, so so much.  You are the best man I have ever known." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.  He held me close and kissed me softly as some of the guys hooted at us.  We broke our kiss in laughter, looking over to the banquet table, where we were greeted by happy cheers of our friends.  We both walked over and took a seat, our hands not leaving each other's hold.

"This is such a beautiful wedding." Tae smiled at us.

"Jin worked hard." I grinned, giving him a wink.  He flushed slightly before waving it off.

"I want to take this opportunity to thank you all.  You all have become our dearest friends, and we are lucky to have such a great group." Hosoek said, lifting his glass slightly, urging everyone to pick theirs up.

"I'm just glad you took that position with our company.  If it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be sitting here right now." Jungkook said, grinning back. 

"To great friends, and full lives for us all." Namjoon agreed.

"To your newly wedded life together.  May you both have a lifetime of happiess together." Jin smiled, raising his glass.  We all clinked glasses and took a sip of champagne, me unable to keep my eyes off of my new husband.  I truly did feel like today was the day my life was truly beginning.

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	37. T H I R T Y - S E V E N

"That was the most beautiful and exhausting day of my life." Hoseok smiled as he plopped on the couch.

"It's not over yet.  We have to be at the airport in two hours if we are going to make our flight." I said, sitting beside him.  He groaned and closed his eyes, letting out a sigh.

"Why did I say we leave tonight instead of tomorrow?" he asked, looking over at me.

"I don't know, I tried to convince you to do it tomorrow but you wanted to get an early jump on the honeymoon." I laughed.  He leaned over and kissed me softly, letting his hand linger on my neck as he did.

"I need out of this dress and to shower and change before we leave." I said, giving him a half smile.

"Yeah, I should too." he said, as I got up off the couch.  I stood in front of him and turned my back to him, looking over my shoulder.

"Can you help me out of my dress?" I asked, smirking slightly.

"Uh, yeah.  S-sure." he said, standing up.  He walked two steps over to me and swallowed as he let his fingertips brush over the mesh, sheer material.  He started breathing slightly heavier with every button he unhooked, licking his lips a few times.  As he started to get it more than halfway undone, I let it slip off my shoulders and fall to the floor, a pool of white fabric forming at my feet.  He brushed his fingers softly across the skin of my back, pressing his lips against my shoulder gently.

"Mmmm that feels nice." I said, turning slightly to meet his eye.  He turned me all the way around and locked me into a passionate kiss, letting his hands roam my torso.

"I can't wait to make love to you." he smiled as his hands rested on my hips.

"Well, if you want to before we leave, it will have to be in the shower, cause we don't have much time." I giggled, stepping out of my dress and walking backwards toward our bathroom.  He grinned and loosened his tie as he walked forward, following me.  He lost pieces of clothing along the way.  

"I really wanted the first time I made love to my wife be in a more romantic setting." he said as he watched me turn on the water, shedding the last of his clothing.

"I am getting to make love with my husband, that's as romantic as it gets." I winked as I finished undressing.  He smiled at me and followed me into the shower, making sweet and passionate love right there under the hot stream of water. 

****

"Ughhh I am so tired." I groaned as I laid on the bed, stretching out.

"Me too, babe." he replied, getting on the bed with me and wrapping his arms around me.  We laid there cuddled into each other, just enjoying the warmth and serenity.

"Hobi?" I asked, as I felt his breathing deepening.  I recieved no response except the soft snores that started to come out of his mouth.  I couldn't help smiling and resting my head into his chest, just enjoying the sounds of his heart beating, and the feel of his soft and warm breaths against my skin. 

***

"Don't you dare!" I squealed as I smacked at Hoseok's back and ass.  It was the only thing I could do, given that he had hoisted me over his shoulder and was walking toward the pool of our resort.

"You look hot, babe.  You need to cool off." he laughed.  That was the last thing I heard before I was tossed into the cold water.  I gasped at the coldness as I broke the surface of the water, pushing my wet hair out of my face.

"Y-you ass!" I spluttered, wiping the water from my eyes.  He laughed and jumped in, surfacing right beside me as he flipped back his wet hair.

"I needed an excuse to see you all wet." he said, grabbing my waist and placing a soft kiss on my neck.  I shivered at the contrast of the coolness of the water on my body, and the warmth of his wet mouth attacking my neck.  I blushed in embarrassment but thankfully, there were very few people out.

"Hobi, there are people watching." I said, pushing at him slightly.

"I don't care.  You are my wife, and I want everyone to know it.  Besides, these people don't know you and you will probably never see them again in your life." he smirked.  He started kissing on my neck again, leaving a dark mark in his wake.

"Oh my God, now I look like a horny teenager!" I said, swatting at him.

"No, I look like the horny teenager." he laughed, picking me up.  I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him carry me through the water.   We spent the first day of our honeymoon just relaxing by the pool, ended with a nice dinner and wrapping up in each other's arms.  Most days of our honeymoon went like this and before we knew it, it was our last day, causing a bitter-sweet feeling.

"I don't want it to end." he said softly, kissing my head as we stood on the balcony of our hotel room.  He was in his trunks, and I was still in my bikini, with a cover up skirt, wrapped around my waist, both of us still damp from the soak in the pool.  We decided to come up to watch our last sunset together.

"I don't either." I replied, leaning into him as he wrapped me in a back hug, making me sigh.

"Then, let's make this last night worth every moment." he said in a husky voice, sending chills up my spine.  He started kissing on my neck as he unwrapped my skirt and let it fall to the floor.  I started breathing heavily as he let his hands slide over my body.

"H-Hobi, let's go inside." I murmured, feeling my temperature rising.

"No can do, baby.  I want you right here, right now." he said, letting his hand skim over my ass, squeezing it slightly, making me gasp.

"B-but someone m-might see." I said as he held my hips, grinding himself slightly into me.

"No one can see unless they have binoculars and if they are going to go through that much effort to see, I say let them enjoy the show." he growled in my ear.  I shivered at this dominant side of Hoseok.  It didn't come out very often, but when it did, it was irresistable.  I nodded as he chuckled lightly.

"Good girl.  Now bend for me slightly, baby." he whispered in my ear.  I nodded again as I bent slightly, grabbing on to the railing.  He urged my legs apart slightly as he let the tip of his finger brush my core through my bottoms.  I whimpered as I felt him slip my bottoms to the side and press his hard member against my entrance.  I bit my lip and stifled a groan as he slipped all the way in me with a harsh breath. 

"Hobi!  Oh GOD you are so deep." I grunted as he grabbed my hips and started thrusting in and out of me at a fast pace.  You could hear his heavy breaths and our skin slapping together as he pounded into me hard.

"Mmm you are so tight, baby.  You make me feel so good." he grunted, gripping my hips tightly, digging his fingers into my skin.  I grabbed the railing tight, going between gasping and biting my lip to hold back moans. 

"Mmmnnn so good." I whimpered, feeling my legs start to quiver.  I almost couldn't handle the intense pleasure he was giving me, nearly dropping to my knees.  He wrapped one arm around the front of me, supporting my hips a little more as he rolled his hips slightly as he thrusted.

"I'm gonna cum soon." he breathed as he sped up slightly.  I gasped and felt my body start tense up, my knees almost knocking.

"HOBI!" I almost whined as I felt my body moments away from a release.

"Oh I'm cumming!" he groaned as his thrusting slowed and became irregular.  Hearing him in pleasure like that and filling me deep with his warmth made me come apart, my legs shaking so badly I thought I would collapse.  As I finished, I almost did, if it wasn't for his support, allowing me to gain my footing on wobbily legs.

"That was amazing." I said, still out of breath, holding onto the railing with a tight grip.

"It really was.  Now come on, let's wash up and get a good night's rest." He said as he picked me up and carried me into the room.  It was the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon, and nothing could have made it any better.

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	38. T H I R T Y - E I G H T

"Are you sure?  Like 100% sure?" Jin asked, looking like he was going to combust in excitement.

"I am sure." I said, grinning.

"OH MY GOD!!!! I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!" Jin shrieked, holding my hands. 

"Were you guys trying yet?" Tae asked, clapping his hands in joy.

"Not really!  We have only been married six months, so I wasn't exactly planning to start our family so early.  But, I am happy now that it is here." I replied, placing my hand over my stomach.

"What did Hoseok say?" Taehyung asked, all smiles.

"I haven't told him yet." I said, biting my lip.

"What?!  We know before the daddy?!" Jin asked, his eyes wide.

"Yes, I am trying to think of a cute way to tell him." I said, sipping on my juice while everyone enjoyed their wine.

"OH MY GOD! I have the best idea!!" Tae grinned.  And so began our plan of announcing the pregnancy to Hoseok.

******

"I can't believe Tae and Jungkook finally got engaged!  I thought it was never going to happen." Hobi said as we pulled into Yoongi and Jimin's house.

"I'm happy for them." I said as we walked up to the house.  Tonight was Jungkook and Tae's engagement party, and the night Hoseok was going to have his world shaken.   Jimin answered the door with big smiles, inviting us both in.

"Yay!  The last of our party to arrive!" Namjoon cheered as he raised his glass.   We joined everyone in the living room and talked and laughed at stories of Tae and Jungkook from the very beginning of their relationship.

"Oh!  So you know how I have really gotten into the whole cake decorating thing, right?" Jin said, getting everyone's attention.

"The fact that I think your fingers are permanently dyed green from that icing you made the other day, I don't think anyone can miss that, babe." Namjoon laughed.

"Ha ha very funny.  The reason I brought it up, was that I made everyone personalized cupcakes tonight instead of a traditional cake, and I want your opinion on the flavors." Jin said, rushing off to get a box that was full of cupcakes.  He handed the first one to Jungkook who grinned.

"Oh look!  It says Kookie on it!" he laughed, showing us the intricately decorated cupcake that looked excatly like a cookie. 

"A strawberry!!! And it says Chimchim on it!" Jimin said, squealing in excitement at his.  Jin handed Hoseok and me our cupcakes at the same time, while making sure Hobi didn't see the top of mine.  Hoseok laughed at his and scrunched up his forehead, looking up at Jin.

"Um, I think considering that you are putting people's nicknames on them, you may have given me Namjoon's." Hobi chuckled.

"Nope, that's yours." Jin grinned.  Hoseok looked back down at it confused for a moment, looking over at the couple.

"But, mine says Daddy.  That is so you and Joon's thing." he laughed. 

"I made yours to match your wife's." Jin said, beaming.  Hoseok looked back over at me as I looked up at him, almost laughing at his confusion.

"Let me see." he said, scooting closer and looking at my cupcake.  It was simply decorated with white frosting with the word Mommy written in pink icing.  He wrinkled his forehead slightly, but suddenly his eyes went wide and he looked up at me, his mouth hanging open.

"You're.....you're not....are you pregnant?!" he asked, his eyes going from my belly to my face over and over again before he locked eyes with me. 

"Yes, Daddy, I am." I grinned.  He laughed loudly and put our cupcakes on the coffe table before wrapping me up in his arms, showering me with pecks all over my cheeks and neck.  Everyone cheered and clapped as we all celebrated.

"I feel like I'm stealing your thunder." I said, looking over at Jungkook who had Tae sitting on his lap, all smiles.

"Nonsense!  I am the one who suggested it!" Tae grinned as Jungkook ran his hand over Tae's leg.

"Of course, we were happy that we could share in this happy moment with you all." Jungkook replied, smiling brightly. 

"I can't believe it.  I'm going to be an appa." he said, placing his hand over my stomach.

"You are going to be the best appa that this baby could ever wish for." I said, kissing his cheek softly. 

*****

~ 2 weeks later ~

"Alright, are you ready to meet your baby?" the doctor said, prepping the ultrasound wand. 

"More than ready." Hobi responded, holding my hand.  The doctor started the ultrasound and I couldn't really tell what was on the screen yet, but he looked at us and smiled.

"Well, you see that right there?  That is your baby..." he said, pointing to the screen.  I got teary eyed knowing that we were looking at our baby. 

"Aaaand right there is baby number two." the doctor continued.  Hoseok looked at me, his eyes wider than I had ever seen them.

"What?!" he shouted, breaking out into the biggest grin.

"Yes, it is definitely twins.  Do they run in either of your families?" the doctor chuckled.  Hobi wiped the tears coming out of my eyes, kissing me over and over on the forehead.

"Yeah, in mine.  I was a twin." I said, feeling such a mix of happiness and shock, with a little bit of pain all at that one moment.  Hoseok just held me in his arms as the doctor continued to explain everything.  As we left the office and headed to my parent's house, I couldn't help but feel slightly in a daze.

"Are you ok, baby?  You have been awful quiet." he said as we got out of the car.

"Yeah, I'm just processing.  I am happy, Hobi.  Really.  It's just a lot to take in." I said, as he wrapped me in a gentle hug.

"I am sure this is making you think about Jinyoung a lot, and I'm sure you must be hurting too." he almost whispered.

"A little, yes.  But I am more happy about our family." I grinned.

"Are you ready to tell your parents?" he asked, pulling away and knocking on the door.  I nodded and before long, the door opened to reveal my mother, looking surprised and delighted.

"Oh!  What a nice surprise!! I wasn't expecting my kids to drop by!  Come in!" she said, hugging us both and ushering us in the door.

"It's good to see you both." my father said, hugging me and shaking Hobi's hand. 

"It's good to see you too, sir." Hoseok smiled.  They had been getting along pretty well recently, to which I was greatly thankful for.

"What brings you both by?" my mom asked as we sat in the living room.

"Well, we actually stopped by to give you some rather exciting news." I said, looking over at Hoseok.  His smile had not left his face, not once, making me so thankful that he was as happy about this pregnancy as he was.

"Are you going to keep us in suspense?" my father laughed, looking back and forth between us.  I nodded to Hobi, who let out a big breath.

"Are you two ready to be grandparents?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.  My mom screamed and jumped up, running over to me and almost tackling me in joy.

"Oh! Oh! My baby is having a baby!" she cried tears of happiness.

"I don't think you could have made your Eomma any more excited." My dad laughed.

"Hold that thought, Appa.  I am slightly afraid she may crush me though if I tell her it's twins." I said, giggling.  She screamed again, looking at Hobi and basically tackling him as well.  We couldn't stop laughing as she couldn't calm down for a good five minutes.  We enjoyed the evening together, celebrating the pregnancy with my mother excitedly planning things for these babies.   As we left, another surprise happened, one that I wasn't expecting.

"Be safe, and have wonderful night.  And thank you, son, for making her so happy and making me a grandparent.  I am proud of you both." my dad said, taking Hoseok in for a hug, patting his back.  I thought I was hallucinating, and couldn't help but wipe a happy tear from my eye.  When Hoseok was released from the hug, he had tears in his eyes as well.  I could tell he wanted to cry badly and knew he would as soon as we walked out the door, but he was holding it together quite well.

"Thank you so much." he said, bowing low to my father.

"Aish, none of that.  Now you two get home before it gets too late." he said, patting Hoseok's hands.  With that we said our goodbyes and left, and as soon as we did, the dam burst.  He cried into his hands while I wrapped my arms around him, rocking him side to side.

"You are just so happy, you can't take it, right?" I said softly.  He didn't often get feelings of guilt for what happened anymore, but I had a feeling that is exactly what this was.  He nodded at me and sighed, looking at me with watery eyes.

"You deserve every ounce of happiness you get, and I couldn't be more excited and proud of you.  You are an amazing man and will be an even more amazing appa." I said, kissing him softly.

"Not as wonderful as you will be at being an Eomma." he said, resting his forehead against mine. 

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	39. T H I R T Y - N I N E

_**~ 3 years later ~** _

Two minutes.  I swear I was in the bathroom for two minutes and I walked into my kitchen to a disaster.  There were coffee grounds and sugar all over the floor and countertops, making me groan.

"Jung Jinyoung! Jung Jihoon, you get over here right now!" I shouted.  The sight I was met with was almost enough to make me forget scolding them,  but I had to keep my stern face on at the moment.  They both came into the kitchen, heads hanging down. 

"What is the meaning of this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"You tell." Jinyoung almost whispered, nudging his brother.  Jihoon let out a sigh and looked up at me with those big eyes of his, pouting slightly.

"We was tryin to make coffee for Appa.  We know he's tired when he gets home from working, so we was gonna make coffee so he stays awake and plays with us." Jihoon said, sadly.  Oh my goodness, if these boys didn't tug at my heartstrings all the time.  They were fairly well behaved boys, but if they weren't, I'm still sure they would get away with murder.

"Babies, why didn't you ask for help?  You know I would be happy to help you." I said, squatting down to their level.  Jinyoung's little lip started to poke out, his chin quivering slightly.

"Cause you work hard too, Eomma.  We wanna be good, but we was bad." he sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.  At hearing his brother say that, Jihoon started to tear up as well.

"Aw, my sweet boys.  Come here." I said, opening my arms to them.  They rushed me and wrapped their little arms around me as best as they could as I squeezed them both together.

"We sorry, Eomma!" Jinyoung started to cry.

"Shhhh, don't cry.  It's ok, I'm not mad at you.  I was a little bit at first, but you were so sweet to think of your appa like that.  I tell you what, let's clean up this mess and I will make some coffee, and then if you boys want, you can help me bake a cake for later when Appa gets home.  Sound good?" I asked, rubbing their backs.

"A cake?!  Yay!  We gets to help?" Jihoon grinned, wiping away the last remnants of tears off of his face.  I gave them both a kiss on the cheek and stood up to get the dustpan and broom.  This was going to take a minute.

***

"And done!  What do you think boys?" I asked, twirling the cake around on the cake stand.

"So pretty, Eomma!" Jinyoung smiled, his eyes lighting up.

"It look like Uncle Jinnie's cakes!" Jihoon said, clapping.

"Oh, I'm gonna take a picture of it and send it to Uncle Jinnie.  I will tell him that you two made this." I smiled, taking out my cell phone. 

"Jagi, boys, I'm home." we heard from the living room.  Both boys squealed and took off running to the living room, shouting appa at the top of their lungs as I followed, laughing.  He was already squatting on the floor waiting for them with his arms open.  They ran into his arms, tackling him to the floor in a fit of giggles.  This was their daily routine when Hoseok had to work, and they loved every minute of it. 

"How are my boys today?" he asked, kissing them both on their heads.

"Good!  We made you a cake!" Jinyoung smiled, leaning against Hoseok.

"You made me a cake?  Is that what smells so yummy?" he laughed, ruffling the boys hair.

"Yeah we did!  Eomma made it pretty as Uncle Jinnie's!" Jihoon said excitedly.

"Oh is it now?  I will have to see this." he said, looking up at me, winking.

"The boys insisted you have coffee with your cake so you can stay up and play with them." I said, offering him a hand up as the boys ran to the kitchen.  He got up and kissed me softly, wrapping me up in a hug.

"Or maybe it will make me want to stay up and play with you instead." he mumbled in my ear, giving me chills.

"Of course." I winked as he let go of me.  He smacked my ass as we walked into the kitchen, the boys bouncing and pointing at the cake.

"See Appa?  You gonna eat some?" Jinyoung asked, his eyes big.

"Of course I will, buddy.  And I have to make sure to have that coffee so we can play extra long tonight." he said, winking at me.  They both cheered as I giggled, cutting a slice for the three in front of me.   They scarfed it down, Hoseok doing and saying things to make the boys laugh.  It was a sight and a sound I never tired of.  When they finished I urged him to take them to play as I stayed back and washed the dishes.  I then sat on the couch in the living room as I watched them wrestle with Hoseok until they were exhausted. 

"Alright, bath time and then bedtime buddies." he said, standing up and offering them each a hand.

"Can you read a story, Appa?" Jihoon asked, looking up at his daddy with big eyes.

"Mmmm, I don't know, were you good boys today?" he asked as they walked to the bathroom together. 

"They were good." I called back, making them both look at me and smile.

"See? Eomma says was good!  Pretty please?" Jinyoung asked.  Hoseok laughed as he started the bath water, agreeing to read to them.  I stood in the doorway as I watched them play in the bubbles, taking turns making beards on each other, including Hoseok.  I snapped a quick picture before they noticed and sent it to their Uncles, knowing they would love it.  After their bath, we dried them off and carried both of our sleepy boys to bed.  We tucked them in and I sat beside them, stroking their hair as Hobi sat on the other side, reading them one of their favorites.  By time he was done, they were both fast asleep.  We kissed them goodnight and walked to the bedroom, Hoseok sighing.  I pulled his shirt off of him and had him sit on the edge of the bed as I started massaging his shoulders softly, making him close his eyes and lean his head back.

"That feels so good, baby." he said, humming in appreciation.

"I tell you what, why don't you take a nice hot shower and then come to bed and I will make sure you are really relaxed?" I said into the side of his neck.

"Done!" he said, springing off the bed and into the bathroom.  I laughed as I changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, sitting in the bed to wait.  He came out of the bathroom in just sweatpants, making me almost groan.  He still looked every bit as sexy and still took my breath away every bit as much as it did in the beginning.  He climbed up in the bed and cuddled into me, kissing me softly.  We just enjoyed that for a while, soft kisses and warm touches as we looked into each other's eyes. 

"I love you so much." he said, cupping my face in his hand. 

"I love you too." I replied, staring into his beautiful eyes.  He started kissing me again softly as we heard a little knock at the door.  Hoseok closed his eyes and sighed before turning on his back.

"Come in." I said, and the door was slowly opened to reveal a sniveling Jinyoung, gripping his teddy bear in his arm.

"Aw, what's wrong buddy?" Hoseok asked, sitting up and motioning for him to come to the bed.  He turned and picked up Jinyoung, cradling him in his lap.

"I has a bad dream." he sniffled, wiping his face hard, his eyes all red rimmed and puffy.

"Awww, my poor buddy.  Don't be scared, it wasn't real.  Whatever it was, it didn't really happen, so you have nothing to worry about.  Everyone is here, everything is safe, ok?" He said, rocking him slightly.  Before another word could be said, I heard Jihoon shouting for me.  I jumped up and walked quickly to the bedroom to see him sitting up and crying hard.

"What is it, sweetie?" I asked him, walking over and picking him up.  He wrapped his arms around my neck as I patted his back, trying to soothe him.

"I waked up and Jinyoung's gone.  And the night light is off so it really dark and I got scared." he sniffled.  I started walking to our bedroom with him clinging tightly to me.

"He just had a bad dream sweetheart, it's ok.  See?  He is safe in here with us." I said as I walked over to the bed and sat down, moving him to be cradled facing Hoseok and Jinyoung.

"Jihoon buddy, you ok?" Hobi asked, reaching over and wiping a tear off of his face.  He nodded and curled into my chest a little more, gripping on to my shirt.

"Appa, can we sleep with you and Eomma?" Jinyoung asked, looking up at Hoseok.  He sighed and looked over at me, knowing what that answer was going to be already.  We were both suckers for our boys.

"Of course you can, buddy.  Here, let's get you both tucked in." He said, picking up Jinyoung and settling him between us.  I scooted Jihoon between us as well and we both laid on either side of them.  We both looked at each other over the boys' heads as we rubbed and patted their backs until little soft sleeping breaths could be heard from them both.  Hoseok blew me a kiss before turning the lamp of and snuggling down into bed.  I laid there for one moment, staring at these three in my bed, feeling so incredibly lucky to have them all in my life.

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 **(A/N: I have to admit, any time I see the name Jihoon in a fic, I squeal a bit, cause that is actually my oppa's name hehe)**

 


	40. F O R T Y

I smiled as I heard the boys giggling in their room, making me shake my head at their silliness.  They got along really well, thankfully and they were really close as well.  It made me sad in some instances because it reminded me of times I used to have with my brother, but it more made me happy that they had each other.  I was hoping Hoseok would make it home before the boys' bedtime but it wasn't looking likely tonight.  There were a few nights lately he had to miss it unfortunately, but it was for good reasons.  He had become such a popular dance instructor and choreographer that all of his classes were full, and even some idol groups had contacted him to choreograph their videos.  That is what he was doing the last couple of weeks, but thankfully he was almost done.  He still was home and here for us, but we just missed him when he was away.  I honestly don't know who missed him more, me or the boys.  My phone went off for a text message as I dried my hands from washing the dishes.

**Hey baby.  I can't find my keys anywhere, I think I must have dropped them.  Gonna look for them in the daylight, but Jaebum is giving me a ride home.  See you soon, my love.**

I smiled and put my phone in my pocked as I called to the boys that their appa would be home soon.  They both shouted cheers as I finished tidying up the living room.  I went in my room and started combing out my hair and pulling it up, since I knew he was going to need relaxation tonight. 

"Alright boys, let's get your baths started so you can be all cleaned up for Appa when he gets home, ok?" I called. 

"Ok Eomma!" Jihoon answered as I saw them both take off running to the bathroom.  I chuckled as I watched them race to see who could get naked and in the tub faster, leaving clothes flung around the bathroom.  I bathed them both, and dried them off, dressing them in their favorite pajamas.

"Eomma, can we stay up til Appa gets home?" Jinyoung asked, looking up at me with a pleading face.

"Alright, you can stay up just until he gets home, and then it's off to bed for you both." I replied.  They both cheered and ran back into their room, making me shake my head and smile.  I picked up their clothes and started a load of laundry before finishing tidying up other parts of the house.  I heard a knock at the door, feeling confused for a moment.  Oh right, no keys.  I walked to the door, grinning.

"Oh, some strange man is knocking at my door.  I wonder if I should let him in." I chuckled, opening the door.  But what I was greeted with was not Hoseok. 

"Ma'am, are you Mrs. Jung?" the one officer asked.  I nodded, feeling a sense of sickness and dread wash over me.

"We're gonna need you to come with us, there has been an accident." the other stated.  That was the last thing I heard before my conciousness left me.

*****

I peeled my eyes open slowly, at first not recognizing my surroudings.  It was then that I realized I was in a hospital bed, an IV in my arm.  I looked around and saw Jin standing there, his hand over his mouth.

"J-Jin?" I asked, my voice, barely coming out.  He gasped in relief and looked at me, holding my hands.

"Oh thank God you are awake." he said, squeezing my hands. 

"What happened.....wait, where are the boys?!" I asked, jolting upright, ready to leap out of bed.

"Hey, slow down.  Don't worry, Jimin and Yoongi are there with them.  They just went to sleep not long ago." Jin said, showing me a picture on his phone that Yoongi sent him of the boys sleeping on their big bed with Jimin sleeping next to them.  It was then that I remembered the police coming to my door, making me yank the IV out of my arm and fling back the covers, jumping out of bed.

"Where is he?  Where is my Hobi?" I asked, tears forming in my eyes as I headed for the door, still feeling light headed.

"Slow down, I will take you there, ok?  Just slow down for me." Jin said, rushing to my side and holding my arm.  I swallowed and nodded as he slowly led me a few doors down.  He opened the door and as he did I leaned heavily against him as I felt all strength leave my legs. There he was, laying in bed, his eyes closed and body still. 

"Hobi?" I croaked as I felt tears roll down my face.  He snapped his eyes open and looked over at me, a worried expression on his face.  I gasped and ran to him leaning over onto the bed sheets, crying hard.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.  Come here, please." he said, scooting over in the bed. I climbed up onto the hospital bed with weak legs and curled into him, clinging on to his hospital gown.  I cried heavily, so afraid to let go of him.  Jin held back a little cry of his own as he went over to Namjoon and sat on his lap.

"I..I thought...I.." I tried to talk, not even able to form more than a couple of sylables together. 

"Shhh I know, I know. I'm ok, I promise you, baby.  Just some bumps and bruises and a little cut that required a couple of stitches.  They are gonna keep me here overnight, just because it reaggrivated the old injuries, but just to observe." he said, smoothing his hand over my back.  He kissed my temple over and over until my sobs finally started to calm down. 

"Wh-why did the p-police show up?" I asked, still hiccuping.

"I don't know, baby. I wish they wouldn't have scared you like that.  Jin hyung told me you passed out from the shock." Hoseok said, looking back at Jin.

"It's ok, I'm just thankful you are safe.  I can't ever lose you." I said, still clinging to him.

"You won't lose me." he said softly, running his hand through my hair.

"Wait, where is Jaebum?" I said, looking at Hoseok in a panic.

"Shhhh, baby.  He is ok too.  He has a broken arm, but he is ok." he said, patting my back.  I let out a large breath and truly relaxed in to him, savoring the feel of his body, his familiar scent, his warmth.  I really couldn't live without him.

"I better go back to your room for a minute.  Jungkook is going to come upstairs and wonder where you went."Jin said, standing up and walking toward the door.

"Thank you for everything, Jin hyung." Hoseok said, as Jin smiled and nodded.  We laid there quietly for a moment, just soaking in each other's presence until Jin and Jungkook walked in, followed by a doctor.

"There you are.  Mrs. Jung, you collapsed. You really should have left the IV in and stayed put." she said, walking over to the bed.

"I am fine, it was just shock. I couldn't stay still until I knew my husband was ok." I said, still holding onto him tightly.

"Let me at least get another IV in you.  You need to try to keep your heartrate down." she said, urging me to turn on my back so she could access my arm.  I nodded and offered her my arm as she stuck me with another IV.

"Now, I am here to talk about your condition." she said, taping the IV in place.

"What about it?" Hoseok asked, his face furrowing with concern.

"Oh, nothing to be concerned about. As long as there are no further complications, you will be just fine, Mr. Jung. I was referring to the fact that Mrs. Jung is expecting, but I'm sure you aleady knew that." she said, looking at her papers.

"Wait, what?!"I asked, looking at her wide eyed.

"You didn't know?  Most women who have already had a pregnancy can tell they are pregnant again.  Haven't you been missing your cycles?" she asked, looking at me.

"I...yeah I have missed a few but ever since the boys came, they haven't been regular.  I thought I was just missing some again." I said, and Hoseok became a giggling mess beside me.

"We are going to have another baby!!! It is just one, right?" he asked, looking up at the doctor.  She laughed heartily before answering.

"I don't know, there hasn't been an ultrasound performed.  We just ran your bloodwork after you were brought in unconcious.    But I can get a nurse to bring around the machine if you would like." she said, pointing behind her.  Hoseok quickly nodded, the grin not having left his face.  She smiled and left the room, before it erupted in squeals and cheers from everyone.

"Oh my God, Tae and Jimin and Yoongi are going to FLIP when they hear this!" Jungkook said, his thumbs firing a text away.  Not a few minutes later, Jaebum came walking in the room with a cast on his arm, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank God.  They told me you passed out, and I couldn't help but feel responsible.  I am so sorry." he said, bowing to me.

"Aish, Jaebum oppa, stop that. I am happy you all are alive and safe." I said, holding out my hand to him.  As he took my hand, the nurse came in, wheeling over the ultrasound machine.

"Are you ready to see your baby?" she asked, prepping the machine.  Jaebum's eyes went wide as he looked at me incredulously.

"Baby?!  You are pregnant?!" he asked, laughing and looking at my stomach.

"Yeah, I guess I am. I didn't know until a few minutes ago." I laughed. 

"Alright, we better clear out so you can have your privacy." Jin urged.

"It's ok, you guys can stay if you want.  After the terrible evening we all had, you can feel the joy too." I said, pulling my shirt over my stomach.  They nodded and adjusted back to a relaxed position as the nurse started sliding the wand over my stomach.

"Ok, it is just one baby.  And she looks healthy!  You look like you are just about four months along." she smiled.

"She????" Hoseok gasped.

"Oh, yes.  Sorry, I shouldn't have revealed that without asking." she said, biting her lip.

"No...it's....we are going to have a daughter." Hoseok said, his eyes all watery.  I heard Jin sniffling as well, making me smile.  I looked around the room and then back at Hoseok as he leaned over and kissed me softly, cupping my face in his hand.  I sighed in relief and contentment, happy that things were only changing for the better in our lives.  Our family was growing, and I had my husband safe by my side.  What more could I have asked for?

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	41. F O R T Y - O N E

"Let me see her! Let me see my beautiful niece!" Jimin said, rushing over to the hospital bed. Hoseok giggled and handed her over to Jimin as he became a gushing and mushy mess with our little girl in his arms.

"Oh my God, Jagi! You have to let us have one! Please, please PLEASE?" Jimin asked walking over to a smiling Yoongi.

"If you really think we are ready baby, then sure. I told you after we were married that we could start a family. Well, it's been well over a year since we got married, and I was just waiting for you to bring it up, Jiminie." he replied, smiling at his husband. Jimin's eyes filled with tears quickly as he stood there, his mouth hanging open.

"Here, let me take my niece." Taehyung said, opening his arms as Jimin let him take her so he could wrap Yoongi up in tight hug.

"I can't believe you are ready for us to be parents! I am so happy right now." Jimin said, leaning his head into Yoongi's neck, letting out a cute little cry. Yoongi grinned and patted Jimin's back, kissing his cheek softly.

"I love you, Jiminie." he said softly.

" I love you too, Jagi." Jimin replied, letting out a sigh.

"Wow, you two are so cute, it hurts." Jungkook laughed, shaking his head.

"Where are Jin and Namjoon?" Jaebum asked, looking around for the missing faces.

"The boys spent the night over at their place so they could play with Kihyun." Hoseok said, unable to take his eyes off of his daughter.

"Ahhh Jisoo. Jimin and Yoongi are going to have to adopt a girl so you have somoene to play with too." Taehyung smiled, bouncing her as he walked back and forth. She started to squirm in his arms a little, letting out little grunting cries. His eyes went wide as he looked over at us.

"Ok she is done with me. Someone take her." he said, looking back and forth between us. Hobi quickly rushed over and opened his arms, almost looking like he melted when he took her in his.

"Shhhh it's ok my girl. Appa has you." he said, cooing at her until she stopped crying.

"Aish, how can I handle this cuteness?" Jimin giggled.

"You're telling me." I said, patting my heart. He walked over and smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed, bouncing her slightly as she started to doze off.

"Have the boys seen her yet?" Yoongi asked.

"No, we decided we were going to wait until we bring her home. I would feel bad for Jin and Namjoon having to bring all three boys up here and try to keep them calm. They are really excited though." I said, smiling at the thought of my sweet boys. Even though they had only been gone one night, I sure did miss them. Hoseok got up and laid Jisoo in her bed before coming back over to me and sitting down, holding my hand.

"I have to say, my heart has never been as full as it is now. I have the love of my amazing wife, my two wonderful boys, and now my precious daughter. I couldn't really ask for more." he said, kissing my head.

"I feel the same way. We have a wonderful family, and such a great group of friends." I said, looking around the room.

"My God, you guys are gonna give me diabetes!" Taehyung laughed.

"You just wait til it's your turn in this spot. You will know exactly what we mean." Hoseok chuckled, pointing at Jungkook and Taehyung.

"Mmmm no kids for us. We are gonna be the cool uncles who borrow our nieces and nephews, but then give them back after a day or two." Jungkook said, looking at Jisoo.

"Nothing wrong with that. As long as you both are happy, that is what matters." I said, smiling at them both.

*****

I sat on the couch, cradling Jisoo in my arms after just having fed her. The boys were due back with Jin any minute, and Hoseok and I couldn't wait to see their reactions.

"Jin said they are down the street. I'm going to go outside and meet them so I can try to calm the boys down before they meet their sister." Hobi said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

"Ok, babe." I smiled, rocking Jisoo as she made little grunts and squeaks, her eyes getting heavier. I lost track of the time, just staring at her beauty until I heard the front door open slowly.

"Alright now, be really soft and quiet because she is sleeping." Hoseok said, holding their hands. Their eyes went wide and big smiles spread across their faces as they approached me.

"Jinyoung, Jihoon, say hello to your sister, Jisoo." I said, laying her on my legs with her head by my knees so they could really see her.

"Oh, I'm going to cry!" Jin said, looking on at the sight of both boys looking on in adoration at their little sister.

"See, you need to get Kihyun a sibling." I said, grinning.

"Trust me, I am trying to talk Joonie into it. But I think once he sees this, he will change his mind really quick." Jin said, grinning.

"Eomma, she's so pretty!" Jinyoung said, not taking his eyes off of his sister.

"She gets to stay forever, right?" Jihoon asked, looking up at me.

"Yes, sweetie, she is staying forever and ever." I said, smiling at him.

"Here, let Appa see her." Hoseok said, walking over and picking her up. He sat down a little ways over on the couch so the boys could sit on either side of him. Once Jinyoung climbed up between us, I squeezed him in my arms, kissing his cheek a few times.

"I missed you boys so much." I said, holding him tightly.

"I missed you too, Eomma." he replied, turning and kissing my cheek. He climbed more in my lap as he turned to face Hoseok.

"Thank you so much for taking good care of them, Jin." I said, as he smiled, walking over toward me.

"You know I love my nephews, so it was my pleasure. They were really good, and Kihyun had a blast with them." he said, ruffling Jihoon's hair.

"We had fun with Uncle Jinnie!" Jihoon giggled.

"I'm glad you had fun with me." Jin replied. The evening went pretty smoothly, the boys well behaved and not wanting to leave Jisoo's side. I finally got her down to sleep and ran in with Hoseok to tuck the boys in. By time we both climbed into bed, we were absolutely exhausted. I cuddled against Hobi and relaxed, enjoying the feeling of his firm chest.

"MMm you tired, babe?" he asked, his voice already heavy.

"Yeah, but a good tired." I said, snuggling into him more. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you, baby." He said, looking into my eyes before giving me a soft, gentle kiss.

"I love you too, Hobi." I replied, putting my hand on his cheek. We quickly fell asleep, wrapped up in each other's arms, safe and happy. And that's the way things stayed, safe and happy, together.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for reading this fanfic! I hope you enjoyed it! I have at least 4 more in the works, two of which are a little different. I am writing a "little space" fanfic, which has been requested of me. I have never written one like this before, so I hope you all are able to enjoy it. There are plenty of ships in it lol If not, I hope you keep looking for other books I have coming out. There will also be a Yoonmin fanfic, and a Taekook fanfic coming out as well. The fourth one is also different, a kind I haven't written before. It is hybrid fanfic that has been requested as well, so I hope that you are able to find enjoyment in it. I will continue to write as long as I get inspiration for stories, so I hope I can always bring you books that you enjoy reading. Thank you all for your support, comments, and votes on these stories. It really does help keep me motivated to know that others are enjoying what I write. Thank you so much again! Love to you all <3!!!


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